Affirmation

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s another morning commute gone to bust. We are held in a station where there is a fire, and it’s actively being investigated. They are holding us HERE. Make it make sense.

They are literally holding open the doors to “clear” the smoke (aka have us breathe it in). Nothing moves. We are underground. After the new year beginning with terrorism in different cities, it’s mind trippy to get on these trains, that have incredible flaws and can’t seem to get us to our destinations on a regular day, knowing the threat level is so high. And then you have a fire for good measure. Thanks, MTA.

As the train stops and is stuck, we passengers search each other’s faces for reassurance and affirmation. We seek an acknowledgment from each other the MTA won’t give us. 

I find that as things spiral into chaos, we find ourselves talking more and more about and pointing out the irrationality and absurdity of it all. We are all desperate for an affirmation that the person next to us sees what we see. That they acknowledge the wrong we sense. I have been there (I am there right now as I write from this tunnel!). We share our distress. 

Part of me wonders why we need the affirmation. Maybe, part of it is we feel the world has gone insane and left us alone. The train system has certainly left us stranded. (God has not). Our natural actions always confirm what we already know, that there is strength in community, in accountability, in mutual acknowledgment. It’s how we are human. On the flip side, I think we all need practice in holding our convictions alone. Far too many gravitate toward immoral thinking simply because they have company there. And maybe if we needed less affirmation and trusted more what we know, we would have more people with the courage to call out what is wrong instead of benefiting from the chaos. Look at our politicians, our media— it’s all a toxic cesspool. 

The loud speaker is back on. Signal failure. We are still stuck in this tunnel. Tunnels are dark, but that’s the thing— they aren’t eternal. If we keep moving, eventually, we reach the light.