This is a shallow report… brace yourself.
By: Gabriela Yareliz
Listen, we can talk about how Carolina brought game. They beat the VGK with the Staal goal and the wild Ehlers empty-netter from the other side’s boards. Rod Brind’Amour was wide-eyed, and Dominique Ducharme for VGK, with the white hair and beard, had crazy eyes during the timeout. That should have been a sign. I was happy nothing went into overtime.
We are going to get shallow today— and no, I will not talk about Tortorella’s tan or Brind’Amour’s jawline that can cut glass, but we are pivoting to our lovely presenters.
Emily Kaplan was sabotaged again. Her blazer matched her hair color— a hair color that favors her less than the blonde and auburn she has sported in the past. ESPN needs to get it together.
Let’s talk the Subbanator— P.K. Subban. Brother has been wearing some wild stuff over the years. And this year is no exception.
PK is known for his flamboyance and bold statements. He wears unique things as if they are a normal white t-shirt.
That pink outfit from earlier in the series was iconic.
Yesterday’s outfit has me doing a double take. His pants were so high waisted I thought it was a skirt for a second. Some people said it was Aladdin. I don’t know what that was, but those pants were up to his nipples, and then, he had that one collar that was color blocked.
The reposts and commentary were hilarious.
Listen— I heard a fitness instructor today say that women’s confidence suffers in the summer due to how they look in a bathing suit. She said to channel the confidence of a “mediocre man who hasn’t worked out since 2017.” This man, she said, is having the time of his life, half naked at the beach. Women put too much pressure on themselves.
I, for one, do not want the confidence of a “mediocre man.” Because that is just delusion not confidence. Confidence is earned. I want PK Subban’s confidence. It’s a boldness that makes jaws drop and makes question marks emerge over people’s heads.
Emily’s stylist needs to take notes.
I want the wear the curtain pattern, wear the faux fur, wear the sunglasses, wear the couch material outfit— top and bottom, wear the collar, wear the high waisted bottoms, wear the big sleeves— that kind of confidence.
May we all rip a page out of PK’s book.
We’ll see if the east coast sweeps game five. And more importantly, we’ll see what PK Subban decides to wear (while Messier attempts to maintain a serious expression).
GABRIELA YARELIZ 