“The clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn’t agreeing with someone. It’s enjoying your disagreements with them. (…) Creative tension makes beautiful music.” Adam Grant
By: Gabriela Yareliz
One of the things that makes Frasier such an amazing show are the arguments between the Crane brothers, Frasier and Niles. The writers always nail it. They have deep fights, petty fights, hilarious fights, misunderstood fights— but they never back down from a fight.
What is always evident is that despite the competitive nature of the Crane brothers, they love each other and really respect each other.
In our people pleasing ways, we often think that a sign of respect is agreeableness and submission. When the truth is, knowing how to disagree is a much richer skill. Taking the time and energy to disagree signals to someone that you care.
“When I argue with someone, it’s not a display of disrespect— it’s a sign of respect. It means I value their views enough to contest them.” Adam Grant
You know what they say— couples that don’t take the time to disagree just don’t care anymore. It think this is true in all relationships, including the nonromantic.
“Honest argument is merely a process of mutually picking the beams and motes out of each other’s eyes so both can see clearly.” Wilbur Wright
Rather than showing restraint in the things that matter, hopefully, we develop the courage and skill to disagree. As Adam Grant says, it’s the “clearest sign of intellectual chemistry.” We’ll call it “Crane Chemistry.”
GABRIELA YARELIZ 