I enjoyed Tracy Tutor’s Fear is Just a Four-Letter Word. It’s a great book on how to work with difficult people and succeed in difficult situations. I never saw her on reality TV and yet somehow, I landed in her orbit. She is one of my favorite follows. She just seems focused, competent and genuine. And in addition to that, she is fit, stylish and hilarious. Her voice really shines through in her book. Her stories are real. No BS. She calls out people and she calls out her mistakes.
Here are some of my favorite takeaways:
“Sometimes you have to step back and remind everyone of the ultimate outcome.”
“This is one of the situations where your intuition is most trustworthy: when you want to call someone out. Just fucking do it.”
“I’m completely willing to sacrifice carefully crafted eloquence for speaking my mind in the moment.”
“When you showcase fragility to a client or person in power, you’ve immediately lost the fight.”
“Fragility is needing something to happen to prove your value or worth…”
“My life is not measured by the outcome of this fight. You’re going to fight like hell, for sure, but whether you win or lose does not determine your worth. You can’t control every variable, and no one has a perfect hit rate. Assholes do not get to ruin your peace of mind. Don’t allow it.”
“Karma is a patient little gangster.”
“You’ve got to learn how to tolerate discomfort or you’ll have no chance.”
“Grit is a lightness on your toes that will help you keep coming up with new strategies and inhabiting alternate perspectives until one of them works.”
“I’m up to my eyeballs in bullshit from a crazy client or a failing marriage or trolls coming at me online. You don’t get to quit life.”
“You are either at the table or on the menu.”
“This is learnable. You just have to be willing to see the window cracked open that you could get through when everyone else is so focused on a locked door.”
“Humor isn’t careful. It’s always a little bit risky.”
“You have to have some humility in life in general.”
It was unseasonably warm this week. Please, we do not want to regress into summer. I sweat more than I care to admit, this week. Ever had those moments where you are like, is it my period or sweat that I feel soaking through my pants? (And given my track record— it could be either— or both! Ha!).
We went to a cool Italian culture festival and saw old cars and heard an Italian man sing old classics. His sidekick with the accordion looked like Bearclaw from New Girl. It was very nice. I remember that day, the temperature dropped like twenty degrees while we were there. It was much chillier as we were leaving. I looked across a terrace where some people were eating, and a woman had zipped up her vest with her arms tucked inside. She was cold and was ok if she couldn’t reach for her spoon. Now, we are praying the temperature drops 20F.
Despite it returning to being warm, I ventured into soup territory and made a broccoli carrot soup from Jennifer Fischer’s cookbook (which is very cool by the way).
I spent a lot of time reading and trying to catch up on my reading goal for the year. I dug up old Kindle books I was almost done with and decided I should finally finish some of these (or at least try). Tying up loose ends between the years. As I was reading this month’s almanac chapter, it dawned on me that there are two months left in the year. How did this happen? How did we get here? It’s wild.
I saw a countdown for how many Sundays are left before Christmas. I really need to start my scouting for gifts.
Dancing With the Stars continues to be a fascination. Very much rooting for Ezra or Maura. This past week— everyone was pretty fantastic, though. It’s almost November, which means it’s almost time for St. Denis Medical to return! Exciting.
As I sweat through another week (including today), here are the things that caught my eye and attention:
“Resilience without boundaries can quietly become self-punishment. I had always believed pushing through was strength.
That if you could endure, you were strong. That stopping meant failing. Now, I was beginning to understand that real strength required a willingness to recalibrate and adjust before something inside you breaks.” Dorit Kemsley
“I only know I must not cling to the thing I would hold fast.” Abbie Graham
“At this size, unless your breasts are made of stone, going braless is not really a whimsical French-girl option. They jiggle. They move. They have their own life. I have never known the joy of not wearing a bra.” Garance Doré (I felt this!)
“El tiempo pone a cada uno en su sitio, pero si vas mandando a la mierda a algunos, pues adelantas camino.” Fernando Fernán Gómez
“Great artists make the roads; good teachers and good companions can point them out. But there ain’t no free rides, baby. No hitchhiking. And if you want to strike out in any new direction—you go alone. With a machete in your hand and the fear of God in your heart.” Ursula K. Le Guin
What she said.Valid.Andy Frisella wisdom. Coach Mike Sullivan, take notes.
“You remember too much, my mother said to me recently.
Why hold onto all that? And I said, Where can I put it down?” Anne Carson
Yes.
“You’ve got to learn how to tolerate discomfort or you’ll have no chance.” Tracy Tutor
Best podcast interviews of the week:
This magical moment in Panthers history (uploaded 21 hours ago because this is fre$h)
This week’s song because I am still in an italianisimo mood:
It’s Thursday, which means Sabbath prep. Part of that means doing laundry. As I was chatting with my mom, we remembered that when I was little and we lived in an apartment, our family went to a laundromat. I have a memory from this time; sitting, waiting and drinking a Snapple.
It’s funny how these types of memories come back to us in the most random ways.
I loved Dorit Kemsley’s book, Unburdened. These were some highlights for me:
“Resilience without boundaries can quietly become self-punishment. I had always believed pushing through was strength.”
“I care deeply. That will never change. But caring no longer means absorbing. Loving no longer means overlooking. Supporting no longer means silencing myself.”
“Once you stop abandoning yourself in public, it becomes harder to keep abandoning yourself in private.”
“Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is stop arguing with what you are seeing.”
“Silence leaves space for interpretation, and interpretation rarely chooses the most generous version of events.”
“The irony is that real freedom does not come from running. It comes from responsibility.”
“Because the life that feels right rarely happens by accident. It happens by choice. By adjustment. By courage.”
Her dedication to her children: “You are the clearest truth I have ever known.”
And her ending: “If there is one thing I hope stays with you, it is this: No chapter of our lives has the power to define the rest of our story. What matters most is the courage to keep going, and the belief that something better still lies ahead.”
The New York Rangers’ season is back in full swing. There have been highs, like Shesterkin’s goaltender goal, and lows, like Shesterkin’s recent injury putting him out of commission for the rest of the season. (We wish him a speedy and full recovery!)
Let’s be blunt— if an entire team depends on a goaltender, that is not a team. We saw how that dependence on Jonathan Quick played out last season. A goaltender can be supernatural, but the team has to play.
Emily Kaplan has swirled rumors that Jonathan Quick may be pulled out of retirement (he now works as Director of Goaltending Development for the Rangers, so he hasn’t gone far). And let’s be real— Quick played better than the entire team combined, last season. He is a LEGENDARY goaltender. Quick has swag and grit. He deserved a better last season.
Another rumor is the idea of Connor Hellebuyck. Hellebuyck is sitting in Michigan waiting to get traded. Will New York call?
Finally, there is Dylan Garand who has gone through the whole rollercoaster of emotions with this team in two weeks. Went from dispensable to critical, quick. Steve Valiquette called his performance a “mental” game of a victory. Here is a player who is sorting through all the questions and emotions, Valiquette said. #SteveWisdom
Garand has been classy in his interviews— respectful of Shesterkin and showing gratitude for the opportunity to play in the NHL— and he has gotten straight to work. Shesterkin was bending over backwards— getting injured in slow motion, and two seconds after his body hit that post (and a collective gasp was heard around the NHL world), Garand was doing those ice humping stretches with his gear on— ready to go in net.
Via Getty Images and NHL.com
This whole situation has reminded me of how Brandon Bussi stepped in for Frederik Andersen during the Carolina Hurricanes quest toward winning the Stanley Cup. People had doubts, but Bussi stepped up. He stepped up MAJOR. You know who didn’t have a doubt and had already planned on putting him in? Coach Brind’Amour.
I dislike Mike Sullivan and don’t find him half as competent (or likeable) as Rod Brind’Amour, but if he keeps Garand— he may be onto something. There is something to be said about finding fresh blood and giving them an opportunity to prove themselves. Because some players just need that crack in the door. Because sometimes, it’s through those moments of destiny that a star is born.
Let’s face it, many of the greatest athletes of all time were not first-round picks. They were scrawny kids with stars in their eyes that told people to remember their face and name because they were going to show the world an elite level of discipline and play never witnessed on planet earth (See Michael Jordan and Tom Brady). They were individuals with elite drive and determination who rose past limits with every opportunity granted. The greatest athletes of all time were names that were almost passed over, and today, they are names we will never forget.
Going to Hellebuyck is symbolic. Hellebuyck is a national symbol of excellence. Going to Quick is a safe guarantee that you will have the most elite American goalie to have touched MSG ice. Garand is a wild card. He may become a student of Quick’s who displays his same grit and swagger. He may match the complacency of the rest of the team for the past two seasons.
In recent interviews, Garand has, between the lines, invited the Rangers community to bet on him. I like a risk, and more than that, I like someone who says, Bet on me. In these bets, you have the possibility of ending up with something beyond your imagination. Even with my admiration for Hellebuyck and definitely Quick, I want to see what Dylan Garand is made of. I am rooting for this kid. I want to see him leave it all on the ice. I want to see him grow. I want to see what he can do and where he can take us.
He may have started as a rejected player on waivers (we’ve all been there in life, in some way or another). But he may end up being a name we’ll never forget. I want to see if he is undeniable like Bussi, Hellebuyck and Quick were. We’ll forgive him for being Canadian.
I am ready to see a Garand era. He has already had a NHL shutout. He is ready.
I finished reading Tish Harrison Warren’s book on resilience, What Grows in Weary Lands. It is a gem, as all her books are.
It had takeaways such as:
“But I can wait. I can keep going. The practices of our faith, acts of perseverance and trust that may feel futile, are at last the fragile kindling set ablaze by the Spirit, at just the right time. In the end, it all feeds the flame. In the end nothing will be wasted.”
“We, in the contemporary Western world, are rich in comforts and graces— modern medicine, entertainment at the push of a button, relative prosperity. But we are poor in meaning, in wisdom, in relationships, in community, in a sense of purpose.”
“Christians cannot truly be an alternative people— a witness to a different way of being in the world—if we simply have different beliefs than our neighbors but all the same digital habits and practices.”
One of my favorite takeaways was this idea of having the “duty of delight” in the midst of difficult moments. Intentionally seeking out the things that give us joy and comfort in difficult times or times where we feel God is silent. I want to carry this duty with me into this new week.
How can we fulfill and grow in our “duty of delight” this week?
We must go back to the places, both internally and externally, that taught us about the magic and wonder of life.
Yesterday, through a book, I went back to Lake Michigan. In photographs, I saw the sparkle of the lake that once captivated me as a child.
It reminded me of walking down toward the lake and starting to see it appear. It was a safe place for stillness, sometimes hard conversations, and the library was just beside it. Pure magic.
I am sitting here staring at my bag of baby Jesuses. I need to do better and distribute them.
The week went. Maybe it was the PMS, but it was a week of a wide range of emotions. You just feel everything amplified. The joy (petting alpacas) and the rage (people who will not be named).
I finished cleaning, and sorting my bookshelves, today. Dusting and rearranging the bookshelves reminded me of the extensive library housed in this large studio. I felt a wave of gratitude as I moved my books around. I was like, Look at all these marvelous books. How am I so fortunate? ✨
The week flew by, but also was intense. There were autumn days where I walked after lunch and just wanted to keep on walking. The air is feeling autumnal. I saw something by Kate Fuller that said “Fall is short, take the long way.” And I must agree. The season encourages the long way. You just want to spend every last minute in the golden light.
I finished Strangers, so I am detoxing that tragedy from my system. I am in the middle of Dorit’s and Tracy Tutor’s books. Both are good. Reading is ramping up because I have to try and beat my challenge goal.
I was cleaning out my desk this week, and I found some old business cards of mine. Not only is fall short— life is short. Take the long way. You just blink, and time flies. What autumn things are you doing? And more importantly, what are you reading?
Here are some of the favorites from the week:
“We begin to ask: what can you make with what remains? How do you respond to the life that’s actually there, and not just the thing you idealized and envisioned?” Rainier Wylde
“I spent fifty years of my life being in a hurry and didn’t know it.” Nick Saban (This one rattled me when I heard him say it on the podcast).
“Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.” Regina Brett, in her “50 Life Lessons” written during her 2006 battle with cancer
“We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” Anaïs Nin
Via Rose Florence
“I’ve always believed there’s something especially beautiful about the effort it takes to make things beautiful.” Paige Paul
I’m still up north, looking at the sunny spots on trees turn orange and eating a French onion soup grilled cheese.
This week’s song:
I always love when this comes on during my workout.
Sometimes, when I watch Dancing With the Stars, I speak to the dancers from our couch. I say things like “Let’s go, girl,” or “Okayyyy.”
Made me wonder— if there was an audience watching us right now, what would they say? If someone was watching you, what would they say? Would they tell you to go for it? Would they ask you to have courage? Would they applaud you? Would they want you to take a breath?
It’s going to be ok; rest; they can figure it out; finish that last chapter!! These are the things I think they would yell at me.
