Hints of Camouflage

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Memorial Day had me thinking about military culture and the strong influence it has in general American culture. Honor, duty, and service are keys to the American spirit.

If you go into environments where perfectionism thrives, you will find hints of military culture: a school, sports, a summer camp, a church or place of worship. These are all places where “discipline = freedom” is a familiar concept.

We have been watching a show called Tucci In Italy (on Hulu). While it focuses on regions of Italy, it is a beautiful reminder of the cultural differences that exist throughout. Some cultures are so deeply motivated by beauty, soft progress and other flavors. One episode was particularly interesting, where a man spoke admiringly about his grandfather who was a deserter. He jumped off of a train (to avoid war) and wandered the forest for four years, he said admiringly. I won’t lie, I was initially shocked. Where was the valor in that? But that’s the thing— in the U.S., that would never be a hero’s story.

In the U.S., we prefer a story of a band of brothers. A story of sacrifice and service. We have a bro culture of men who stand side-by-side doing things (Kiwanis Club, American Legion, Knights of Columbus, military, veteran groups, sports of any kind).

This culture is why Dana White, Joe Rogan and UFC fights make so much sense. It’s engrained (and interestingly, if you look at studies, necessary for men).

I personally love military culture. I had my fair share of summer camps where we did push-ups and would get up and say, “Thank you for strengthening my mind and body, Sir.” We had our bunks inspected. We were taught to handle a flag; to raise it and fold it properly (yes, the triangle). Our track coach would have us run until we vomited. Running in groups and a responsive hollering of things— definitely a thing. The PE Presidential Fitness Award (climbing the rope was hell). Every workout DVD or program called a “bootcamp.” We love this stuff. What can I say, it’s the American way. Now, having lived in NYC for more than a decade, I wonder if this culture is fading or if it just doesn’t exist here because people are kind of soft here. I don’t know. Maybe NYC has its own isolated culture and subgroups.

I think the discipline taught in military culture is important. A society devoid of honor and sacrificial service is a dead one. It’s one that gets trampled (look at history). Life is hard. I say it all the time. That is the greatest understatement of all time. We need to be used to facing hard things. We need to grip something and sweat and lift it above our heads even if we shake. We have to learn to breathe through pain. We have to learn to not leave the person next to us behind. To know our decisions affect another. To understand we win together. To maximize life and be the best we can be.

We have to strive for excellence. The moment we lose all of this, we have lost our essence as Americans. We not only owe a lot to our military service members, but we owe a lot to the culture which infiltrates so many of our spaces and pockets of our lives.

Discipline = Freedom. This will never be wrong.

Vision

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“You can’t be what you can’t see,” is a phrase I have heard multiple times. At least four different people. It’s the idea that we need vision. We need to see an idea, example or portrayal of where we can go. And often, once you have the vision, real life surpasses it.

Hockey Observations

By: Gabriela Yareliz

As we are deep in the hockey playoffs— there are some general things we have to talk about.

ESPN You are DESTROYING Women On-Air Talent

First, can we just all agree that it’s hard to be a woman in sports journalism? When I took the class, it was me and like one other girl. (And I am not a sports journalist). So you know that the women who report on the NHL worked hard to be there. Emily Kaplan is a favorite. She always says ‘thank you’ to players in their native language (cute). But let me tell you something, ESPN must be going through budget cuts because their on-camera talent is looking like they do their own styling, hair and makeup. I have seen the women wear completely unflattering colors and outfits. Cheap purples that clash with both playing team’s colors, etc. I have seen their hair literally so wildly out of place and sticking up. I have seen their makeup messy and smudged. They deserve better. Even MSG Networks, a smaller local (NY) network, has talent that looks professionally put together.

The women on ESPN have looked so disheveled (and they are beautiful women), I have actively questioned if they are being sabotaged by the network. Do better ESPN.

Where are the Real Questions?

Next, I have been disappointed by journalist questions in general. They ask the most generic questions over and over again. The players, even the most polite, end up looking annoyed because they are in fact wasting their time. They answer the same questions 20x. I have heard the weirdest questions that often sound like a backhanded compliment. It has like a weird little insult mixed in. “You, of all people, scored this goal after not scoring for five games…” “Isn’t it hard to believe, after a season like the one you had, that you are here? How does it feel?” And it’s not that we can’t be factual— it’s the tone in which the questions are asked. It sounds catty and like a dig. It isn’t said in a matter-a-fact way. I have been surprised certain players haven’t just walked off mid-interview as they stand there in skates, covered in sweat. The coach interviews can be painful unless you have a coach that inserts humor and banter, because it’s the same questions on repeat. People don’t ask hard questions. The ones we actually want answered.

Do you know how many times I have heard a journalist ask a Panthers player what they learned about Brad Marchand when he joined the team? I have heard that question at least 64 times. And it’s always the same answer. You are telling me there is nothing else you can ask a Stanley Cup winning team? As a common objection in court says, “Asked and answered. Move on.”

Slow Down the Anthems

If a U.S. team is playing in Canada, they sing both national anthems. Naturally. What I have noticed is that the home team will sing their country’s national anthem at a regular tempo. It’s all very nice. The other country gets screwed.

So, during the home Maple Leafs’ games, they sang the Canadian anthem nicely. Then, they sang the U.S. anthem at 2x speed like a podcast I am trying to cram on my commute walk. I have never heard a faster U.S. National Anthem singing. It’s bizarre. I think part of the respect we should have for another country is to not race through their national anthem like it’s a rap remix. Sing it normal. Include the natural emotional pauses and inflections. We need to normalize singing both national anthems at the same speed. Otherwise, it’s just unhinged.

One Wish

Ok, ok, I am done. If I only get one of these wishes, someone please save the ESPN female talent. So that even if the questions don’t improve and the anthems are done in -6 seconds, at least we don’t have to feel a pang of sadness as we stare at the hard working female journalist who is trying to get us the tea behind the bench.

Thank you.

The Four Questions

By: Gabriela Yareliz

This morning, I was reflecting on Byron Katie’s four questions. These are the questions she uses to coach people through issues and places where they get stuck. The questions are:

  • Is it true?
  • Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  • How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  • Who would you be without the thought?

Working through these has been so interesting. They make the day brighter and make us feel freer.

Paul Maurice

By: Gabriela Yareliz

The Florida Panthers are advancing to the Eastern Conference Final. Paul Maurice’s press conference after yesterday’s hard-fought game 7 with the Leafs was such a reminder as to why he is my favorite coach. Maurice embodies a humble leader, who is fair, strategic and imparts greatness. The man is a class act. I will root for him wherever he goes.

There is something about the way Florida grinds that is so awesome to watch. This is a team that thrives under pressure.

The hunt continues. Anything can happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if this team wins the cup again. Maurice is a steady force that often seems unstoppable.