By: Gabriela Yareliz
Just had a blast from the past collecting some olds writings that pre-date this blog.
I saw old comments, old posts, old photos, people from the past, people who made it to the present. I saw my old journal entries. I got a little emotional. I won’t lie. There I was, bare on the page. Bold. In some ways, clueless about the world; in other ways, wise beyond my years.
I saw love, heartbreak, confusion, hard-fought successes and prayers in disappointments. I think back at that little me, and I smile. She had no idea what life was, what was coming or how wild her life would be. A wild f-ing adventure. I am glad she grew, and at the same time, I love her and am deeply and forever rooting for her.
I was encouraging and hilarious, but at times, rough and cutting with my words. I didn’t mask my dysfunction well. I used words like “fantabulous” and “sniffle” and was seriously obsessed with Shakespeare. I always loved Jesus and knew He was right there beside me. I did my best. I had amazing and supportive people around me. In many ways, they have no idea how much their encouragement and love meant to me. They had no idea what I was living through, and in many ways, neither did I.
I saw friends from camp, friends from church, high school friends, the guy I thought I was gonna marry (and thank God I didn’t), my teachers, my rants, my speeches, my figuring it all out– it was all there. I was wrong about some stuff. I was also wildly open despite my fears and youth. In the posts, it was clear I loved people and my friendships crossed cliques and lines. Despite navigating tough moments, I was fully alive.
As I deactivated the page again, reflecting on things and images that seemed like a lifetime ago, I only had one thought–
I am grateful for it all.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 