GABRIELA YARELIZ

Wannabe

By: Gabriela Yareliz

If you are a nineties girl, you remember singing the Spice Girl’s “Wannabe.” We would belt it out on the playground. (Not kidding).

/I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want/

I think there is an epidemic in adults who don’t know what they want. We deflect. We look down at our feet, and we shrug. We defer to others. We keep saying we don’t know. And perhaps we don’t. But weirdly, we are ok with that. Perhaps we are paralyzed in fear and trying to distract ourselves.

What does it take to know? It means taking the time to process emotions and sit with it. Science says many of the emotions we avoid can often be processed in about 90 seconds (if we don’t shut it down or distract from it). Things people avoid for a lifetime could be processed in 90 seconds. Think about that.

If you truly don’t know what you want, you need to figure it out. Do it while you have time.

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson has some fascinating thoughts on this that, to me, are right on point. He refers to this not-knowing epidemic as the “fog.”

Peterson says:

“Sometimes you are so afraid you don’t even allow yourself to even know what you want.”

“If you know what you want, then you know when you are failing. If you don’t know what you want— then you can keep that foggy.”

“If you don’t set out the conditions for your success, then you can avoid your responsibility because again, that’s not clear. The problem with wanting something is that in all probability you are going to have to work for it and make sacrifices, and it’s certainly possible you want to avoid that. You may be afraid to make it clear because other people can deny it to you, too.

Failing to make it clear protects you right now, but it’s really hard on you over the long term because if you don’t make it clear to yourself what you want or to other people, the probability that you are going to just stumble into it is pretty low. You can put that off indefinitely day after day but the problem with that is that you age while you are doing that and there is obviously a price to be paid for doing that.”

Have you let fear put you into paralysis? Are you avoiding responsibility by staying in neutral fog instead of moving forward? Are you waiting to “stumble” into what matters in life?

We have to ask ourselves these questions. Time is the most precious thing. It doesn’t return. We are up against the clock, so tell me what you want, what you really really want. Then go out, and make it happen.

“What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” Mary Oliver

The Future You

“There are people who love you for who you are but not for who you will be.” Erwin McManus

By: Gabriela Yareliz

McManus’ quote reminds us that some relationships are temporary. As one of his chapters in Mind Shift is titled, “You Can’t Take Everyone With You.”

We are ever evolving. We have to hold space for that. It’s a disservice to another to try to keep them in a box, snapshot in time or to try to force them to go where they are not ready to go.

The “future you” may walk alone, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t transform. On the contrary, the transformation in solitude makes many things more than worth it.

Jordan B. Peterson often says that we often count the loss. For example, we think of what it will cost us to speak up, to stand up for what is right, to transform. But we often ignore the other cost— what it will cost us if we don’t speak up, what happens if we don’t stand up for what is right, if we don’t transform. The cost we often ignore is much more devastating. It leaves an imprint on history and eternity. More importantly, it leaves an imprint on our souls.

Santa Ana

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Very little else has our attention— all eyes on the LA fires. (Unless you are the president, Gavin Newsom and Mayor Bass).

I was safe, warm and in my bed, going in and out of consciousness. Every time I was conscious, my mind was racing with prayers. I was filled with gratitude because life can be arbitrary (those who have faced great loss know— take nothing for granted) and I reflected on how people who just lost everything felt in that moment. Praying for my brother’s safety and the people of churches, first responders and aid who stayed behind instead of evacuating to serve and help. All my admiration goes to those who decide to stay to help those who are vulnerable. Those men and women who run in and carry elderly people out of their homes— those images will stay with us as a marker of this time.

Here is a collection of resources posted to the Modern Witnesses IG yesterday. In case someone here knows of someone who needs it and isn’t connected to us there. The fires continue to rage. This isn’t over.

First, this. There are many red flag zones. The conditions continue to evolve. Download the Watch Duty app, and make your assessment and decision. Don’t wait for someone with “authority” to tell you to leave. There are no adults in this room other than firefighters and you. Make your own decision. Move before it’s too late.

*PAGE OF RESOURCES*

Smoke exposure will still be a thing even after the fires get contained (which hasn’t happened yet).

If you need shelter, don’t miss the resources out there. Keep your phone charged.

If you are alone or vulnerable. If you need help, churches are on the ground and not leaving the area. Mosaic is one of those churches that is in Hollywood, Pasadena and active.

Image of Mosaic Hollywood from Erwin McManus

Those of us outside of LA can join in community and donate. I trust Mosaic and those who serve there and have donated.

Everylife is also fantastic. They are taking donations.

Then, there is the politics of it all. There is no question the president, state governor and mayor of the city have abdicated their duty.

Houseinhabit shared a Joan Didion passage on the LA fires. I love a Didion moment.

“The Winds Show Us How Close to the Edge We Are.”

The mood is hot right now. It’s currently fluctuating between this:

And prayer.

Let’s go with prayer right now.

Words and prayer from Ian Simkins:

“For those fleeing, give them safety.

For those fighting, give them strength.

For those grieving, give them comfort.

May we not just watch and weep, but act with courage and compassion.

So we ask boldly:

Calm the winds, protect the vulnerable, and restore what’s been lost.

For every person looking at the flames with fear, whisper hope.

For every family waiting in the unknown, surround them with Your presence.

You are Emmanuel-God with us.

Be near to Los Angeles now.

Amen.”

***

May LA and all in the devastation feel God’s presence near.

Our hearts are heavy seeing the devastation around our country. From Maui to Florida to North Carolina and East Tennessee to New Orleans, Las Vegas— now California. We don’t know where to look. That doesn’t even count the violence and lawlessness we experience in each day in our respective towns and cities.

I have seen multiple verses in past weeks, as I reflect on the scriptures, that say the same thing— do not let your hearts be troubled. Do not be afraid. It keeps coming up in every way shape and form.

Holding onto this. Sharing in case you need it, too.

God is near.

Revelation

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“Everything that exists deserves to perish.” Mephistopheles, in Goethe’s Faust

The quote above was Karl Marx’s favorite quote. Stay with me.

This may feel random. This year, I have begun the year here giving a small window into my thoughts. I think about a lot of random things all the time. I find, at times, my mind doesn’t shut off. I used to share my thoughts more when I was younger and embodied more of a challenger frequency. I don’t share as much, but the thoughts never stop. Ha.

So, here we are. I like sharing the things I learn and ruminate about because I don’t think them to be frivolous (at least not always). I like to provoke thought because I love to think and parse out ideas that challenge me. My early thoughts on philosophy are all documented and sprinkled here over time. And that’s the thing— as you read what I write, you see my journey and also, a snapshot in time. You get an idea as to my values and what matters to me.

There is a fascinating book called The Devil and Karl Marx by Dr. Paul Kengor, which explores Marx’s poetry and body of written work often conveniently ignored by historians and biographers; work done before his economic writing that offers a pretty clear window into his thoughts, values and soul.

His favorite quote is from a character that embodies the devil. And that is just the starting point here. You can learn more about Marx in Dr. Kengor’s interview with Dr. Jordan B. Peterson here. Or read the book.

This had me thinking—

I find that so much of suffering comes from two things— refusing to accept reality and creating a fantasy about people or ideas in our heads (and clinging to the fantasy), or we listen to what others say about someone instead of reflecting on and heeding to what a person says about themselves.

I have observed in more shallow relationships (by shallow I mean where people lack emotional depth, maturity or connection), sometimes between spouses or between children and their parents and even among coworkers or leadership, that there is often a lot of information and clues presented and in plain sight, but no one wants to go there. No one wants to see it. No one wants to connect the dots. The problem becomes when the dots are connected for you, and it all comes to a head.

We would be wiser to start collecting the pieces of information we so freely receive and start mapping out reality, as inconvenient as it may be. (It’s more inconvenient to be slapped in the face with it later).

We must ignore the noise and accept what is in front of us.

Without doing this, we can make a hero out of the devil, and a villain out of a righteous one. Isn’t that the great pain point of humanity’s history?

Amplified

By: Gabriela Yareliz

My coach (she has the House of Joy podcast) always says that whatever we focus on amplifies. We should always be trying to amplify joy.

I am including here a podcast episode that had me laughing out loud on a delayed train. So if you are in transit, sick at home, at your desk in need of some background noise in the headphones— if you want to laugh— you can’t go wrong with Theo Von.

Enjoy. Build that house of joy!

Theater

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“Let the lie come into the world, let it even triumph. But not through me.” Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

It’s a liar’s world. People look around and wonder what and who they can trust. It’s hard to know what you can believe. Even the smartest can be deceived. Things are twisted and pulled out of context. Narratives spun. When we find ourselves in what feels like a post-truth era, the Bible’s urging for us to seek wisdom and discernment becomes more and more understandable and imperative. Without wisdom, we fall.

As we see the powers that be and everything else unfold as theater with characters who intrigue us as we wait to see what they reveal next, we must make a decision ourselves. It has always been the choice of each person who walks the earth— who will we be? Will we uphold the truth even if it costs us everything?

The truth, after all, can be quite inconvenient. As we live out our time on earth, deception will lurk in corners and at times be upheld, celebrated and rewarded. After all, the Devil is called the father of lies, and at the same time, the prince of this world.

Just recently, I heard a message that emphasized that the way of God always embraces the way of freedom. So then, it’s quite simple. If we are to walk in the way of God, we must walk in truth. Jesus said, the truth shall set you free. (John 8:32) This also means we must actively seek it out. We are not excused for having the truth in front of us and ignoring it.

May we choose to contribute and uphold truth and freedom in all that we do. May we live free.

A must watch:

We Are All Fish

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“We are all fish swimming in water most of us cannot see, and we need to be more humble, more curious, more aware of all that is around us.” Margi Conklin

I loved this quote about life because it’s so true. As we start to understand that there is so little we do understand, it certainly keeps us humble.

Jesus Enrique Rosas recently had two emails in his newsletter about the importance of spontaneity in life. He recently wrote:

“Spontaneity crafts the best memories. So, plan your goals, set yourself for success, but always leave room for action when you least expect it.”

In a world where everyone walks around looking down and distracted— keep your head up. Stay aware. Be curious. Stay spontaneous with wisdom. And above all, be love and stay humble.

We are all fish, after all. Most of us cannot see.

Feel It

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“Learn to welcome all of the emotions.” Dr. Edie Wadsworth

I recently heard Dr. Wadsworth say we need to increase our capacity to feel. When we shut down negative emotions, we not only shut down the sad but also the joyful. Increasing our capacity means we feel it all, but it allows us to feel joy.

Increasing our capacity also means taking up space. It means we don’t live small.

“We keep ourselves so small because we don’t want to fail; we don’t want to be uncomfortable; we don’t want to be rejected; we don’t want to be disappointed.” Dr. Edie Wadsworth

Live amplified— go big or go home. Feel it all. Live BIG.

Plan for the End

“I do not plan for the start of the year. I plan for the end.” Lauryn Bosstick

I think Lauryn’s approach is the way we should do life. We envision what we want our lives to look like at the end, and then, we work backwards from there.

Michael Bosstick, Lauryn’s husband, said on their most recent podcast that he likes the obituary approach, where he writes one and then works backward and thinks about what he would have to do today to build a life that would be written about like that.

Sometimes, we get so consumed with the immediate circumstance and lose sight of the big picture. The fact that just like it only takes a split second in a game to score a goal and change the whole game, life changes (or can change) just as fast.

So what do you want your end of year to look like? What changes will take you there?

Affirmation

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s another morning commute gone to bust. We are held in a station where there is a fire, and it’s actively being investigated. They are holding us HERE. Make it make sense.

They are literally holding open the doors to “clear” the smoke (aka have us breathe it in). Nothing moves. We are underground. After the new year beginning with terrorism in different cities, it’s mind trippy to get on these trains, that have incredible flaws and can’t seem to get us to our destinations on a regular day, knowing the threat level is so high. And then you have a fire for good measure. Thanks, MTA.

As the train stops and is stuck, we passengers search each other’s faces for reassurance and affirmation. We seek an acknowledgment from each other the MTA won’t give us.

I find that as things spiral into chaos, we find ourselves talking more and more about and pointing out the irrationality and absurdity of it all. We are all desperate for an affirmation that the person next to us sees what we see. That they acknowledge the wrong we sense. I have been there (I am there right now as I write from this tunnel!). We share our distress.

Part of me wonders why we need the affirmation. Maybe, part of it is we feel the world has gone insane and left us alone. The train system has certainly left us stranded. (God has not). Our natural actions always confirm what we already know, that there is strength in community, in accountability, in mutual acknowledgment. It’s how we are human. On the flip side, I think we all need practice in holding our convictions alone. Far too many gravitate toward immoral thinking simply because they have company there. And maybe if we needed less affirmation and trusted more what we know, we would have more people with the courage to call out what is wrong instead of benefiting from the chaos. Look at our politicians, our media— it’s all a toxic cesspool.

The loud speaker is back on. Signal failure. We are still stuck in this tunnel. Tunnels are dark, but that’s the thing— they aren’t eternal. If we keep moving, eventually, we reach the light.