By: Gabriela Yareliz
Hello from the land of virtual parks— they are still trying to sell us on that. I tried to make the Dalgona hot chocolate. It did not work. I ended up with a syrupy chocolate milk. I whisked and whisked. On the other hand, I was able to make a good decaf chai latte with my milk frother. So good.
I woke up from another nightmare. This time, I remember nothing except one of my brothers was calling out my name. I woke up, thinking he was in the room with me. I was alone. The voice had sounded so real that this was what mentally woke me up. What is it with these quarantine nightmares? And apparently, I am not the only one. Leandra Medine Cohen (Manrepeller) and Danielle Bernstein (WeWoreWhat) have also reported strange nightmare dream activity. Hmm.
So far, all of mine have played on fears. Being trapped, having something done to me against my will (when they cut my hair— it’s not the hair cutting that is scary to me— I have done that a million times), and now something regarding my brothers. What do I know. We won’t figure this out tonight.
I made biscuits today and ate a salad. I am impressed. I got a surprise letter in the mail from my love, and then sat down to study my Bible for a bit.
Throughout the day, I hear the birds chirping. Freedom. I did my yoga challenge of the day. It was all about synchronizing breath with motion. If I needed more proof that I am terrible at breathing— this was it.
I realized I grew impatient with the video. It’s not even that it was going too slow, though I have been known to be the girl who double taps the fast forward button on a yoga video. (I will come up with my own genre of it called speedy yoga). I know. But now, there is nowhere to rush off to. I am not speeding through a down-dog to catch the train I need to get to court. There is no hurry, anymore.
I think what frustrated me was the intentionality. Synchronization doesn’t necessarily require a slower or faster speed. Instead, what it requires is intention. Maybe part of what has frustrated us all about this lockdown is the quiet that requires us to see where we lack synchronization. When we see it, we grow frustrated because synchronization is not easy, it requires focus.
Rather than getting frustrated, hitting pause or fast forward, maybe all we need to force ourselves to do is breathe. Stick with it and breathe.