I am writing this with Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl” playing in the background. They don’t match, but they do. Nostalgia being the unifying factor.
It’s Super Bowl Sunday, and while I never regularly watched football as a kid, I did watch the Super Bowls. Usually, it entailed a party with church people around. We would play outside, eat chips with everything (nacho style, salsa, haystacks). It was a vibe. I’d arbitrarily pick a team and bleed their colors for the day. I would pick my outfit carefully.
They say you shouldn’t romanticize the past, but it’s hard not to do when you grew up in a golden era of prosperity and entertainment like I did, steeped in Americana and living in neighborhoods that looked like something out of Disney Channel shows. Yep, I was that lucky.
I am here blasting American and UK oldies, wondering what it will take to go back to the values and general vibe of the time. (It’s an amazing distraction from the last heavy lifts in something I am planning and coordinating).
I was chatting the other day with friends (very passionately), about what New Yorkers always projected in the past. I had never been to NYC, but I knew it was tough. It had grit and glamour and more than anything– opportunity. It was a mecca of creativity and taboo. It was Studio 54, Serendipity and Friends. Now, people cry if you look at them the wrong way (or they stab you). Neither being ideal. People who don’t respect property rights destroy instead of building something for themselves.
We drown in conversations about diversity and inclusion, and find any reason to exclude someone and make them morally reprehensible. Everything is polarized. I had listened to a podcast with Jordan Belfort (aka The Wolf of Wall Street). And while I am not down with the nonexistence of sexual harassment and drug insanity, the America he describes sounds like a dream. I kind of wish I could have a peek at that as an adult. His description reminds me of the show Just Shoot Me!. I think that show was the end of the era. I was only a kid, but man, so much has changed so fast.
I also remember the not so idyllic aspects of the past. When you were a minority, you really felt like one. Everything was created for one type of person, with few exceptions. I’ve been reading a book, Nation of Victims, that discusses how we stayed there. We haven’t recovered from the things that divided us.
The author, Vivek Ramaswamy, discusses how case law brought us to an odd place with the Constitution and how the courts made it so you could only have a response to something that was wrong by fitting into a victim scheme, with many boxes to check. Boxes many have checked in the past, and now, boxes many try to check, one recent example is the LGBTQ+ community.
We have created a system where you don’t just get redress if you have been wronged no matter who you are, but you get redress if you have been a victim under the prongs of the law. Then, there is the past, which many find hard to let go of. I have heard even people close to me describe groups of people different than them with disdain almost making it seem like several negative experiences in the past with a member of this group equals the fact that every member of this group is the same.
I have heard it go in every direction. Against minorities, against whites, against all groups– you name it. For many people of color, this reads almost like a revenge era. Make ’em pay, seems to be the MO. People who were never slaves want reparations from people who never owned a slave. We love to focus on what makes us different, and differences make us stronger. But we have weaponized them and made it so that they make us divided.
We often forget we hold several common identities which should bridge the gaps and override the differences that make us interesting and add spice to the soup. We are members of the same human family (we are all in the same damn soup), and in this country, we are Americans. We’ve forgotten that common identity. We don’t cherish or value it. We trash it like entitled and spoiled people who truly don’t appreciate the abundance and wealth we have been entrusted with.
I wonder when being American will be enough for us as a country. We come from a country that is unique from all others. One of grit, fight, wealth, opportunity and most importantly, freedom. We love excess. We love drama. We hold more diversity than anywhere else in people and state. We are the country of Blink-182, Martin Luther King Jr., football, The OC, a country where people of every faith get to worship, and a country where MTV Spring Breaks were everything. Our wild, underdog culture that shrieks of youth has power– that is why it has had the greatest influence over the entire planet (from financial markets to clothes to music to makeup to television).
All the small things…
I hope that as people come together to laugh at and rank commercials, to root for their teams (rooting for the 49ers, personally), to roll their eyes at Taylor Swift– I hope we can come together to celebrate something that has always brought us together– our flag, our sport, and our insane halftime show (Usher will give us the dose of nostalgia the doctor prescribed).
I hope that rather than this insane victim mentality that has infected us, that we can embrace the gritty, resilient striving American spirit. We are the culture that tackles to win.
I had a recent conversation with a friend who told me she was not cut out for the capitalist system. She is European (and lives in her country); incredibly feminine and a classical beauty. She sings like a virtuosa and loves laying in hammocks in the woods. Her corporate job is taking a toll on her. I feel her to a certain extent. I also think it’s her beautiful feminine energy that makes this so draining for her.
And in my response, it was clear we were not cut from the same cloth. We had grown up in entirely different cultures and governments. In fact, in my response to her about what made my own job challenging, I realized it was often the people who thought like her.
We have come to a place where we want to be saved. We are all victims of our own lives and choices. We want something for nothing. But that just ain’t it.
Without the striving and adventure, what is life for then? I asked rhetorically. But she can daydream of socialism and their own “good ole days”. Back to this country– people want to abdicate responsibility, creativity and innovation for corruption, bitterness, safety and envy.
I haven’t met a successful person here who would be where they are without the American system and dream (even if they criticize it). For example, Bernie Sanders wouldn’t be as wealthy as he is or have the compound he has if he lived in socialism. Bernie Sanders is a hardcore capitalist no matter what he says, because look at his life. Look at what he has. The ideology he spouts inspires the uninspired. All these systems that thrive off a victim narrative, they lead to loss.
It’s time we “man up” as a country. (Speaking of… where are all the men?)
I leave you with the words of Vivek Ramaswamy:
“The Union can only stay intact this time, and perhaps should only stay intact, if Americans come to see themselves as fellow citizens rather than each other’s victims.”
How do we look at our neighbor? The one who is like us? The one who is different from us? When will we start acting like a band of brothers instead of enemies in competition to misery.
This American girl has high hopes for a nation of citizens not victims. Let’s go watch the most expensive commericals and sweaty men slam into each other. America, people. America.
I leave you with this jam that gives me all the feels. It reminds me of being a kid in the backseat of a car, seeing this amazing country flash through the windows, coming at me fast, strong, blessed.
God bless America. And go, 49ers!
GABRIELA YARELIZ 