GABRIELA YARELIZ

A Word On Prayer

By: Gabriela Yareliz

A lot of resources and messages have come together for me pertaining to prayer. I feel this is no accident. It’s like God is trying to teach me something new in this season. Something more effective. A better connection with the authority and power of Heaven.

Throughout the week, the phrase “take back what is yours” has come up. It has been a bold phrase popping up in a time steeped with discouragement and spiritual warfare. There is so much that through pain, hurt, sin and life, the enemy has tried and sometimes successfully stripped from us. We have felt the stinging absence in our hands and hearts. We sometimes feel like a boxer who is dizzy about to receive the TKO blow.

There is not much else I can really find words to express in this moment other than the sentiment Beni Johnson expresses in her book about intercession (thank you to my beautiful friend Delfina for this gift)— thanks to the cross, we no longer have to fight for victory, but we fight from a place of victory.

I have realized that, at times, so many of my prayers are shaped as though fighting for victory— but in all truth, I’ve had it all backwards.

Figuring It Out and the Talented Triplet

“The joy of writing. A chance to make things stay. A revenge of a mortal hand.” Wistawa Szymborska, “The Joy of Writing”

[That quote has nothing to do with this post. I just liked it a lot. Sue me. (Not literally– but if you do, joke is on you).]

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Here we are, one full year after everything seemed to pivot in a new direction. What have I been up to? I have been publishing and conducting some interviews I am really proud of on the Modern Witnesses site. (Head over there for some serious inspo). I have been reading sometimes three books at a time. I am determined to meet my Goodreads challenge number of 50. I am currently on #21. Hopefully, soon to be 23. I have been learning a new language. The little app can be addicting– especially since there is a leaderboard, and I am always striving to stay on top. (I put a time limit on that app because my desire to learn cannot be quenched; gonna stop there before I sound more pathetic).

This language app is interesting because it doesn’t really lay things out for you, you know? It doesn’t teach you the alphabet or tell you what sound letters make. No, it just throws you into the pool, and you swim for dear life. There is something to be said about this method. I am amazed at how much I have been forced to figure out. I had a migraine for two days as I was soaking in the script [letters are not like the English ones]. I am good now. And here I was being like, Oh, I will just learn how to speak it. Nope. I am literally writing sentences about birds eating apples, guys. No joke. I am learning with the education curiosity blade at my throat, so to speak.

In a world where so much is at our very fingertips, it feels really good to exercise that “figure it out” muscle. I recently read an article that said that washing dishes by hand was great for the brain because it forces it to focus. (I love this because I personally think dishwashers are lame. By the time you rinse everything to put it in, you might as well have washed it).

Focus. I think that’s my theme for this spring. I have a fun Think Week coming up in April (stay tuned on the Modern Witnesses page). I can hear one of the triplets next door playing “See You Again” by Charlie Puth, a wonderful soundtrack to this idea of focus. Life is fleeting (and you know those Fast and Furious drivers need their focus, or else…).

When was the last time you really had to focus, where you weren’t doing something routine or methodical? When did you have to figure out something new and piece together the little morsels? …Now I want a cookie. Ok. I am off to clap on the other side of the wall for my talented neighbor. (We are close like that. I have discovered that the triplets buzz me to let them in when their mom locks them out. Cute kids).

Go find something to figure out. Sometimes, practice and routine makes perfect. Other times, we need to face something that we absolutely can’t get right the first or second time. It makes us humble. It makes us smart. It makes us human.

Interview with Brianna Cerrito

Today, on Women’s Day, I am excited and honored to share this interview with Brianna C., an interesting and lovely young woman I met on Instagram, as all cool meetings happen, these days. In typical Gabby fashion, when I meet someone interesting, I want to know more, and here is the result of those inquiries. Thank you, Brianna for taking the time to share with us and for your kind willingness. I seriously can’t wait to meet her in person, once this pandemic situation calms down. For now, we have this digital exchange to bring us joy and gems of wisdom. Enjoy, y’all!

Interview with Brianna C.

GY: Do you have a motto, mantra or something that has been speaking to you lately or for this 2021 season?

BC: Yes – the Universe is conspiring for my massive success. On repeat.

GY: What is the most important lesson you took with you from 2020?

BC: To be appreciative. If you’re alive, that’s a gift. If you have health and a functioning body, that’s a gift. I have never appreciated life more than I have in 2020 and 2021. It actually helps me to make better decisions and to stop sweating the small stuff.

“If you’re alive, that’s a gift.”

GY: What is a goal that you have?

BC: Well, my forever goal is to always do work that allows me to explore my interests creatively. Self-expression and the opportunity to be creative are the greatest forms of freedom in my eyes.

“Self-expression and the opportunity to be creative are the greatest forms of freedom in my eyes.”

GY: You have a very cool IG, and something that caught my eye immediately was your flexibility and love for yoga. How long have you been practicing?

BC: I’ve been practicing yoga since middle school (on and off). A lot of people assume that I’m this dedicated yogi, but in actuality, I was drawn to it because of the philosophy behind it. Yoga philosophy puts words to something I’ve always felt but never knew how to articulate. It’s like when people join a religion and feel like they finally came ‘home’ – that’s how yoga makes me feel. As for my flexibility – I started gymnastics at a very young age and have worked on my flexibility throughout my entire life – be it in gymnastics, cheerleading, or yoga classes.

GY: Do you have a favorite instructor or program?

BC: Yes! @MelissaWoodHealth – I actually learned about her through my current boss, Mona Vand, and once quarantine hit, making the gym no longer an option, I really got into her workouts. I am genuinely obsessed because they get deep into your muscles. To complement the Pilates, I walk as well – my go-to is either a long stroll or a shorter, faster-paced walk on an incline. For me, walking is insanely therapeutic. Walking alone in nature while listening to music is probably my favorite pastime.

“For me, walking is insanely therapeutic.”

GY: What is your favorite yoga pose?

BC: Supta Virasana. For work, I’m on my computer and phone a lot, which means slouching if I don’t pay attention. So, I LOVE a good back & chest opener, it feels amazing.

GY: What is a personal growth focus of yours, at the moment?

BC: My focus is believing wholeheartedly in me achieving everything that I want. More specifically, channeling the feeling that I already have everything I want and embodying the characteristics of the version of me who has those things.

GY: What are you currently reading (and what has it taught you?):

BC: Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill – taught me that manifestation requires a burning desire and an unwavering belief in your attainment of that desire.

GY: Top three essentials (it can be anything at home or something you always carry with you):

BC: Gum, perfume, lipstick.

GY: Do you journal? (and if so, what has this done for you?)

BC: Yes! Not consistently, though. It seems to be a pattern that the more pain I’m in, the more I have to say. Journaling has been my medium for working through my most painful moments as well as manifesting my pain into something beautiful. I read back on things I’ve written at the hardest times in my life, and it makes me have so much gratitude for where I am. Plus, I think my writing is beautiful. When you write something from a place of pain, it uncovers deep and meaningful layers of awareness that you just can’t get at when you feel good.

“When you write something from a place of pain, it uncovers deep and meaningful layers of awareness that you just can’t get at when you feel good.”

GY: What keeps you encouraged?

BC: Knowing what I’m here to do and knowing that I’ll be successful. And if not, I’ll die trying. The way I always stay on track with encouraging myself is to only think positive thoughts. If I get doubtful, I switch gears – take a nap, go on a walk, call or see my friends, etc. Once I’ve recharged, my thoughts are back to a great place.

GY: Your go-to drink order is:

BC: Do you mean alcohol? Because if so, it’s hands down a dirty martini. Coffee would be organic cold brew with a splash of almond milk.

GY: What is your favorite holiday?

BC: Honestly, it’s the entire season of Christmas leading up to Christmas Eve – so basically post-Thanksgiving through December 24^th. I LOVE the Eve way more than Christmas day because it’s the most fun and unconventional. I dress up as Santa to give out presents to my younger cousins, which is by far more entertaining for the adults than the kids (lol).

GY: What thing/cause do you want to raise awareness about?

BC: A shift in our consciousness and awareness. We do so much charity and have all these organizations working towards causes to make up for the destruction in the world, but if the people of the world were in a state of peace and more conscious of their behaviors, we wouldn’t need to do so much damage control. There are big shifts happening in the world, and the sooner we realize we are all one, the better off we’ll be. I think the biggest overarching cause we need to all be aware of is the collective shift in consciousness that MUST happen. That’s the panacea for all the destruction in the world.

In the meantime, on a micro-level, the best thing a person can do is focus on causes that move them personally. There are so many causes & amazing initiatives that matter and deserve attention, but I could never pick one as most important. If you feel personally touched by something, you work harder to make change.

“[I]f the people of the world were in a state of peace and more conscious of their behaviors, we wouldn’t need to do so much damage control.”

GY: What does your morning routine consist of?

BC: Truth be told, I hate set routines because I don’t like rules or feeling like I ‘have’ to do something. But here’s the gist of it: wake up, drink water, make an iced coffee – drink that. The rest happens in whatever order I’m feeling that day. If I work from home, any of the following can happen in any order – start chipping away at emails, meditate, workout, make breakfast. On days that I have to be physically present at work, I most likely drink my coffee while working out so I can save time. I eat whenever I’m hungry, which could be as soon as I wake up or a few hours after I wake up.

You can find more of Brianna at:

@briannamcerrito

Thank you, Brianna!

Fuel

By: Gabriela Yareliz

At any given moment, we have a million different lives and outcomes within our reach. The choices we are faced with are terrifying and empowering, all the same.

Where does the time go? The pandemic has made it feel like life is just passing by.

Maybe, I told my dad, we fill our heads with too much pressure. We end up like pressure cookers instead of free souls.

We can’t live haunted by what could of been but must live fueled by all that can be. Looking forward, and only looking back for inspiration.

Leaving Burnout Behind: Lessons Learned

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I once heard a conversation between Erwin and Aaron McManus on Battle Ready, where they were discussing the concept of burnout. Basically, what was expressed is that burnout doesn’t typically stem from having too much to do but rather by not finding fulfillment in the work you are doing. I found that to be deep, as I, at the time, was at a job that made me feel limited and drained.

What can you do if you are experiencing this terrible feeling of burnout? Here are some of the things I’ve learned along the way:

Explore your values and skills: Sometimes, we need to take a long hard look at who we want to be and see if where we are aligns with that. No paycheck is worth being miserable, abused or silenced. You have one life. If you are in a place that isn’t utilizing your skills and abilities in the way you know they can be used (and you have expressed this to your company, giving it an opportunity to make adjustments)– maybe it’s time to rethink where you are. We want to live lives of maximum impact and fulfillment.
Separate time for action: I am a big believer in changing your circumstances if you don’t like them. There are things you have control over. If you don’t like the book or story, then switch it up. Change the book. Change authors. Change the setting. Taking action is something that fills one with hope, but it takes courage because there is risk involved. If you are in a miserable situation– applying to other jobs, doing research for your next move, taking a course and being strategic to get yourself out of your current situation are a light at the end of a dark tunnel. It shifts things. It shifts your energy, your mood and your emotions. Sometimes, we sit back and act as victims of our own lives, when I truly believe God is waiting for us to stand up and take the reins again. Start planning your next move.
Take care of yourself: It can be really easy to fall into a slump. When we feel miserable, it shows. Take time to exercise, walk, spend time in nature, read, find support, get dressed, take vacation time and always take lunch.
Guard your time and energy: Make sure you have a hard cutoff time where you are no longer available for what is making you miserable. You do not need to be on-call or accessible 24/7, unless you are a certain type of doctor. If you are not saving lives, then live with that in mind and set a boundary. This also helps you make time for action steps to emerge out of your current mire. Also, the world is filled with disturbed people who live manipulating, abusing and gaslighting employees and colleagues. “Protect your energy” is something I heard Rachel Zeilic say. She decided to leave her company because her energy was being drained due to her interactions with toxic coworkers and the politics of it all. Remember, you are a free agent. Free to move. Free to make sure people respect you and set boundaries. Free to leave. It’s valid.

This is just a friendly reminder that we have choices. Even when it seems like we don’t, we do. Taking ownership of your life and decisions will be a game changer, if you haven’t done it already.

An Invitation to a Deeply Felt Life

By: Gabriela Yareliz

We are back at March. Back to the days when the world seemingly stopped last year, and we were paralyzed in a haze of fear, grief, uncertainty and confusion. But today, while we acknowledge that last March the world stopped and the month cheated us of our expectations, we approach the end of a circle. If we come full circle, is it time to start a new one? How exactly does that work…?

It was a wet weekend, here in NYC. Walking around in a deserted city with an umbrella, good food and my boyfriend made me feel so alive. There is something about a light rain, when it permeates your jacket and makes you feel damp and chilled, that makes you feel everything. I could feel the heaviness in my legs as we walked up a hill– it was the feeling of life. These simple things can make us feel so much when we are constantly numbed by emails, Zoom and digital interactions.

As I write this, I hear the sirens in the background, and the sky is gray. Typically, we get our worst snow storms in March, but I just don’t see it this year. We’ll see.

This weekend, I was listening to some speakers at PMC, and they were discussing phone etiquette. Remember that? It was a reminder of the days when people wouldn’t call after a certain hour, and they didn’t just think you were available all the time. It was also a time when you greeted people a certain way, and there were time limits around things. Remember when calling long distance cost you something? I had these little calling cards I would use to call my friends who were always far away because we kept moving. One of my major goals this spring is to disconnect a bit from the consuming phone world. I mean, obviously, I will still be around, but I also just want to take some old school time. I feel that the more digitally consumed we become, the less deeply we feel life. We are numbed by YouTube videos, apps and news articles. Yep, I still want to just sit on the ground in a kilt.

Am I the only one who feels a sense of nostalgia for the world Marcel Pagnol always took us back to? His books are my favorite to get lost in. Reading his books makes one feel like one fell asleep on a blanket in a field of red carnations, in some sort of a dream with birds as a soundtrack. How do we make life feel real again, during the workweek? During a pandemic? Were we just as numb before and only realizing it now?

An image from the 1986 film based on Manon de Sources by Marcel Pagnol.

I spent time online (the irony is not lost on me) looking at the blooming trees in the south. They announce spring is creeping up on us like it’s ready to break Narnia’s spell. I can’t help but think that the flowers sprinkle the ground with nature’s most luxurious carpet, welcoming us into a deeply felt life, if we’ll take the risk.

Butterfly Wings

“The Second French Empire collapsed when the dyspeptic Emperor Napoleon III, unwisely venturing onto the battlefield, was captured and imprisoned.” The Bettencourt Affair

By: Gabriela Yareliz

As I read The Bettencourt Affair, I am struck by several things at once. It makes me wonder about the different and powerful things that drew so many different people into collaboration with the Nazi’s during German occupation. How many were attracted by different aspects of it and yet ended up in the same dangerous group. It brought to mind how racism can truly lead to a distorted view of the world, but how it’s often funded and protected. The company L’Oreal wouldn’t exist as it exists now, had its founder not been a strong Nazi collaborator, funder and sympathizer (and had not old chums saved his butt later, after the Allies and Resistance won out). It brings to mind how we never truly outgrow our inner child unless we truly heal from those childhood wounds. This book highlights the unraveling of a family who, apart from its incredible fortune, was so dysfunctional due to its inability to share true affection and each of its participants’ hunger for love and attention. While this scandal (“affair” in French) that riveted the attention of the French and the world (and destroyed Sarkozy’s reputation) was about money, undue influence and types of revenge and corruption, its characters, real and flawed, stand before us. Their insecurities and dark histories exposed. A lesson for us all.

The quote at the beginning of this post struck me. Sometimes, we think so little of the small decisions we make. Sometimes, we categorize choices and think of some as “big” or “important” and others as inconsequential. Here, we have Napoleon III just venturing out. It costs him and everyone else the entire empire. This book reminded me how each of our choices can change the course of history. The small choices can become the big trigger to something that changes the world— not just our world. A simple venturing out can cost you an empire.

I thought of this as I watched the Britney documentary, and how so many fail to realize the very unwise decisions she continually made before she was placed under conservatorship. (Not arguing for the conservatorship— just noting this). Our choices, as small as they may seem, when added up in a formula, bring us into our present.

What if we chose to do the right thing? What if we healed instead of obsessively hungering for affection (rooting our identity in this need to be desired)? What if we just weighed the possibilities in the humility of knowing that while no one knows the future, there is a cause and effect? What if we realized that the decisions we make extend past ourselves?

One of my favorite films Le Battement d’ailes du papillon explains that like the batting of a butterfly’s wings can change the course of the entire world, our choices can do the same.

“You see, every detail, every gesture, as slight as it may be, reveals an infinity of truths and thus has an endless repercussion and grandiose effects.” Le Battement d’ailes du papillon

If only we could see that every choice triggers a light rain that falls on us all, like the rains that blanket Paris on a gray day, like the rains that fall over NYC today.

How to Have a Charmed Spring

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I loved Gigi Chomiak‘s 100 Ways to Romance Life email newsletter (sent February 11). It got my mind wandering and thinking about the things that I feel make (or could make) spring magical. Spring is my favorite season, so I figured it would be fun to make a little list of how to find and create the little gem moments, for this recharge season. Twenty-four more days!

“I bear a charmed life.” William Shakespeare

“It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want—oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!”

Mark Twain

Open a window. Open the shades, and let the light stream in. Also, open the actual window, and let fresh air circulate.
Watch local birds.
Draw the prettiest bird you see.
Find a patch of little wildflowers (even if they are considered weeds). Pick some. Press some.
Squeeze your own orange juice, and enjoy.
Find some cute sandals for a sunny stroll.
Figure out who your mentor is. (This can be an author whose books you read or a podcast you listen to often). Believe it or not, you have one– or a couple.
Plan to wear leg-exposing bottoms for an entire week (shorts, dress, skirt). I love sitting on a bench and letting the sun hit my bare legs. It’s amazing to uncover the legs after months of stockings and leggings.
Plan a picnic.
And choose a fabulous blanket that sets the picnic vibe.
Buy a good lemonade for this picnic.
Read Jane Eyre.
Wear a kaftan with sunglasses. (Rachel Zoe is fab inspiration).
Watch the sunrise.
Tablescape like Courtney Dial Whitmore. Her stuff is so inspiring.
Wear socks with high heels.
Cook with ingredients from a farmers market.
Listen to anything Carla Bruni.
Read some poetry every day, for a week.
Read some philosophy. (I love books by Ryan Holiday).
Listen to a great “Battle Ready” podcast conversation.
Listen to an engaging “TSC Podcast” episode.
Talk to someone in your community, and learn something new.
Watch Confessions of a Shopaholic.
Watch Uptown Girls.
Watch The Secret Garden.
Watch Paris, je t’aime.
Get a massage.
Send snail mail once a week.
Go to bed at 8 pm, one night.
Do a mini day trip/road trip.
Try a new gas station snack.
Get some branches for a table in your home.
Spend at least an hour by a body of water.
Make a pie.
Read Wide Awake by Erwin McManus.
Buy a physical magazine or journal. Read it.
Redecorate a corner of your home.
Deep clean your home.
Donate old clothes.
Plan you future.
Approach your productivity differently.
Ride a bike.
Take something out of your morning routine.
Add something new to your morning routine.
Write consistently.
Get a disposable camera and see what you end up taking photos of.
Chase the light.
Read Strange Planet.
Choose a person. Invest in him/her.

Types of Breakups

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I’ve noticed there are breakups that are for the best. We almost sigh in relief as witnesses, with the involved parties. But then, there are breakups that change the course of life and time as we know it. There are ruptures that leave a rip in the universe. Harmony ceases and the ‘what if’s’ haunt the existence of all who knew or come to know.

Gonna Get Me A Kilt

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Guys, I saw a trailer for a TV show on Starz the other day, and it stayed on my mind. It felt fun and exciting and looked like life. (Something that feels a bit foreign to those of us who have been locked up in our rooms like the girl from Tangled (yes, that is a Nurse Morgan reference from The Mindy Project).

In this trailer, these two rugged men look like they are trying new things and look blissfully clueless. They grab bikes and ride them down little paths, jump off waterfalls, they do little dances and run with wild animals. I am missing when I would chase Bunny in the cow pastures, and the cows would gang up on us and start the stampede. Vibes. One of the closing scenes of this trailer includes the two men in kilts, sitting on the ground against a large vehicle drinking out of a flask. Listen, I don’t drink; not my thing, but I couldn’t help but ask myself, when was the last time I just sat on the ground and chilled. Like for real. In this new, indoor digital world where no one knows the true color of my lipstick because Zoom and the lighting distort it, we aren’t livin’.

This video made me want to go on an adventure. I mean, here these men who know nothing are on this road trip of a lifetime, to explore, learn new things and make memories. But isn’t that what life is? Aren’t we clueless? Aren’t we on a trip of a lifetime? We are here to learn new things and make memories.

Where can you find me, you ask? Probably in a kilt, sitting on the ground somewhere. Given the travel restrictions, sigh, a skirt will have to do. I have plenty of those, though. *searches kilt on Amazon*

“Listen– are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?” Mary Oliver

If you want to be inspired by what living actually looks like, see the subject trailer for Men in Kilts, below:

Ideas on how to feel more alive in the comments, please.