Not the Same

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Sometimes, life takes twists and turns that bring back emotions and thoughts that used to follow us around. We are triggered (for lack of a better word). We are like, this again?

It happens. We are human. Internal safety has been a concept I have been exploring through my coaching program (God bless our partners who sit and watch us while we drudge up all the childhood stuff and go through our emotions and processing— we hold space for each other). Internal safety has been a weakness of mine. I truly believe it is a human weakness (whether you acknowledge and work on it or not). This is why we act and react the way we do. Looking back, there were moments of a lot of uncertainty where I tried to control and calculate as a coping mechanism because of how out-of-control life felt. 

I avoided a specific coaching teaching video on this topic, as one stupidly does with weaknesses. I listened to it recently (I relented. Its unwatched status was haunting me as someone who must clear every notification). It was eye-opening. I wanted to share this one insight for anyone who feels like life is filled with uncertainty, at the moment, or you feel like it’s déjà vu and you find yourself in a familiar circumstance or cycle.

There are times where things will have us being back in familiar thoughts or emotions. We will feel filled with fear. But, Dr. Edie always reminds us that we are people of love, not fear.

Recently, one thing that dawned on me as I imperfectly processed familiar unpleasant emotions and thoughts was that circumstances may be familiar (welcome back), but the difference is, while the circumstances may be familiar, you aren’t the same person. You are stronger, more resilient, you have a choice, and you are safe. You are in a metamorphosis.

This is something we have to keep coming back to. I hope this helps those processing the, at times, repeat unpleasantness of life, grief or loss. 

Remember that you are a person of love. Remember God is with you. Remember that when life feels like a repeating nightmare track (and it does, sometimes, for all of us), you are not the same. You have everything you need. He is faithful.