Princess vs. Feminist

Which one should win out?

By: Gabriela Yareliz Gonzalez

I once heard a story about newlyweds, a man who said he’d get the living room packed up and moved and she wouldn’t have to move a finger. The next day came and he got tied up in something and asked for her help moving coffee table before the movers came. His wife refused. She said he had told her she wouldn’t have to move a finger and she seemed distressed at the thought that he’d break his “word”.

The story made me sick, her reaction deeply irritated me- I mean what was wrong with that woman? In my opinion any sane woman would have bent over and helped her husband move the table. You see in my eyes there are two types of women: the Princess and the Feminist; the one who sits around, the one who does it all, the dependant one and the independent one. Which one is better and why? Could you be both?

Today’s society is broken in two opinions, often times we see the woman on television, the TV wife, who is the brain of the household, yet strangely dependent on her what they make to be inutile husband. Then there’s the woman who studies say today is not getting married and pursuing a career.

There’s the woman who always has expectations and the one ready to make do with whatever comes. There’s the insecure, jealous and manipulative woman and then there’s the confident, outspoken, and feisty woman. Neither sounds good does it…however we can each probably identify with one.

The Princess:

–  A woman’s need for man is not wrong, we were created this way, yet she tends to drain the male figure, she is expectant and needy.

– If something difficult like changing a tire comes her way some day, she can’t do it, and has no interest to.

– She is not someone you want to face adversity with, she’ll probably just complain

– She is very feminine and can be traditional

The Feminist:

-She can devalue masculinity because she feels she is self-sufficient

-She pursues what she wants, she is driven and determined

-She’d rather do things herself and get something done.

-Can be daring, and test limits.

                I believe it’s important to be a mixture of both, not someone oppressed but not outrageously liberated. Good things come in balance-which is hard to obtain, but is worth the effort. I also believe men play a big part in what women are becoming. If they are feeding into what society dictates that they are, animalistic, lazy and dumb, there are going to be women unwilling to submit to that . With men leaving homes, and abandoning wives, women must step up to the plate and survive. A woman’s independence can hurt a male’s masculinity, which is where the feminist mind set becomes a problem; because women do need men (the same is true the other way around).  A strong woman is a marvelous thing yet she should know she has her place. Being driven is important but a woman has a greater mission-to have a family and care for it. Women should learn to do things that are needs, but be willing to accept the help when offered.

                This balance comes wrapped into a one woman-

  The Virtuous:

-she is trustworthy and honoring of her husband and male figures

-efficient and driven

-caring and wise

-feminine

                This woman is one who is priceless and is the woman described in Proverbs 31. She is virtuous and is efficient and caring in all of her ways. She strives, she is dependent, and is wise. She is the woman who understands where she stands in comparison to the man in her life (and serves as a contrast and compliment), and as he leads she follows and helps.

                So that is what we must be, we must tap into the inner princess yet also be strong enough to survive. We must be honorable women and live up to the word, and most importantly forget what society says we are or should be and be ourselves in the place God intended us to hold.

Battles of Control

The tricks we try and how they can fail.

By: Gabriela Yareliz Gonzalez

        This past Christmas season, I was in terror at the thought of the mall. It wasn’t the overload of people or the uncertainty of certain purchases; it was the group of aggressive sale merchants that linger between stores sometimes stalking you into the Anne Taylor store just so they can rub their special lotion on your hands. I’ve seen them argue with older women about how these elderly women didn’t buy their products and they insist the older women tell them which ones as if these women are liars and have to prove something so they won’t be further harassed. I’ve also seen them try to negotiate deals no matter what amount of money you have on you- it’s like Israel sent a shipment of good looking annoying people to go to every mall in America and sell their products in the hallway booths.

                So how do you get by these aggressive Israeli merchants when they’ll grab you by the hand and talk to you until you no longer know how you ended up there? Well I’ve discovered that the cell phone trick always works. When you walk by, call someone in your network (so it’s free), perfect time to get back in touch with old friends, or flip your phone open and act like you are texting (if you don’t have texting). If you are on your phone they don’t bother you.

        Someone once told me that the cell phone trick wasn’t that great because it was giving them “control”. He suggested (based on how he handles situations of social awkwardness) that one should walk by and look them straight in the eye, even if they think you’ll stop and walk past them. If they say anything say a curt “no” and walk away. This is the way you show you are in control. I myself would rather avoid any sort of misunderstanding or awkwardness (especially if you frequent the mall often and must face these people regularly). Either way, how you handle this battle of control is up to you.

        I knew I had lost all control the minute I was sitting in a chair in the middle of the mall getting my hair straightened by a good looking simpatico Israeli guy who was talking to me about the features of the beauty wonder while avoiding conversation about pricing. Sometimes we win, sometimes we fail. I mean, getting my hair straightened was better than getting two nails filed on my hand and having them be shiny for two weeks (previous trauma from nail booth). Either way, if you aren’t going to buy anything, make eye contact or don’t make eye contact, whip out your cell phone or keep it in your pocket-just walk away.

Autumn

Cold and wet early one morning,
when one walked it was
through mists and fog,
the wind,compassionless.
A blustering autumn day.
Walking past old brick buildings,
decored with iron railings and dim lamp posts that flicker
if one looked,
one would realize one was standing in the midst of an end-
Golden wet leaves quivered on invisible strings to
their pathetic little tree branches,
pine needles carpeted the grass
who awaits to turn yellow and dry.
Silence.
Everything is falling into a deep sleep. Dying.
Everything must die, it must go through the pain,
it must let go, it must fall…and still it radiates beauty.

So winter can disguise the death, and prepare a new beginning.

-Gabriela Yareliz Gonzalez