“It’s an amazing trigger within human nature, the minute someone acknowledges their flaws, not only do we tend to forgive them, but we actually come to admire them.” Mark Manson
By: Gabriela Yareliz
We do some weird things to appear flawless to others. We reframe, we pretend like change isn’t a thing (of circumstance or mind), some lie— but then, if someone calls us a perfectionist, we insist that this is not who we are, despite our desperation to appear so, our hunger for validation, and our frustration when we make simple mistakes. It’s human nature to be self-protective; to know that putting the best foot forward has social rewards. We love an illusion or myth. We want to be it.
The irony is that the person who tries to appear the most flawless is usually the person you dislike intensely (this includes if it is you). It’s usually the boss who will throw you under the bus; the colleague who refuses to take accountability; the person with the fake smile who refuses to acknowledge something obvious is wrong; the self-righteous person who needs the cocktail of victimhood and sainthood mixed; the politician who denies his/her easily verifiable record. And why do we dislike the person who displays this attitude? Because it’s not true. It makes them a liar. It’s disingenuous. We see through it. We see through it, even when it is our own posture.
We run from humility like it’s a toxin that destroys our image, while in reality, the toxin is our perfectionism. It’s easier to see and despise the perfectionism in another and harder to see how we cling to it. We would do well to see it because it’s an ingredient in self-loathing and disappointment.
I agree with Mark Manson that the person who acknowledges the flaw receives our compassion and forgiveness— our deep-seated grace. And more than that, our admiration. It’s in our nature to admire courage. Recognize those around you who display the courage. Embody the courage yourself. Be human. Be true. Be admirable.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 