Dreamer DNA

“Keepers of private notebooks are a different breed altogether, lonely and resistant rearrangers of things, anxious malcontents, children afflicted apparently at birth with some presentiment of loss.” Joan Didion, Slouching Towards Bethlehem

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I saw this Didion quote, and I know there is truth to it. As a kid, I would write 15 pages a day in my diary. I would plop myself onto the couch or be lying in bed on my stomach swinging my bent legs scribbling down my thoughts and happenings. It was a *thing* for me. I do think I carried a sense of loss with me, even if it was superficial— I left behind a lot of people, places, familiarity— constantly.

The other day, I was remembering all the colleges I wanted to go to as a kid. Every state we lived in, I pinned my hopes on going to that one school (Michigan State, The Ohio State, etc., etc.). That was until I didn’t. When it actually came time to apply to college, I was far from every college I had dreamed of before. It just sort of happened. (By the way, I would never trade my time at the University of Florida for any other school (even an Ivy League). It was the absolute best).

As my birthday approaches this year, I have been thinking a lot about the way those two things sort of have to stay alive in us— the things we dream about and the stuff we allow to unfold as life surprises us.

When I went to law school, I knew something big would happen this year. I planned for it. This is the last year for me for something I had looked forward to since 2011, and now, it’s here. (Thank God). It sort of starts to feel like it’s time to dream up next chapters or at least envision them, while leaving space for awesome serendipity and providence in life.

Endings invite us to dream of other beginnings and transitions. My point is dreaming doesn’t end when we are kids scribbling into notebooks and playing M*A*S*H. Be like that ad with the Emu. Be a dreamer.

Every new season— hell, every new day invites us to dream again. Take it from someone who adjusted her dreams a zillion times in every category— it’s time to dream. Dream and leave space for the surprises.

I’ll be here, scribbling into my notebooks. And I am here scribbling into this post: don’t forget you have dreamer DNA.