Planner

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Not to sound like Pat Benatar, but life is a battlefield, and I am that woman. The planner. Always prepared. I always used my school planner, when I was younger. I even decorated it. I still have the same system, except now it’s in an Outlook calendar. My days have time slots, where I put in my tasks.

I have tons of little Notes on my phone, with lists and ideas. I use sticky notes and stationary lists to organize my week, as well. I am like Jane from 27 Dresses. You can pretty much understand my life by looking at my calendar(s).

I make charts for my 60 active cases, at work. I draft timelines and worksheets. I thoroughly clip together relevant documents and information, in case there is a trial later on. I scan copies of everything. That’s me. It’s like every act is strategic, preparing me for some potential step in the future.

I know that life has its large fuzzy areas of unpredictability. I appreciate that some of my best memories are moments I created spontaneously, without planning. And I know there is a lot in life one cannot plan. That said, there is a lot in life you can plan.

I appreciate my planning ways. It’s not about perfectionism or control all the time, but it’s about moving forward. I am ambitious and curious. I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today, at such a young age, had it not been for God, my discipline, my hard work and my strategy.

Life has never been easy, nor have I had things handed to me. I had to hustle, and basically go to a drawing board and try to envision a map from where I was standing to where I wanted to be.

And while some think it’s a crazy way to live, I think life accomplishments of those who plan prove the contrary. I think the key is to have planning save you from the nervous breakdown versus planning inducing a nervous breakdown. Always a delicate balance.

Life needs order. Take it from someone who was mistaken to be the wedding planner at her best friend’s wedding. There comes a time where everyone needs to know where to stand and what to do next.

Life is a battlefield, and a soldier needs to be trained and ready, to have a chance at winning.

I know that in this life, I don’t just want to be a soldier. I want to be a general. I will always be planning my next move because there is so much still left to conquer.

Sunday Girl: June 18, 2017

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Happy Father’s Day to all the papas out there!

We are starting a new week! Last week, I celebrated one year with my love, and I ate a giant artichoke for the first time. It was peculiarly good.

I feel like life has been such an adventure. I have been learning so much about myself. (How terribly I manage stress and worry, but how persistent and stubborn I can be). And I have learned how amazing and patient the people around me are. Thank you.

I am excited about so many things!! (Yes, that was worth two exclamation points. My reporting professor is cringing somewhere in the world).

I believe in love that never gives up.
I believe in navy.
I believe in investing all you have in family and building the relationships that matter most.
I believe in being gluten free.
I believe in talking.
I believe in silence.
I believe in almond milk (even though it tastes like crap).
I believe that with God all things are possible.
I believe that God makes all things new.
I believe in redemption.
I believe in faith and hope.
I believe a good mascara can frame the world differently.
I believe in starting the day off with prayer.
I believe in big hair and a big smile.
I believe in southern charm.

As we start a new week, I share some words that have inspired me:

“God wants a child’s heart, but a grownup’s head. He wants us to be simple, single-minded, affectionate, and teachable, as a good children are; but He also wants every bit of intelligence we have to be alert at its job, and in first-class fighting trim.”
C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity

“No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater…The love we have for each other is bigger than these small differences. And that’s the key. It’s like a big pie chart, and the love in a relationship has to be the biggest piece. Love can make up for a lot.” Sarah Dessen, This Lullaby  

“What an astonishing thing a book is. Across the millennia, an author is speaking clearly and silently inside your head, directly to you. Writing is perhaps the greatest of human inventions, binding together people who never knew each other, citizens of distant epochs. Books break the shackles of time.”
Carl Sagan

“The great and central basis of Christian assurance is not how much our hearts are set on God but how unshakably His heart is set on us.”
Timothy Keller

“Somebody who betters you. Somebody who inspires and encourages you in love
and in life, who pushes you towards
dreams and goals you’d otherwise ignore, who selflessly sacrifices their time to helping you become a more courageous, well rounded and happy human being.
That’s sacred. You hold on to a love like that.”
Beau Taplin, “Growth “

“The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you’ll see their flaws. That’s just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don’t last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they’re out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness’ sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it’s seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship.”
love is deliberate. (via theriverjordyn)

“The wonderful thing about praying is that you leave a world of not being able to do something, and enter God’s realm where everything is possible. He specializes in the impossible. Nothing is too great for His almighty power. Nothing is too small for His love.”
Corrie Ten Boom

“What happens when people open their hearts?’ ‘They get better.”
Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

“When the right one comes along, you figure it out. You move mountains, you change your life and you do whatever it takes to keep them with you.”
Jay Crownover, Jet

I AM THE “ME” IN ENDOMETRIOSIS

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Hello beautiful friends!

This post is about a campaign close to my heart: Get in the Know about ME in EndoMEtriosis. I had been learning a lot about this disease after I heard Julianne Hough was diagnosed with it, and then, my interest grew after I myself was diagnosed with it. It’s because of this that I feel it’s important to raise awareness about endometriosis, a chronic and painful disease that affects an estimated one in 10 women. I am the one in 10.

In high school, I developed horrible cramps that led to vomiting and often enough, fainting. I also had extremely heavy bleeding during my periods. The doctor said it was normal, and she told me to drink teas to lessen the pain and that maybe it would help with the bleeding. I continued to suffer and pass out in random places. I was even tested for hypoglycemia, just in case. I remember many nights lying on my cold bathroom floor next to the toilet, ready to vomit, shaking from the pain; praying silent prayers that the Advil would soon kick in. I learned to recognize the signs of when I was going to faint. I would lose my hearing first, and then, I would black out. I knew my symptoms well, and this is how I learned to deal. I took the bar exam experiencing this pain, for crying out loud. Now, I feel like I should get a trophy.

This year, during a routine exam, my doctor told me to go see a specialist. I figured I was gaining weight, so I had been doing a lot of abdominal exercises. It turns out it was inflammation in my abdomen, not additional weight. I met with the gynecologist, and I found out that I had endometriosis.

By this time, I had a slight suspicion. I figured being diagnosed wouldn’t change anything, but put a name to the pain. The diagnosis meeting was actually pretty traumatizing. The specialist focused on risks of ovarian cancer, infertility and told me I needed to have blood work done to check for tumor markers. He said I needed surgery ASAP. I left the office in tears. These things will send a young woman, hopeful of having children in the future, into a spiral.

I finally got my sonogram report, and I sat down with my doctor. We discussed the report. It turns out there are some alternatives before surgery. Thankfully, the report looked like it belonged to a healthy young woman. Every person is different and needs to work out a proper plan to manage the condition. I am still on my journey to figuring that out.

I have been educating myself a lot about the disease. I think there are several important messages that I want to convey:
The first is that you are not alone. The second is that you have to do what is right for you and be empowered. I decided that I could either let my thoughts cripple me (and they were crippling me, believe me), or I could decide that I would take charge and manage my pain, the best I can as I have been doing, but with a more targeted approach. Also, there will never be a lack of surgeons who just want to slice you open. You need to make sure that is what is best for you.

I am a huge believer in using nature to heal ourselves. I found great resources from doctors who use holistic healing methods. One study revealed that some of these supplements reduced tissue, and inflammation; some women canceled their surgeries and others got pregnant. This reversal of symptoms in the Italian study is a big deal.

I have decided to harness my diet a bit more and be a bit more disciplined with my diet, supplements and exercise. I am leaving a fantastic link here, which changed my view and approach (it includes more on the Italian study). Thank you, Goop, for your holistic focus on wellness and your informative resources.

Back to #MEinEndo– This campaign’s purpose is to inspire women to learn about the disease and share their stories. Women’s stories have helped me, and I want to add my voice to the conversation.

I am the ME in EndoMEtriosis! “I’m here to show women what the face of this disease looks like. By spreading the word, I hope to help women address their symptoms so they don’t go through years of debilitating pain.”

“Check out MEinEndo.com to ‘get in the know’ about endometriosis and its symptoms and download the great resources available to help start a conversation with your healthcare provider. You can also ‘stay in the know‘ by signing up to receive more information about endometriosis and updates from the campaign.

Join me in sharing your story by using #MEinEndo or even if you don’t have endometriosis, find the next ‘ME’ and encourage her to share her story.

Together, we can change the way endometriosis is understood.” (Citing Julianne Hough’s campaign post).

I will continue to update you on my journey.

#endowarriors

[insert Wonder Woman here]
🙂

GY

Enjoy the Silence

By: Gabriela Yareliz

(From earlier this week).

I am writing this sitting in St. Paul’s Church. My hand curled around the edge of the pew, where I felt a piece of ancient gum that has probably been under the pew for longer than I have been alive. It didn’t even bother me.

I am here on a silent retreat of sorts. Sometimes, I feel like everything I do in efforts to help a situation just makes it worse.

I am just going to keep silent, for now. Today, I had two hours of silence. And yet, still my mind was loud. Eventually, by the time my hand found the ancient gum, everything, including my disgust was silent.

I looked around, at the statues around me. Goodbye, Virgin Mary. Goodbye, apostles. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you for welcoming me into your silence, today. I stepped out of the cathedral, into the noise and blinding light.

Sabbath Inspiration: June 10, 2017

“But you must stubbornly walk into that room, regardless, and you must hold your head high. You made it; you get to put it out there. Never apologize for it, never explain it away, never be ashamed of it. You did your best with what you knew, and you worked with what you had, in the time that you were given. You were invited, and you showed up, and you simply cannot do more than that.” Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic, 263-264

Monday Inspiration: June 5, 2017

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I am on my lunch break, thinking back at something my mom suggested, which is entirely true. As I am facing my newest hurdle in this magical and mysterious thing called life, she reminded me, “This is not like one of your cases that you can just resolve.” What is it about losing control that sort of drives us crazy? I like to be prepared, efficient, and precise. My profession is known for manipulating circumstances and people to get the outcome we want.

Maybe that is my biggest fear of all– not being able to be all of those things in a particular circumstance. However, God wants us to lay down our burdens at His feet and acknowledge His sovereignty and control over all things, trusting in His perfect love. He wants us to enter situations with the knowledge that we are His children, first and foremost.

I hope you find inspiration today. Today, I am going to learn to rest in God. I need to learn it, because this is not a case.

These are some words that have inspired me, lately:

“I hope you go out there and let stories happen to you and that you will water them, water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.” Kusha Alagband
“To me, when you can read honesty through beauty, that is sort of an important trait of character. It is what translates to beauty for me.” Charlotte Gainsbourg

“You only fall apart in front of the people you know can piece you back together.” Sarah Dessen, Saint Anything, pg 387

“No genuine book has a first page. Like the rustling of the forest, it is begotten God knows where, and it grows and it rolls, arousing the dense wilds of the first until suddenly… it begins to speak with all the treetops at once.” Boris Pasternak

“A piece of writing is like a piece of magic. You create something out of nothing.” Susanna Clarke
“The only way to fight sin is to choose something bigger.”
J.S. Park from The Christianese Dating Culture
“You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life.”
Jiddu Krishnamurti
“The two most powerful words when we’re in a place of struggle are ‘me too’.” Brene Brown

“Having faith is believing that God does not lie.” Dr. Tony Evans

Stained Glass Windows

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

By: Gabriela Yareliz

When darkness rolls in, it’s intimidating. It demands an adjustment in our vision, both literally and in more profound ways.

I think I have realized that almost everyone (including myself) is self-absorbed. We each have our own darkness to grapple with at different points in life. Often, the darkness each one of us faces in life is one we mostly face on our own. Because no one sits in our pew, so to speak, nor does anyone stand in our shoes. It’s individual.

I read something yesterday that really made me think. It was an older woman stating that we can’t live like we are dead, before we are dead. We do this when fear paralyzes us. Or perhaps when we do something I am guilty of, when we assume the worst will happen.

I think we need time to process certain things, time to figure things out, which is normal, but then, we have to move on. We need to live.

I don’t want to live in fear or pain. I have always wanted to be a warrior. I think I have been one, in certain times of my life, and right now, I feel like an exhausted warrior. And I think I have been unfair to those around me, wanting to be carried by them, when only I can stand on my two feet.

I want to be strong. So, I am asking God to be my strength because I feel very small. I know that in certain types of darkness, only we know the extent of our disappointment, fear and pain, but we keep that small flame alive inside. We guard it from every gust of wind that tries to take it out because it will warm us and guide us into brighter days.

One of Them

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By: Gabriela Yareliz

I am always inspired by the stunning Sonam Kapoor at Cannes.

I loved a quote in one of her most recent posts:

“I know who I am. I am not perfect. I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. But I’m one of them.” Mary J. Blige

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[Photos from @sonamkapoor]