GABRIELA YARELIZ

Unity Starts in You and Me

[Image from Heidi’s Bridge]

By: Gabriela Yareliz

People often talk about unity. We talk about power in numbers. We discuss causes for which we should “band together.” Yet, when you see how people live and lead their individual lives, they don’t strive for unity, even on the individual relational level. I don’t mean this in the sense that we outright reject people bluntly, but I think part of a side effect stemming from our society’s narcissism is division. The more obsessed people become with themselves and striving to outdo one another, the farther we become from each other.

What does it mean to strive for unity as individuals, so we as a body of children of God can come together with true unity. According to Thomas Merton, it’s worth exploring what unity is not. He explains:

“People who know nothing of God and whose lives are centered on themselves, imagine that they can only find themselves by asserting their own desires and ambitions and appetites in a struggle with the rest of the world.

They try to become real by imposing themselves on other people, by appropriating for themselves some share of the limited supply of created goods and thus emphasizing the difference between themselves and the other men who have less than they, or nothing at all.

They can only conceive one way of becoming real: cutting themselves off from other people and building a barrier of contrast and distinction between themselves and other men. They do not know that reality is to be sought not in division, but in unity, for we are ‘members one of another.'” (47-48) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

[Image from The Every Girl]

“The man who lives in division is living in death. He cannot find himself because he is lost; he has ceased to be a reality. The person he believes himself to be is a bad dream. And when he dies he will discover that he long ago ceased to exist because God, Who is infinite reality and in whose sight is the being of everything that is, will say to him: ‘I know you not.'” (48) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

I found this thought so fascinating. To live in division is to invite death into your life. This isn’t about having or not having (as far as material goods are concerned) but about where your heart and identity are rooted. The key is to live a life where God does not say “I know you not,” but to live a life where God knows our hearts. And even in our imperfection, when we seek Him, He calls us friend. He calls us son and daughter.

Let us seek unity in our individual existence (with colleagues, family, friends and spouses), and I truly believe that from there we will see it on a larger scale. Let us make sure that we are known by God. Let’s be extra, not in the way we distinguish ourselves, but in the way we love.

True Obstacle

Art by Henri Matisse

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“There is no evil in anything created by God, nor can anything of His become an obstacle to our union with Him. The obstacle is in our ‘self’, that is to say in the tenacious need to maintain our separate, external egotistical will.” (21) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

I feel that those of us who care about self improvement and growth, and even those who don’t, we are searching for the things that stand in our way. But, what if we realized that our greatest obstacle and spring of all issues is in ourselves and not in that which surrounds us.

In an image-driven society that cares almost solely on a mass-accepted aesthetic and popularity, a generation finds itself anxious, defeated and striving toward the illusive.

“[C]reated things do not bring us joy but pain. Until we love God perfectly, everything in the world will be able to hurt us.” (25) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

“Instead of worshipping God through His creation, we are always trying to worship ourselves by means of creatures. But to worship our false selves is to worship nothing. And the worship of nothing is hell.” (26) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

So many give up a real life for applause or a sponsorship nowadays. Which image are we trying to portray to the world? We compartmentalize our lives, and separate parts of our hearts, as if we could do that. Instead, ending up torn and confused. We are spiritual beings who need to have true spiritual growth, not some semblance of it to appease the spectators around us. We live off of false images of ourselves and others.

“The ‘marriage’ of body and soul in one person is one of the things that makes man the image of God; and what God has joined no man can separate without danger to his sanity.” (27) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

When will we learn that we must wholly seek after something. I think part of what we lack as a society is sincerity. No one takes his or her whole self to pursue something. Instead, things are sought out superficially, with ten back up plans, showing we are not wholly invested in something. Rather, we are waiting to see what serves us best. Which ultimately leaves us with nothing of value and cheap convenience.

So, as spiritual beings, how do we find God?

“The only One Who can teach me to find God is God, Himself, Alone.” (36) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

In scripture, God promises simply that when we seek Him with all of our hearts, we will find Him.

“Our discovery of God is, in a way, God’s discovery of us. […] We only know Him in so far as we are known by Him.” (39) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

Getting to know God requires vulnerability. It requires us to put all of our eggs in one basket and leave it at His feet, so to speak. It requires true worship.

Thomas Merton described a sincere seeking of God in the following way:

“This is then what it means to seek God perfectly: to withdraw from illusion and pleasure, from worldly anxieties and desires, from the works that God does not want, from a glory that is only human display; to keep my mind free from confusion in order that my liberty may be always at the disposal of His will; to entertain silence in my heart and listen for the voice of God;

to cultivate an intellectual freedom from the images of created things in order to receive the secret contact of God in obscure love; to love all men as myself; to rest in humility and to find peace in withdrawal from conflict and competition with other men; to turn aside from controversy and put away heavy loads of judgment and censorship and criticism and the whole burden of opinions that I have no obligation to carry;

to have a will that is always ready to fold back within itself and draw all the powers of the soul down from its deepest center to rest in silent expectancy for the coming of God, poised in tranquil and effortless concentration upon the point of my dependence on Him;

to gather all that I am, and have all that I can possibly suffer or do or be, and abandon them all to God in the resignation of a perfect love and blind faith and pure trust in God to do His will.” (45-46) New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton

I pray that we can each take a moment, on this quiet, rainy, NYC Sunday, to reflect. To see that the obstacle standing in the way of who we were created to be and who we are is our “self” and not the erroneous things we seek, but that it all stems from our hearts. And once we go to the root, perhaps we can sit in stillness and decide to wholeheartedly seek after God. For once that happens and you’re all in, God promises He will be found. (Jeremiah 29:13)

Pad Man

Countless Bollywood actors are rising up in support of the film Pad Man, based on the true story of a man whose pad-making skills changed India and women’s health. It’s a fantastic film celebrating a feminine hygiene pioneer. It has been powerful to see some of India’s most famous faces holding a pad. No big deal!

Ending the stigma and ending the shame that is often attached to feminine hygiene products and the female reproductive system is a big endeavor, but I think we can all do our part.

Awakening

[Image from & Other Stories]

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“It is not we who choose to awaken ourselves, but God Who chooses to awaken us.” New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton, 10

What a privilege that God is constantly pursuing us. He is constantly trying to open our eyes to things, as soon as we are willing to receive His Word. He speaks to us, constantly. He loves us, constantly. So, if we cannot awaken ourselves, then, what is our duty or task?

I am fully convinced that we are spiritual beings, and without a relationship with our Creator, something is missing, just as it would be with a parent and child. We cannot have true health, true healing, true love, true peace, true joy, true wellness or true satisfaction, if we don’t have God’s voice speaking into our lives. His presence.

What we need is sincerity. We must sincerely and humbly seek Him. And it is there where we will be found. We are often found, even when we are not looking for Him. He knows our hearts. And once He finds us, if we have the humility to open ourselves up to the most powerful Force and Being in the universe, we find our lives and the very essence of our hearts changed.

He awakens in us a deep faithfulness, honesty, loyalty, peace, compassion and love. He shows us where we must forgive and where we must love more. In doing this, He heals our hearts. He reminds us time and time again that we are loved and valued.

“My one desire and my one joy should be to know: ‘Here is the thing that God has willed for me.’ […] And by accepting all things from Him, I receive His joy into my soul.” New Seeds of Contemplation, Thomas Merton, 17-18

I pray that this evening, and forever after, you allow yourself to be found. That you may allow yourself to be awakened. That you may hear His voice and be receptive to His love. And that by accepting His will and providence in your life, that you may find joy and peace. May you embrace the unforgettable journey you were made to walk.

Broken Brain

Current obsession alert! This weekend only, if you follow this link and sign up by email, you can get access to a link with all 8 episodes of the docuseries Broken Brain, by Dr. Hyman. He discusses: disease, depression, anxiety, stress, ADHD, autism, brain injuries, levels of toxicity in the body, hormones, gut health, and solutions to upkeep a sharp mind, no matter what your stage in life.

It’s science-backed, comprehensive and fascinating. This is a doctor who understands that one part of the body affects another, and it can certainly affect the mind.

Also discussed are:

Nutrition
Exercise
Sleep
Stress management
Relationship and connection

Check it out, if you have the time this weekend. It’s worth the binge!

Finding Joy In Dark Times

“Joy doesn’t demand that trouble is removed from our life, but rather that we savor any good gift in dark times.” Flourish: 21 Ways To Thrive Before 45, The Bible App

By: Gabriela Yareliz

There are many times when joy seems like a fleeting notion. There are circumstances where it is thought inappropriate to feel joy. There are times where it’s all we desperately want, but it seems out of reach.

I have been surrounded by a lot of sadness recently, and sadness has intruded into certain aspects of my own life.

One can feel like a walking zombie, aching with hurt. It may be hurt where someone who hurt us disregards us and seems happy anyway; hurt of abandonment; hurt of feeling like someone important to you favors someone else who you feel has hurt you; hurt from illness; hurt from betrayal; hurt from exploitation; hurt from loneliness; hurt. Whatever the root.

But still, scripture promises joy. Joy despite circumstances— not joy dependent on circumstances. Joy rooted in God that serves as a source of strength.

Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)

I came across the quote at the top of the post, and it touched me. It was what I needed for the morning. A reminder that joy is rooted in gratitude and worship. It is rooted in clinging to the sliver of light that glows softly in the darkness. Keeping the flame burning. It’s always needed. It should be lasting. It’s always appropriate. And it is promised.

Sunday Girl: January 14, 2018

Happy Sunday, friends.

I wanted to start off the week with some curated encouragement straight from my inbox.

We don’t know what the week holds for us, but we know that what we have is today. Today, we can prep, rest and recalibrate.

I loved the following quotes and articles:

“Life will eventually bring you to your knees. Either you will be on your knees cursing the universe and begging for a different life, or you will be brought to your knees by gratitude and awe, deeply embracing the life you have, too overwhelmed by the beauty of it all to stand or even speak. Either way, they are the same knees.” Kusha Alagband

“Prioritize yourself,
feel the impact of your own attention.
Trust your mistakes,
they’re the ones God needed to mention to you.
Welcome your past,
find the meaning in the teachings.
Investigate your leadership
(you’re a woman; you’re always leading).
Remember yourself.
You are the one who’s never leaving.”
—Elena Brower, yogi, mama, author, and speaker, taken from How To Grow Confident In Your Own Beauty From The Most Radiant Women We Know

An awesome article to check out:

6 Easy Things To Do On Sunday That Will Improve Your Week

Podcast I am loving: Style Your Mind

I hope you have a relaxing, reflective Sunday. Take the time to take care of yourself. Have a moment of silence. Be blessed.

XOXO

Words from Benjamin Hoff

“In other words, everything has its own place and function. That applies to people, although many don’t seem to realize it, stuck as they are in the wrong job, the wrong marriage, or the wrong house. When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don’t belong.” pg. 40, The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff

“[I]nstead of saying, ‘This isn’t supposed to be happening this way,’ and trying hard to make it happen some other way […] if you are in tune with The Way Things Work, then they work the way they need to, no matter what you may think about it at the time. Later on, you can look back and say, ‘Oh, now I understand. That had to happen so that those could happen, and those had to happen in order for this to happen…’ Then you realize that even if you tried to make it all turn out perfectly, you couldn’t have done better, and if you’d really tried, you would have made a mess of the whole thing.” pg. 80, The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff

“The Clouds above us join and separate, the breeze in the courtyard leaves and returns. Life is like that, so why not relax? Who can stop us from celebrating.” pg. 113 (Citing Lu Yu), The Tao of Pooh, by Benjamin Hoff

Transformation

“Change is inevitable, but transformation is a conscious choice.” Heather Ash Amara

By: Gabriela Yareliz

The quote above has been my lock screen wallpaper now, for months. (Thank you The Chalkboard Mag!) It has been a sort of theme in my life.

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7)

King Solomon gives us his words of wisdom. I stumbled upon these, this morning.

I then read the following quote:

“The spiritual transformation proposed by God is brought about through our thinking, through our thought processes.”

[pg. 15, Stewardship: Motives of the Heart, by John H. H. Matthews]

Transformation, if we seek it, begins in the mind. Our thoughts, contrary to what many believe, are subject to our control. And interestingly enough, our thought choices then control how we feel. Our emotions do not control our thoughts, unless we allow them to. We have the power to choose our thoughts and have our emotions follow.

This is a powerful message that is a game changer. I hope that as the new year is beginning, you feel empowered. Empowered to not only let change happen to you, but empowered to seek transformation in the midst of it.

Whatever you are seeking— whether it is a spiritual, mental, body, relational, health, and/or style/presentation transformation, it starts in your mind. We are made up of thoughts. Choose what you think, and therefore, choose who you will be.

On the mind, tip: When we are faced with something that we know needs improvement, a step we often overlook is that rather than focusing on the negative, like focusing on subtracting things, we should focus on adding things. What do I mean by this? This doesn’t mean some things don’t have to go. It’s likely some things will need to go or be eliminated. But, rather than focusing all your energy there, see what needs to go, but focus on adding positive things that will help your situation.

In diet, think: What can I add to my diet that will bring more nutrients and feed wellness in my life, rather than making a huge list of things to remove.

In a relationship, think: What can I do differently and add to my behavior to improve the relationship, rather than focusing on a list of negatives.

In body transformation, think: What extra movement can I add to my day, rather than spending the extra five minutes in front of the mirror dissecting what I don’t like.

Let’s focus on the positive. Where we lead our thoughts, our hearts will follow. Practice makes perfect. And remember, if you aren’t controlling your thoughts, something is or they may well be completely out of control.

Choose to add something positive to your days in 2018. Choose to guide your thoughts to where you want to go as a person. For, scripture reminds us, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.”

Those New Year Vibes

“Being positive in a negative situation is not naive. It’s leadership.”

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s freezing, guys. Seriously. Like, it feels like -14F. The snow cyclone almost blew me away, yesterday. Literally. But I am still here. *grin* I was exhausted on my walk from the train to my apartment. I almost knelt in the snow and cried, as the wind and snow pelted me down. But it was fear of getting buried in 10 seconds by the fast-falling snow that kept me moving, until I got inside.

[ENOUGH ABOUT MY SNOW DRAMA]

I loved a mini reflection questionnaire @marieforleo posted, and I thought I would reflect and invite you to reflect, as well.

Here we go… 2017 is behind us!

What was your most important accomplishment and why?

I think that what I accomplished health-wise, in my life, was a huge accomplishment. It’s a work in progress, but I have been able to achieve less symptoms and a healthier feeling, through diet, supplements and discipline. And this is coming from the person who before couldn’t even remember to take her daily vitamins. My symptoms and health took a turn for the worse at the beginning for 2017, and by the end of 2017, I was more educated, more in control and more determined.

It was also a great year, as far as professional accomplishments are concerned. I had an amazing year with my love, and visited family a lot. I also got to reconnect with some old friends, which was a blessing.

What was your biggest lesson and why is that important?

I think being in a relationship is a learning curve. You are constantly learning about a person you love who is different from you, and he/she is learning about you. In the day-to-day living, you learn to face different things, emotions, insecurities and dreams together. It’s an amazing experience. I think my greatest lessons have come from the amazing relationship in my life that constantly teaches me more about who God is and all He has in store for us. I have grown as a person, and I also know where I need to grow more. And it is an amazing feeling to know someone is there through thick and thin for you, despite your flaws. It’s an amazing thing to know what you want to fight for and then fight like hell for it. 🙂

What are you ready to let go of?

Negativity. So ready to keep negativity and toxicity out and bring in positivity and joy. People sometimes think it’s a virtue to be a “realist” or to be cynical or negative. I heard recently that practice makes perfect, and if you complain or decide to be negative, you become good at it. I don’t want that in my life. I love the opening quote to this post. And I believe it. Leadership is an important quality, to me.

What are you most excited to create and experience in 2018?

The thing I am most excited about is spending more time with the man I love. I am excited about growing projects like Modern Witnesses, meeting more amazing young women who hustle, continuing to improve my health and experiencing things I haven’t dreamed about yet!

How is that for the first week of the year? I am giddy ~~like a child~~ about 2018. It’s unbelievable we are here. I can still remember my little hand, with a pencil in it, writing 1998 for the date on a school worksheet.