The Hours: July 30, 2016

The most random, memorable pieces of conversation from the day. Because sometimes, people say things that make you *double take*. – Gabriela Yareliz

11:15: “Who is your hairstylist? You have to give me the details! She cuts gorgeous… Don’t stop going to her!” (E)

11:24: “What are you doing in that closet?” (T)

11:24: “I am looking for that shiny white tablecloth, but it’s a mess in here. We need to invest in new tablecloths and someone needed to fold all this, so I am doing it.” (G)

11:24: “So if someone asks me who destroyed the closet, I can say it was you?” (T)

11:25: “Yes. I left it better than I found it.”

*takes off heels and stands on stool to dig through closet*

11:30: “I was wondering who that tall woman was, from a distance” (R)

11:30: “Yes! I am finally tall!”(G)

11:45: “I am pissed beyond reason, and I want to punch her in the face.” (T)

11:46: “I must do communion with him because he has this thing on the bottom of his foot and wants only someone who knows him to see it.” (T)

*after baby dedication where the baby cried in the pastor’s arms the whole time*

12:07: “You still got the magic touch, man.” (MB)

*helping elderly lady find a seat*

12:26: “We are going all the way to the front, my dear? Oh! Are you French?” (L)

12:26: “No Madame B, I am not French…” (G)

2:34: “This is what happens when you have too many degrees, you don’t know how to do things, and you get all stupid. I saw her with the table just staring at it, and I went and folded it for her. All those degrees and can’t fold a table.” (F)

2:35: “Actually, I had folded all the other tables and taken them down, but when I saw you coming, I just flipped this one over and stared at it, knowing that if I stared at it long enough, you would come and fold this one for me. And you did! How is that for stupid?” (G)

2:35: “Oh man, she will always be smarter than you. Owned.” (H)

3:15: “Do you have a Jewish personality?” (M)

3:23: “He is my second cousin.” (I)
3:23: “No, he is not!” (L)

*explains family tree*

3:25: “It makes sense.” (G)

3:25: “No, it does not.” (L)

4:13: “She invited him to the fashion show and no one else.” (I)

*the following took place at the Jewish museum*

4:32: “Is that the original Pokemon? Why is there a graven image?!” (M)

4:32: “M, that is a sculpture! It’s not an item to worship. This is an ART museum.” (G)
4:40: “Excuse me, where do you have the painting of the most famous Jewish man in the world?” (M)

4:40: “And who is the most famous Jewish man in the world?” (SG)

4:40: “Jesus.” (M)
5:00: “I want to see the original Ten Commandments! Hey Gabby, you look like this girl in this photo!” (M)



*streets of the Upper East Side*
6:03: “They have the energy of 20 year olds.” (H)

6:03: “No, they are just animals, man. Beasts. No normal 20 year old does that!” (G)
7:00: “Siesta and then fiesta!” (I)

7:13: “When I told the taxi driver that I was going to Brooklyn, he mentally cursed me out. It’s like I heard him.” (G)

Published by Gabriela Yareliz

Gabriela is a writer, editor and attorney. She loves the art of storytelling, and she is based in NYC.

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