Reflections Before Bedtime #62

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Sometimes, the simplest thing has the most profound meaning to a person. Everyone has a favorite candy, no? Mine is the M&Ms with peanuts. You know, the yellow bag.

People who sat next to me in my law school clinic knew that if they saw a yellow M&M bag with a bag of Ruffles chips, I was eating comfort food. And they knew I would share.

I remember a long time ago, when my father was in a weird stage of coming and going– before he left completely– sometimes, before he left on his mysterious excursions, he would ask me if I wanted anything from the outside world. I would usually be on the couch, in my pajamas, with my diary or a good book in my lap.

I remember that one night I told him I wanted M&Ms. “Regular? Or Peanuts?” he asked me. “Peanuts,” I answered. It became a thing, a routine, if you will.

I remember staying up waiting for him. There were times that he would come home late and simply toss the bulky yellow M&M bag at me without saying a word.

That bag of M&Ms was more than just candy. It was like assurance that he would come back home.

M&Ms with peanuts are a comfort food. A symbol of hope, relief and safety, to me.

You see, there came a day when he chose to leave for good. People do that. But God never does. He promised in Matthew 28:20 that He is with us, always.

I had a rough week. It ended well, by God’s grace. Today, I passed a newsstand and saw a stack of yellow peanut M&M bags. God stays. He never leaves. He continually shows us that He is not holding out on us. He is not deciding whether we are good enough. He is not weighing our worth. In fact, there is no place He would rather be than with you. With us. Emmanuel means God with us.

I don’t know if someday, a person will hand me a yellow bag of peanut M&Ms, and I will be sure that person won’t leave. Maybe. Maybe not. I hope I will meet people who are serious about staying in my life. That is rare, these days. And not everyone is meant to stay, but the ones who do are not regular, they are special peanut M&Ms. What I am sure of is a God who has proven to be faithful. If you want to see what I mean, ask Him to show you.

We don’t want what is regular. We weren’t created for regular. We want the peanut ones. Thank you.

Published by Gabriela Yareliz

Gabriela is a writer, editor and attorney. She loves the art of storytelling, and she is based in NYC.

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