By: Gabriela Yareliz
A few days ago, Audrey Leighton was talking about the book she was reading called Motherhood. It’s a book called “a masterpiece on the moral conundrum involved in the decision to create new life” (Vulture and London Review of Books). I haven’t started reading it, but I am sure I will share about it once I do.
The current pushes toward vaccination and the many honest and natural question marks surrounding the effects it will have on fertility (that can only be known over time, logically) have brought this idea of motherhood to the forefront for many who don’t want to potentially screw around with their fertility.
I just recently started watching Parenthood with my boyfriend, which is excellent and predictable (but predictable in all the best ways– like a good script would of course go in that direction). I really am enjoying the show (still in season 1). I must be annoying to watch with because I am constantly psychoanalyzing every character. But as I have been watching, and as I have been thinking about all these things while simultaneously getting older, I’ve realized just how deeply I would like to be a parent someday. I don’t think it has ever hit me so hard. It’s weird because I think society is getting twistier, and I am not sure I like the direction we are headed in (to say it nicely). I suppose the societal screams to conformity have always been there, though. Sadly, conformity these days deals less with values and more with bandwagon confusion. Regardless, I would be thrilled to be able to steward a life.
In this process of realizing how deep-set this desire is, I have also realized that I have actually invested in the lives of a lot of children. As I watch dynamics and analyze interactions of children and their parents whether on the tv screen or off, I realize all those years teaching and working with children at the church and helping out with my brothers has taught me a lot. I learned a lot from my own parents, who were great, and also, from other’s children. I know what it’s like to care about someone as if they were your own because they really are in your heart. I feel really lucky to have had a hardcore training ground. As I pray to hopefully have one of my own, someday, I do know something else– parenthood is much deeper than DNA or bringing a life into this world. While pregnancy brings a special gift and connection with it that I want to experience myself, I also recognize that parenthood is really less about bringing the life and more about teaching that life about life and how to be the very best he/she can be. I’ve been really lucky to help children with that, over the years, and I treasure that deeply. Even now, years later. Especially now.