When Oddity and Loneliness Hold Hands

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Let’s talk loneliness. Being alone can feel maddening at times. Why do you think people in solitary confinement end up with serious problems? New York City can sometimes feel like the loneliest place in the world. Sometimes, it is pointless to escape the white walls and fluorescent lamps of your studio for a bustling park where you sit on a bench with the same look on your face– the difference being, now, you have a squirrel next to you.

Loneliness makes people settle in relationships with shallow people. Loneliness can also be a school. It teaches you to know and be comfortable with yourself. This scares everyone else around you. It may even make the server at a restaurant give you a pity-filled look when you tell him or her you only need a table for one.

It’s strange how sometimes we really want to be alone; strange how despite this, we still want someone understanding us, sharing with us. Decisions are made more confidently when the plan is consulted with someone. There can be wisdom and power in numbers.

Is loneliness something we ever outgrow? What about that silence with oneself which is comfortable and peaceful, all at once; after all, being alone doesn’t mean lonely. Is it weird that we feel alone, even though we never really walk alone? 

“All great and precious things are lonely.”
― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Didn’t Jesus himself pray alone in the garden? Didn’t He bring three to keep watch, yet none prayed behind Him? 

‘Tis midnight, and on Olive’s brow
The star is dimmed that lately shone;
‘Tis midnight; in the garden now,
The suffering Savior prays alone.
‘Tis midnight, and from all removed
The Savior wrestles lone with fears;
E’en the disciple whom He loved
Heeds not his Master’s grief and tears.
– William B. Tappan

A.W. Tozer once wrote, “Most of the world’s great souls have been lonely…Enoch walked a path quite apart from his contemporaries.”

Tozer wrote in “The Saint Must Walk Alone” that perhaps spiritual people feel lonely because they are at odds with those around them.

“The truly spiritual man is indeed something of an oddity.” A.W. Tozer

The problem with some, he wrote, is they feel at home with the world, and they “lose their pilgrim character”. And so, as they try to fit in where they do not fit, they end up missing out on who they ought to be. Meanwhile, the rest of the world recognizes them for who they really are, someone who doesn’t fit.

This is not about pride or people thinking they are better than others. It is about a choice regarding life’s purpose, the seeking of truth, the desire to be different and care about others before oneself. This makes people peculiar, and it often makes others uncomfortable.

If being peculiar is what you desire, then, it’s okay to walk the path at odds with everyone else. Priorities require sacrifice. But always remember, the Greatest One walked alone so you wouldn’t have to.

God says:

/When you walk down the road
Heavy burden, heavy load
I will rise and I will walk with you

When you walk through the night
And you feel like you wanna just give up, give up, give up on the fight
I will come and I will walk with you

Walk with you
Until the sun don’t even shine
Walk with you
I’ll be there all the time
I tell you I’ll walk with you
See you through

When you walk from this place
And you gotta go to meet Him face to face
Take my hand and I will walk with you

Oh, oh walk with you
Till the clouds fade away
I tell you I ‘ll walk with you
Each and every day
Oh yes I’ll walk with you

Oh, oh oh when nobody cares
I’ll be right there by your side
If all your hope is lost
I’m the one that’s gonna help you see the light
Just look into my eyes
Please know you’re not alone
I’m here, I’m here by your side

Walk with you
I’ll be there all the time, I’m gonna walk with you
Walk with you
I’ll be there until the clouds just fade away
Walk with you
I’ll be there every day, every day, every day, every day
Walk with you
I’ll be with you all the while
Walk with you
Be right there through the longest mile

Walk with you
I will walk with you yes I will, yes I will, yes I will, I will
Walk with you
I will walk with you
I tell you I’ll be there and I will
Walk with you
Believe me I’ll be there and I’ll walk with you, yes I will/

I Will Walk With You, Della Reese

As heard on “Lessons We Can Learn From Royalty” by Ravi Zacharias

“If men could learn from history, what lessons it might teach us. But passion and party blind our eyes, and the light which experience gives us is a lantern on the stern, which shines only on the waves behind us.” Samuel Taylor Coleridge 

The Puerto Rican Dream

By: Gabriela Yareliz
By: Gabriela Yareliz

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It was early morning, and the sun hadn’t infiltrated the land in shadows below the midtown skyscrapers. Forty-second street to forty-ninth street was barricaded for no entry. I was passing Lord & Taylor, when I decided I would go in to use the restroom (the things that happen when you juice in the morning). When I walked in (with my sunglasses on), I failed to notice it was dark. There were chairs out for some makeup presentation. The guard stopped me as I was starting to walk toward the escalator. After my bathroom mission failed dramatically, I met up with groups of people in Puerto Rico jerseys and some wore the flag like a cape.

I was fortunate to meet a family. They were kind enough to let me stand “front row” with them (they had gotten to their spot at 6 a.m.). I chatted with the grandmother, abuela, of the family. The whole family had purple-red hair, slicked back and gelled into tight ponytails that induced a headache just by looking at them.

After the cops promised not to move the railing to let people in, in front of us, they lied and moved the rail. The entire family started throwing its belongings over our rail to the other area that would be the new “front row” area. I was going to stay where I was until the grandmother hurled herself over the railing and encouraged me to do the same. I looked at the police, who proved to be liars in that instance, and decided to join the family that had adopted me.

The area filled in quickly. At this parade, unlike the other cultural parades I have attended, people arrived half-naked. Crop tops, sports bras, shorts and mini skirts that seemed to be cheap (not because of the material but because of the lack of material). Women let cleavage show (no matter what the age) and even un-toned stomachs were flaunted without shame. The rule is: If you got it, show it. It doesn’t matter what it looks like. There is no demand for perfection. In fact, perfection is defined as a plush body, a full body, a displayed body. Men figured this was a good time as any to display their tattoos and tanned biceps.

Older men behind us sat on coolers and tried lighting cigars until an older woman beside me told them God would punish them by having the NYPD write them a ticket for smoking. How dare they smoke when there are kids around, she yelled. Later, I glanced at her phone while she swiped through her own photos. There was a photo of her with a cigar in her mouth. I didn’t have enough time to roll my eyes at the irony because a woman next to me, with her back turned to me was arguing with a co-worker on the phone, and like a good Latina, metia al fin, I decided to listen in.

“I can’t f—ing breathe. I am not comin’ to work–I am on my death bed and I can’t breathe right. So how dare you? F— you. I can’t breathe,” she said pausing. Then she looked up at the passing float and asked “Is that Luis Fonsi? Oh my gosh!” So much for pretending not to be at the parade. Mind you, there was music being blasted and people screaming and blowing horns. And she was on her death bed.

My attention was then drawn to the fact that I was crushed against the railing of the barricade (on my own death bed?) because a large man was trying to get his hands on a CD. He was leaning forward (crushing me) and insulting the man distributing the cheap demos, as if the insults would somehow draw the CD supplier with love and kindness to him. While I tried to turn around to face the annoying man to show him my angry glare, the old lady next to me seemed to be confused.

Her daughter kept telling her, “Mami, that is your favorite! Maria Celeste Arraras.” I looked up at the float and saw Maria Celeste with the Puerto Rican flag and a dress that spelled BLING-FABULOUS. I smiled as I saw the journalist I grew up watching on Primer Impacto. Two minutes later, the old lady turned around and asked where the journalist was. Her daughter was frustrated, “Mami, you didn’t see her? She was right there!” The old lady looked at me. I nodded in solidarity with the daughter. The old lady shrugged and smiled. Happy oblivion.

Some boxers walked by, making hooks and jabs at TV cameras. Show-offs. The parade had probably a thousand dancers, about 20 pageant winners from different places with tiaras and ridiculously high heels. One girl had a dress so short I could see things I didn’t want to see. She was walking as if twisting her ankles every other step. Only in a Puerto Rican parade do women decide to walk a good 30 blocks or so in heels that are 6-7 inches tall.

Rene, of Calle 13, was being honored as “king” of the parade. I feel like many did not notice when he walked by. People seemed oblivious in many parts of the parade. For example, there were parts of the parade that had no music. However, there was one part where a classy youth orchestra was playing what seemed like beautiful music. I can’t say for sure because people kept blowing their horns (the annoying horns used at graduations). Why couldn’t they let the music be heard?

The parade had its solemn moments. Latino officers from the NYPD marched. Also, in effigy, there was a representation of Puerto Rican intellectuals, judges and accomplished people. GOYA’s float was glittery and gold; one of the nicer floats. If it’s GOYA it has to be good. 😉

There was a skinny boy who looked half his age with over-plucked eyebrows and a P.R. bandana who would get interviewed by passing journalists because they thought he was small and adorable. His mom introduced a “friend” from work to her mom who did not seem amused to meet the man. This “friend” kept trying to cozy-up with her in the most awkward way. Her mother was fuming, and when she’d get really angry, she would start talking to me and start taking selfies. In the “friend’s” defense, he was caring with the little girl with us. He fanned her and tried to give her shade in the grueling heat.

I stood on Fifth Avenue for about three to four hours.

The Puerto Rican Day Parade probably had a million or more spectators. We lined Fifth Ave. like it was nobody’s business. The flag was everywhere. There were about three flags per person, not counting flag rings, flag earrings, flag bandanas, flag hats, flag jerseys and flag capes. Even though there were a lot of us, each block, each railed off section was a world, a family; and like good Puerto Ricans, we were all up in each other’s business.

The day was hot, like the passion inside of us. Standing there was like being surrounded by family, strangely. There is just something familiar about the way a Puerto Rican mother yells at her kid to get off the barricade so he won’t fall and “break his face.” She would yell the typical, “If you fall and break your teeth, I will finish it off because you are not listening to me!” Yeah. We all remember being told that. That is why we connect. No one looks at the mother like she is a child abuser (something many Americans would do because they often don’t understand the dynamic of a Latin mother). No, instead, we all look at the kid like, “You better listen to your madre or you’ll deserve what comes to you.”

This is why, maybe no matter how “global citizen” we may be, there is always a special connection to home.

For us, Puerto Ricans, I truly believe that when the beat drops, the heart synchronizes with the music that mixes with our blood like a drug; and we are one people; under one flag; with one star.

Late Spring Picks, 2014


My anthem. Life is about knowing your purpose and not giving up as you walk in the direction of your dreams.

Hello dear readers,

It’s summer in New York! The tree pollen today almost killed me, but all is well. Or should I say, “Alll izzz well”?

It has been so long. I know. I am sorry. It was a whirlwind of a season, filled with exams, a lovely and restful visit home and a new season of work.

I pulled together some things I had saved as drafts a while back and compiled them into this post in an effort to “catch up”…

I am a year older now. With that comes a new effort to be more professional, meaning more mature and put together, I suppose. It’s not always easy, but it’s part of life. We grow. Life is easier when we are honest about who we are and when we have a sense of humor, but growing always hurts a little.

There is so much in the world that can make us all copies, but what truly makes us unique is our souls. That is why I think taking care of our souls, like a garden, is so important.

Life can get hectic. Life brings its trials. There are people to gain respect from and floods of information to deal with. Sometimes, it feels like you’ve been hit by a fire hose. It really makes you live your life, moment to moment, praying for wisdom and the strength and skill to do what you need to do.

A constant reliance on God.

I’m learning about guarding my heart. Sometimes, we think of guarding our hearts in regards to romance or purity only, but I think this can also apply to guarding our hearts from tension, stress and oftentimes even people who may not want all you have to offer, even in friendship or simple advice. A balance between being there for people but also not pouring all your energies into other’s problems that they could solve if they cared enough to solve them.

It’s been a season of blessings. Life is always beautiful as it continues to unfold, and God continues to speak to us in different ways. He ALWAYS lets us know He is watching us, and we are never alone. Of this I am sure.

Below are some people, photos, songs and things that evoked a certain feeling or inspired me in a special way in the past couple of weeks.

Be inspired. Be you.

May each day be a constant growth and improvement. May each day be a new experience of trusting in God. May each day be a day of blessing.

Take care of yourself. Laugh. Love. Extend your hand beyond yourself.

XOXO,
GY

PS. The post is a bit long. There are great videos and photos. Hope you enjoy!

1] Let’s start with a manifesto
Clinique hit the ball out of the park with this video/ad. I saw it, and it was what I needed in that moment.
Let’s call it the “I Will” Manifesto.

2]
A new memoir by Hillary R. Clinton, Hard Choices
Her first memoir was so fantastic; here is part II. She will be at the Union Square Barnes & Noble, June 10, for book signing.

3]
The best of Cannes 2014 (and some flashbacks)

The video really sums up this year’s magic. I look forward to L’Oreal’s looks and ambassadors each year at the most glamorous red carpet in the world.

The looks:

Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds. A sharp couple. They had everyone’s jaws dropping every night.
Marion Cotillard, Cannes 2014
http://www.harpersbazaar.com
Sonam Kapoor, Cannes 2014
Aishwarya Rai, Cannes 2014.
She said, “I’M BACK!”
Leila Bekhti, Closing Ceremony, Cannes 2012
Leila Bekhti and Sonam Kapoor Cannes 2014 for L’Oreal

4]
Marion Cotillard is brilliance

5]
Amal Alamuddin, international lawyer and fiancée to George Clooney. Powerhouse woman.

6]

Dr. L and Dr. C always make me smile.

Because that season finale made EVERYONE scream.

I love this song, and I love the clips.

Being in love seems like magic. A strange stability. It’s like your heart never stops racing. It’s like your eyes turn to fire. It’s peace and curiosity mixed in one. It’s like water poured into a cup that is already full, which makes it spill over.

7]
Tal is such a fantastic artist. One of my favorites. Always bold; always inspiring; always direct; always blessed.
Maintenant ou Jamais–Now or Never.

8]
Vogue India’s piece on Ricken Patel’s Avaaz was interesting. Avaaz means voice in several European, Middle Eastern and Asian languages. Check it out, and join the civic engagement. Join a cause, or start one of your own.

Mind Games

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Sometimes, we need to let go of all that is bad to be able to embrace the good to come.

Sometimes, we don’t realize that choices are in our hands.

It’s about deciding what you want and making choices that bring you that much closer.

It’s about deciding you want something more than you are afraid.

Most important, it’s about you making up your mind and walking in that direction;

even if you walk alone…for a little while.

A New Beginning

Image

Photo by: Gabriela Yareliz

By: Gabriela Yareliz

There are some who say they hate writing. Writing is a discipline. Writing can be messy, and you can end up with ink silhouetting what looks like a blue or black bruise on the side of your hand. Writing takes thought. Writing can take you to unexpected places. Writing is never perfect in the first attempt. Writing well requires work. Life is just like that.

We are all writers; while we live our lives, we write.

Each person has his or her story.
I believe there is a good God who providentially has plans for our lives, but when we make our choices in our free will, when we choose whether we want to live out that plan, we have a pen in our hands. Some things we choose have serious consequences, and they are permanent–this is when we write in pen. Then, there is God’s forgiveness and second chances; this is where a divine eraser and a little more paper shows up on the scene.

Todos somos escritores, mientras vivimos, escribimos.

We often make plans; outfit plans (we iron ahead of time), dinner plans (we make reservations), outings with friends (we separate that time on our calendar), and we have a vision for how we want things to go or even how we want them to look.

It’s important we have an idea of how we want our lives to look; what we want people to see; what we want for ourselves; what we want to give to others. We should have a vision of ourselves, knowing God has our maximum potential in mind.

The semester ended, but as someone wise once said: There are no endings, only new beginnings. New beginnings are lovely. The best new beginnings are the mature, committed, focused and exciting.

A new summer is in front of us. It’s a time to grow in knowledge, experience, and also in maturity and professionalism.

It’s a time to make a mark but to also grow into the adult envisioned.

It’s okay to leave room for providence to surprise us. After all, when a writer writes, sometimes things go into an unexpected direction and unravel by themselves. It’s lovely to allow life to unfold around us as we continue on our journey.

Have a vision, expect miracles, smile at the unexpected, and don’t forget to laugh.

As the summer begins, decide to actively write your story and fulfill your passion, your destiny.

Write with flair. Write in bold. Write big. Write uniquely. Write with vision. Write, continually improving. Write with purpose. Write making magic. Write taking risks. Write without fearing realities. Don’t let anyone write for you.

In journalism school, I often heard that no one likes to write, we just like it when it’s done. I think the happiest writers are the ones who feel satisfaction as they write and see the whole process as a joy. Live with vision, enjoying every step.

As Ernest Hemingway wrote: “You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.”

Write the truest sentence with your life.

Nuestro pequeño mundo de arena y sal

XXVI

Islas

Caminar por la arena
cuando apenas está hollada
es como descubrir el mundo
por primera vez: todo es
nuevo y puro y frágil
como la luz que nos cubre
y rendidos ante ella
no dejamos de ser
sino islas de un archipiélago:
cada una con su identidad
pero cada una perdida
en la vasta quietud
de la inmensidad
que nos es desconocida

Aislados por las olas
nuestro pequeño mundo
de arena y sal no es suficiente
carece del sabor y olor a vida
de las azules conversaciones
con extraños y del gesto imprevisto
del descubrimiento: apenas
una pequeña fortaleza
austera, sitiada por el tiempo
hasta caer

Viajar entre las islas resulta
así el don de vida;
volver la vista
tras hollar la playa,
la leve hoja escrita
de nuestro fugaz existir.

Luis Pablo Núñez, Luz, Light, Licht

¿Sera que nos da miedo quedar en el olvido? ¿Sera por esa razón que buscamos grandeza? Queremos ser como los personajes de la historia, en libros intelectuales y libros sagrados; sus historias grabadas para siempre– para bien ó para mal… -Gabriela Yareliz