I am cleaning out my office because a new adventure awaits. My eyes fell on quotes I have on post-its on the wall. The first is by Will Durant, and it says, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act but a habit.”
Other quotes on my walls say:
“A man who procrastinated in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.” Hunter S. Thompson
“If it’s truly important, schedule it. Is it a dream or a goal? If it isn’t on the calendar, it isn’t real.” Khaled Hosseini
“We believe in human kindness.” Folks at Magnolia
“Never underestimate the power of hope.”
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” Proverbs 18:21
“I am with you always, even unto the end.” Jesus
And my favorite quote, which was on my door: “They thought they could bury us. They didn’t know we were seeds.” Mexican Proverb
These quotes really shaped my approach to my work and life, and they will continue to. I hope they inspire you as much as they inspire me.
“In life, if we lose— I am not quitting. It doesn’t matter what we are doing, I will not quit. Because the only thing that I really have is tenacity. No real skill set here— just punch the wall ‘til it breaks.” Bobby Bones
I was reflecting on the many uncertainties we face in this life. It’s a challenging adventure for all of us finite beings. As I thought about this, I was praying and I decided to read out of a devotional I sometimes dive into, by Tony Dungy, The One Year Uncommon Life Daily Challenge.
In today’s reading, he highlights an often-read verse, as an answer to uncertainty: “faith is the confidence that what we hoped for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we can not see.” Hebrews 11:1
It’s a common verse. Not groundbreaking, at a glance, but I started to think about it with pause. I sometimes get restless and impatient and worried, and it affects my day-to-day. What this reflects is lack of faith. Faith is having trust that things will be guided by God’s hand, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
Tony Dungy writes in today’s entry, “Are you willing to move ahead on something, even if all the ducks don’t seem to be in a row? Or are you afraid to jump in? Life is full of uncertainty; God wants you to be bolstered by faith in Him.”
It never ceases to amaze me how often fear and distrust creep into our lives. Faith is the antidote to uncertainty. This never means we will always get what we want, but it means we are in God’s hands, and He will always get us home. Home is the endgame.
And sometimes, faith materializes the amazing things for which we yearn so deeply, with our hearts. I will never forget a message I heard on an early morning in Tennessee. The woman said, “Faith is believing in what you cannot see— and the reward of faith is seeing what you believed in.”
In the things that cause us stress today— in all the holes, gaps and question marks, let’s just pour faith into those. Not faith in just anyone, but faith in a God who can be trusted. We can have assurance in what we can’t see because God is faithful. We can see His mighty hand in everything around us. Faith is never blind; instead, it’s a refocus on that which has been revealed.
I was reflecting on the many uncertainties we face in this life. It’s a challenging adventure for all of us finite beings. As I thought about this, I was praying and I decided to read out of a devotional I sometimes dive into, by Tony Dungy, The One Year Uncommon Life Daily Challenge.
In today’s reading, he highlights an often-read verse, as an answer to uncertainty: “faith is the confidence that what we hoped for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we can not see.” Hebrews 11:1
It’s a common verse. Not groundbreaking, at a glance, but I started to think about it with pause. I sometimes get restless and impatient and worried, and it affects my day-to-day. What this reflects is lack of faith. Faith is having trust that things will be guided by God’s hand, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
Tony Dungy writes in today’s entry, “Are you willing to move ahead on something, even if all the ducks don’t seem to be in a row? Or are you afraid to jump in? Life is full of uncertainty; God wants you to be bolstered by faith in Him.”
It never ceases to amaze me how often fear and distrust creep into our lives. Faith is the antidote to uncertainty. This never means we will always get what we want, but it means we are in God’s hands, and He will always get us home. Home is the endgame.
And sometimes, faith materializes the amazing things for which we yearn so deeply, with our hearts. I will never forget a message I heard on an early morning in Tennessee. The woman said, “Faith is believing in what you cannot see— and the reward of faith is seeing what you believed in.”
In the things that cause us stress today— in all the holes, gaps and question marks, let’s just pour faith into those. Not faith in just anyone, but faith in a God who can be trusted. We can have assurance in what we can’t see because God is faithful. We can see His mighty hand in everything around us. Faith is never blind; instead, it’s a refocus on that which has been revealed.
“Why are you subjecting yourself to this? Is this really the environment you were made for? … Our adrenal glands can handle only so much before they become exhausted. … Every time you get upset, a little bit of life leaves the body. Are these really the things on which you want to spend that priceless resource? Don’t be afraid to make a change– a big one.” Ryan Holiday, The Daily Stoic, February 12th
By: Gabriela Yareliz
Why is change so hard? There are a lot of answers to this. I have been nearing a moment of big change for myself and witnessed many friends undergoing big changes, too.
Some of us don’t feel ready. But we are. Some of us aren’t ready, but it’s ready or not, here it comes! Some of us are emotionally attached to places or what they mean to us. We are attached to our work and those who surround us. We are attached to a definition we used to define ourselves. It can be so many things.
In the midst of big change, we are confronted with so many thoughts and fears. Fears from the past that have nothing to do with the circumstance at hand creep up on us. Abandonment is a b*tch. Some of us have carried a lot on our shoulders or felt the need to rescue a place or people from themselves. Whatever it may be– the dynamic is unveiled strongly at departure.
Change is to be altered; to be made different. It’s always different and new, in some way or another.
As a child growing up, I was no stranger to change. Between kindergarten and the end of 8th grade, I attended 7 different schools. I was always in the middle of change. I was thinking of ways to reinvent myself, and what I could take from my past experience. My little magazines/catalogs, my books and my American Girl dolls– my faithful companions.
I was a pro at change, from a very young age. I know how to pack well, and coordinate an address swap with friends who are turning into pen pals, before my departure. I was always the one leaving. Even after a stable high school and undergraduate experience (thanks, ma), I graduated before my high school peers and then set off on my own adventure– law school in NYC, alone.
Change for me has always been a solitary experience. It has been an experience that I have deeply appreciated, and one that has marked me deeply.
Now that I have my own choices to make and change is in my hands, it has been difficult. I try to approach life through a lens of gratitude and godly wisdom. This means I appreciate what I have because I feel so blessed to have it. I also try to minimize change by making a wise choice from the start.
But then, even then, the constant in life, change, always appears. Relationships evolve (as they should– and this is exciting, but change nonetheless), and new opportunities arise.
I am in a period of big change. I think I felt from the get-go that 2020 would be a year of a lot of changes. I welcome those changes. I am excited. I would also be lying if I didn’t say I am scared sh*tless.
Change has always carried a weight of responsibility. It means a level-up, in my book. No matter what it is. And it causes me to confront who I am, and where I want to go. It’s not something I take lightly. People may think it is cheesy, but I approach life with the utmost solemnity.
I am living it once. Every step I take, I see as a step I am taking for all that I want in the future (family and career), to honor the sacrifices of all who came before me (my family and especially my mother), and to add glory to all I have chosen to represent (which is Christ Jesus).
I have felt held in fear and some sadness, recently. There is always a sadness in letting go and a fear in approaching the unknown. What I do know, is that I was trained for this. Not many people have had the hands-on experience I have had with change. I am a cockroach– I adapt. And regardless of the real fears I have, I know that with God by my side there is nothing I can’t do.
I know exactly who I am (solitude does that to you), and anything new just adds to that person.
Life has its pivotal moments where it calls us out into the foggy unknown. It dares us to let go of the great to pursue the extraordinary.
The iconic Audrey Leighton says that “Extraordinary is only born from extraordinary measures.”
Change– my old close friend, we meet again. I was surprised when you knocked at my door, but my hand is on the knob. Even with the fears I carry inside, we are never strangers. You knew I wouldn’t resist.
We are a part of each other’s stories. We belong to some stories more than others, but there is nothing more powerful than when you get to write your own story. Nothing more important than the role you play in your story. Make it a good one.
“The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength.” Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 11.18.5b
When I read this, it struck a chord. I am not always calm. I have my frenzied moments. Moments where I don’t trust timing, hormonal moments (there should be greeting cards apologizing for PMS– I could use one now), and moments where my patience feels like it has run out. We all have those amplified emotional moments. And then there are the moments where the most dramatic possibility hijacks my brain. Yup. That’s me. (Ever the catastrophic thinker– though I have learned I have been able to tame that a bit).
Do you ever feel frenzied? For some people it’s not frenzy or an exasperated attempt of something, but it may be anger. It may be fear under it all. It may be self-protection or a desire to manipulate. Whatever your worst default mode is– Marcus Aurelius makes a bold point that I agree with: the calmer we are when we handle a situation, the closer we are to strength.
My calm can come from many things. It can come from taking a slow morning and noticing the beauty all around; a tight embrace; a hot tea; a good book; peace granted from God after a vulnerable prayer. In our calm, we find strength. May we always seek out peace. I am hoping we can all live life at our strongest.
That image above is the image the world associates with the Nikki Bella-John Cena breakup. She is crying in that photo.
Nikki Bella (and Brie Bella) announced her (their) pregnancy (Brie’s second child; Nikki’s first), this week. It brought me back to this moment that changed everything.
Nikki’s breakup with John Cena was empowering. It was devastating because it was the rupture of a couple that was adored by many fans, but also, it was a moment that showed a self respect seldom seen among women.
Here was a woman who was done sacrificing herself and the things she so dearly desired for herself. She was done letting a man control her life (his timeline and lack of desire to marry her or give her children), and she did something a lot of women have said shouldn’t be done. She walked away. They called off the wedding he had sworn he would never have (guess he was right).
Her twin sister, Brie Bella, said something in the past to her that was memorable, along the lines of, “You have already sacrificed so much, and I don’t want to see you give up everything just because you are grateful.” (Nikki had expressed that she was grateful that he had finally proposed after several years of dating; she was tiptoeing around issues to not do anything to screw up the chance of marrying him finally).
Now, Nikki Bella has found the love of her life, and now, she will experience two joys she never thought would be possible in the past (marriage and motherhood). Things she would have felt she was forcing her former partner into. She found someone who wants these things as much as she does.
Regardless of whether you find what you are looking for or get what others think of as a happy ending, her story and courage are important. They demonstrate the ultimate happy ending– honoring yourself. She shows women that it’s important to respect yourself.
She says that what you don’t say for fear of f—ing something up, f’s you up inside. She shows women that you can love someone, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that is the best choice for you. She shows what it means to choose a life of joy over a life of settling. She exemplifies a woman who wasn’t trying to manipulate someone, but someone who was fair, and took someone’s communication and inaction for what it was worth. She gave someone else the freedom to be themselves, and importantly, she chose the freedom to be herself.
We can all rip a page out of Nikki Bella’s book. What is the life you dream of? What are your biggest desires? Are you settling? Are you truly listening to people around you and how their actions speak louder than words? Do you respect yourself enough to choose yourself?
She made the toughest choice. She made the best choice. She is living life in a way that honors what she knew to be her purpose. There is no greater satisfaction. It starts with you. If others have the freedom to be themselves and honor themselves, so do you.
“Out of all virtues simplicity is my most favorite virtue. So much so that I tend to believe that simplicity can solve most of the problems, personal as well as the world problems. If the life approach is simple one need not lie so frequently, nor quarrel nor steal, nor envy, anger, abuse, kill. Everyone will have enough and plenty so need not hoard, speculate, gamle, hate. When character is beautiful, you are beautiful. That is the beauty of simplicity.” Ela Bhatt
I agree with Ms. Bhatt. Simplicity is an important virtue that we ignore all too often.
I grew up watching boxing and fighting, from a young age. At the age of four, I was sitting on Muhammad Ali’s lap for a photo (went to pre-school with his son). My grandfather would order the fights on Pay-Per-View– usually on a Saturday night. Puerto Ricans– we are big on our fights. We have produced some of the world’s best fighters.
I always got a thrill from it. Some people see these sports as pure violence, ignoring the discipline and mental strength it requires. I love the discipline, the strength, the bravado and the fact that when you are there to fight, you are there to win.
I think life would be different if we approached it in this way, with: discipline, strength, courage, a pinch of bravado and whole lot of passion to win.
In my head, I have always seen my life like a boxing match. And at the end of it, I am determined to be the one left standing.
[Inspired by Conor McGregor’s comeback against the Cowboy on January 18]
GABRIELA YARELIZ 