By: Gabriela Yareliz
I woke up from another nightmare. This time, someone had cut my hair while I was asleep. When I woke up, my hand went straight to my freshly blow dried hair, pinned up with a Drybar alligator clip. When I felt the whole Rapunzel there, I let out a huge sigh of relief. These nightmares, though. It’s probably because I go to sleep after listening to Andrew Cuomo press conferences.
After making sure I wasn’t bald, I proceeded to the next matter of the day— the ginger sign. Yesterday, before I went out for my prison break walk, as I was tying my shoes, my eyes fell upon a scarf I had worn last week to the grocery store. I had used this scarf to dramatically cover my face and make a little head/face wrap. There was something dangling from this scarf, in my entryway. I was like, What is that? Guys, it was a ginger sign. Apparently, ginger was on sale at the store, and at some point, my dramatic scarf came in contact with the (sticky part of the) sign, and it stuck to the scarf. I took the ginger sign home.
I was mortified. Had anyone seen it attached to my scarf? (If they did, they must think I am nuts). Should I return it? Would they laugh? Was it even still on sale?
This morning, I suited up in my puffer jacket (my version of hazmat— it’s plastic enough), and my bandit scarf, and I went back to the scene of the crime. Kidding guys, there was no intent, therefore, no crime here. I gave them my business, as any good sale-ginger-sign remover does. Got my perishables. It was early, and the store was full. My waking up early was pointless. I wanted to avoid people. By the time I was there though, I knew I needed to grab my stuff, pay and go. I ran into my neighbor who is always yelling at his kids. He was blocking the lemons for the longest. He took half the stand. Yes, I can judge because his yelling has interrupted my peace on many occasions. And now, I find out he is a lemon hoarder… not cool, man.
I participated in two church services (I basically livestream church 24/7, on weekends), read three interviews out of Influence (by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen). It’s such a brilliant book. Half the people interviewed in there are now dead. I read an entire cookbook, and now, I am going to cook my meals for the next few days. NYC is still inviting me to enjoy virtual parks where the sun does not shine.
I am still laughing about the sale ginger sign. There are small absurdities we miss until we stop, tie our shoes and look up.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 