Yesterday, I got to go to the prettiest part of Long Island. It was gorgeous; one of those neighborhoods that makes you want to bake apple pies, wear an apron, and buy matching napkin rings for a long table.
There was a large park with lots of green grass and a gorgeous giant gazebo in the middle with plenty of American flags hanging off of it. Brick sidewalks, and it was so quiet it inspired you to talk in hushed tones.
I loved it. There were a lot of plants, children, and adorable elderly people. Places like that kind of leave you dreaming.
I also wandered a bookstore as a break, during the day. I found some books I adored as a child. Who knew the children’s section at Barnes & Noble could be so nostalgic?
I leave you now with some things that have inspired me in the last couple of days. Unfortunately, I can’t give you, in words, the neighborhood I visited, but I can leave you with the following:
“Life is short, yet love is infinite, and bountiful, and ever-present, and closer than the next breath. So do not look for love; do not wait for it; do not expect it on-demand. But know it. Know its presence, the intimacy of it. Feel it whispering in your ear.” Jeff Foster
“But the Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside of him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 63
“God became man to turn creatures into sons: not simply to produce better men of the old kind but to produce a new kind of man.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, 216
“You never know when a few sincere words can have an impact on a life.” Zig Ziglar
“As soon as healing takes place, go out and heal somebody else.” Maya Angelou
“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” Maya Angelou
“Even if someone were to prove to me that truth lay outside Christ, I should choose to remain with Christ rather than with the truth.” Fydor Dostoyevsky
“For broken dreams, the cure is, dream again and deeper.”
— C.S. Lewis // Dymer, Canto 6.24
“I make my body a living prayer whose force would shake the mountains.”
“Print is predictable and impersonal, conveying information in a mechanical transaction with the reader’s eye. Handwriting, by contrast, resists the eye, reveals its meaning slowly, and is as intimate as skin.”
Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being
“That’s what it feels like when I write, like I have this beautiful world in my head, but when I try to remember it in order to write it down, I change it, and I can’t ever get it back.”
Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being
“Sometimes you don’t need words to say what’s in your heart.”
Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being
Don’t worry– this is not a post about the ridiculously self-centered women of the HBO hit show. Nor is this a sex column, à la Carrie Bradshaw.
I was on the train this morning, and I saw so many advertisements and things that were so sexually suggestive. The city plagues you with images, suggestions, ideas. I was thinking, though, about this topic of sex a lot after my friend’s bridal shower, recently. It seemed like that was all certain people were talking about at the house that long weekend; virginity, lingerie and Victoria’s well-kept secret. Advice about “pleasing a husband” floated around, tension and excitement mingled in the air. I remember us sitting in the dinning room, with all the Latin aunts and grandmothers, in conference, each imparting her wisdom.
People have a misunderstanding or wrong perception about Christian’s views on sex. Christians are perceived as prudes or people who believe that the human body and pleasure is flat out sinful. And while there may be people who really do agree with such sentiments, the truth is that scripture is clear– sexuality was created by God, and within its appropriate context, it is a beautiful, healthy mirror of God’s relational nature and love.
Dating brings many of us Christian, aspiring-to-remain-pure young women into conversations about boundaries. Cue Jane the Virgin’s “I am a virgin, and I am saving myself until marriage” speech. Hard lines are drawn, and then many things are decided on principle. The principle of purity.
Some men are respectful and willing to wait; others get a look on their face that says it all; and some, say that it is fine and then later try to pressure you into doing what they want. If you are a woman who wants this and has made this commitment, it takes commitment and integrity (yeah, we could call it that– integrity). I also acknowledge that there are men who are committed to purity, like Tim Tebow, for example. But as this is coming from a woman’s perspective, I continue…
I once met a guy whose manipulation line and tactic started with: “In Spain, this is not how we do things–”
I was like, “Well, welcome to America, my friend! It’s not happening.”
Purity is an interesting concept in Christianity, given that it is an ideal that was seldom modeled by any biblical heroes. In fact, what one sees is a lot of broken people with messed up marriages, multiple simultaneous marriages, women of questionable reputation– lots of non-model like behavior. No one gets particularly lectured for anything in particular nor are there any strong object lessons in the stories of people like David and Solomon. David certainly gets some consequences after he kills a man to take his wife (the adultery situation), but nothing is mentioned or deemed as dreadfully wrong regarding all of his other wives and women around the palace. People’s sexual exploits and backgrounds are left usually in the faded background.
Thankfully, we don’t look to them for examples in these areas. Instead, we look to Christ, Creator of every aspect of our being. We look to the fact that we must offer ourselves to God as pure, knowing He is pure and holy.
Purity is a theme I would like to examine more closely, maybe not here right now, but on my own time. And I mean purity in the biblical sense, not in the exaggerated, hypocritical puritanical way, as reflected in books like the Scarlet Letter, where repressed societies wreak havoc on those who publicly make mistakes, while living in their own private messy entanglements that are no better.
It’s not hard to fall into puritanical ways of thinking. Extremes in any which way are bad. I recall at my friend’s wedding, I was helping her change into her “honeymoon getaway” dress. We were trying to slip her out of her 50 lbs. wedding dress, when the groom walked in to change into something more comfortable. We were in the reception hall’s small, private back room.
I kind of mentally freaked out. I kept trying to make sure the bride’s strapless bra didn’t fall, and I tried helping her change while
simultaneously covering her. It then struck me how ridiculous I was being. I was helping her change as if she was my four-year-old child. Instead, she was now a married woman, in front of her husband.
As Carrie Bradshaw later discovers, sex is not just some empty thing devoid of romance. You can act like
it so, but that didn’t work out so well for her. After all, she wanted Mr. Big, not Aiden or any of the others, right? I don’t know much about this show, having never watched a complete episode (can’t really stand the women and their antics), but through pop culture, a Wikipedia search and some YouTube clips, the storyline isn’t hard to gather. She wanted Mr. Big.
Love fills us, and we realize that things aren’t about hard facts or hard lines, they are about principles. Principles often will require hard lines to be drawn, naturally, but the motivation to carry it out and stay within such lines and keep such lines intact must be the principle, which is so much more profound. If not, it’s empty. Isn’t that legalism? Doing something just because a rule or line of text says so without seeing the beauty and the purpose behind it?
The hard lines and boundaries are like lines on a page. The principles and emotions that accompany are the poem that is written on top of the guiding lines.
Not anyone will do, as Carrie Bradshaw discovered. The Jane the Virgin speech is totally valid. And there are times to keep your shirt on and times where it’s okay if it comes off (especially, when it’s honeymoon time).
No one wants to drink bottled water with some soil or dirt sprinkled in. A lot of us like pure water. Purity in other aspects of life is also refreshing, and it goes a long way.
Purity goes beyond word or deed. It’s all about the heart. Actually, that is where it begins…
“I have come to trust life completely, trust even the times when I forget how to trust at all, trust that life doesn’t always go according to plan, because there is no plan, only life, and even the times of great uncertainty hold supreme intelligence, and sometimes you have to fall to stand more fearlessly, with greater kindness.
And somehow I am always held, in a way I cannot explain and do not want to. I may be crushed yet again before too long, I may experience further seemingly insurmountable challenges and heartbreaks, but somehow I am always held. Somehow, I am always held.”
Today, Elie Wiesel passed away, at the age of 87. Most of us remember his memoirs and the Night Trilogy. That death march in the book Night is one that few forget.
I have been fascinated by Wiesel’s writing and thoughts on religion. Being a survivor of the Holocaust hints to the fact that he was Jewish (not all oppressed and killed in the Holocaust were Jewish, duly noted). I read an interesting piece about him (cited at the bottom of the post) that walked through his beliefs, as reflected in his writings. I think it’s both haunting and healing that he wrote down his experiences to share with the world. A gift, truly.
One sees several phases in his faith: His hopes of God’s intervention in the Holocaust horrors, his slight doubt once his expectations are not fulfilled, his exposition on why God’s existence cannot be denied; and then, his attempt to reconcile God’s existence and the fact that the horrors happened, which leads to many questions about where God is in the midst of our suffering.
A quote from The Gates of the Forest:
“‘How can you not believe in God after what has happened?'”([Gates], 194)
Gregor: Man’s fall is an accusation against the Creator, who bears his share of responsibility for the betrayal.
Rebbe: All the more reason to choose faith and devotion. Be pure and God will be purified in you.
Gregor: Why? I owe God nothing. Quite the contrary.
Rebbe: That’s not the question. He owes you nothing, either. You don’t live his life and he doesn’t live yours. You owe yourself something. What exactly, that’s the question. ([Gates], 196)
“For suffering contains the secret of creation and its dimension of eternity; it can be pierced only from the inside. Suffering betters some people and transfigures others. At the end of suffering, of mystery, God awaits us…” ([Gates], 201)
I actually don’t want to debate the complex question of evil in the world or where God is in our suffering. That is not the point of the post, even though it’s intertwined with what will be discussed. Coming from a Christian worldview, I see God as a God of love. When I am in pain and horrified, He is in even more pain and horrified. I do believe God feels pain for us and with us. Pain and perfection are not mutually exclusive. And our perversion of our freedom to choose has caused God much pain. Often, we have chosen pain for ourselves and those around us.
That said, we all have our questions that arise at different moments in our lives. What I do want to discuss is the notion in the quote below… The fact that we have the right to ask.
“We do not demand answers, God. But if this is the last page of the human chronicles, assure us that we had the right to ask.” ([The Six Days of Destruction], 55)
This is where I truly believe that religion is not an empty set of rules. There are guidelines for optimal living, sure. Those exist. But if they are not rooted in love for God and our fellow man, if love is not the underlying current– the guidelines and values mean nothing. Religion, true religion, is about relationship with a Creator who is far beyond all we imagine or think. It is our expectations and ideas that get in the way of seeing the image of God. Relationship means there is a dynamic. Relationships grow, stretch, shatter, heal.
God owes us nothing and does not need to give us explanations. God cannot be comprehended by our finite minds, nor do we understand His ways. God is God. He defines Himself.
“When will you understand that you are living and searching in error, because God means movement and not explanation.”([Legends of Our Time], 93).
I have not gone through anything even half as horrifying as a Holocaust. I don’t know the pain of losing a child or the anguish of facing death, face-to-face. I don’t even know where Wiesel’s journey of faith begins or ends; I don’t need to know. I do know that I see suffering every day. I see people who seem to have gone mad from all the loss and betrayal they have experienced. I have seen people be abandoned and hurt. I have experienced pain. I have seen other versions of pain. We all have.
I just wanted to speak to Wiesel’s wisdom. We may not find answers to all of our questions. No. I mean, who are we kidding? I wonder if God ever questions why we would ever choose anything other than His goodness and love… Does He wonder why we would choose hate rather than love or self destruction rather than healing?
But the beauty about a relationship with God is that it is raw and real. We have permission to ask. Our questions do not offend God. We have permission to be our flawed selves and know we are loved. We have permission to be angry with God. Look at the book of Job. Job cries out in anguish, sickness, loss, confusion and suffering. Job wrestles with God, so to speak. God, regardless of how we feel, how we misunderstand Him, how we understand Him, how we agree or disagree with Him– He is present. That is also seen in Job’s story. I think that if we look close enough, we can see His presence in each of our stories.
God doesn’t ask us to be robots or expect us to blindly accept things. He is our Creator. He has made us to feel, question, trust, hope– and more than that, He doesn’t leave us. He can restore. He can heal. I like asking questions. Maybe, when I see God face to face, I will ask him questions from my own list. But questions don’t negate the small miracles we witness and experience. Maybe we don’t get the liberation or dramatic intervention we would prefer, but this hardly leaves us abandoned and forsaken.
A child may go to a doctor to get a vaccine or stitches for an injury. The parent may hold the child’s hand and try to distract the child from the pain. The pain is still there, but so is the loving parent.
Wiesel states in The Gates of the Forest: at the end of suffering, God awaits us… I believe that God does not await us just at the end of suffering. I don’t think life is a walk in the park, even when one chooses to honor God, however…
I do believe in the God that is described by the prophet Isaiah. A God who has promised:
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you…” Isaiah 43:2
So, while I walk through my own waters and flames, I will shamelessly keep asking questions. When I am angry, I may ask in anger. When I am sad, I may ask while weeping. The point is: My asking reflects the knowledge that I know He is there listening.
Inspired by (and some quotes pulled from): Elie Wiesel’s Relationship with God
By Robert E. Douglas, Jr., at: http://www.stsci.edu/~rdouglas/publications/suff/suff.html
Today, I was reminded of a friend of mine. Maybe, it’s more appropriate to use the term ex-friend.
We had a weird dynamic and a weirder falling out. We spent lots of time together. It was one of those friendships where you know how the other person thinks and his or her reasoning in arriving to certain conclusions.
Our friendship, and everything else, as stated prior, fell apart. It was a weird friendship breakup. He had a vision of what he wanted his life to be. He knew how he wanted to look, what kind of a woman he wanted draped on his arm, the parties he would attend, the kinds of “friends” he wanted to have, and the image he wanted to project. It wasn’t who he was, but that is what he wanted. What’s worse, that is what he pursued.
He decided to go for money, fake, uncaring people, clothes that was too tight and glasses that were too big. It was all about an image. An empty image. Pretty soon, that image became a world. A world that I didn’t fit into anymore. A world that didn’t work out well for him, anyway. The only difference was that at the end, I was no longer there to pick up the pieces. I simply faded. Like fog that lifts. It was liberating and unburdening. I managed to escape the black hole.
Maybe, we all have an image of what we want our lives to look like. We won’t all fit in each other’s worlds. Some of us won’t want other’s worlds. And sometimes, you meet a person whose world you are determined to be a part of. Those are the most interesting stories of all– the ones where the world’s stop being separate planets spinning side-by-side, and instead, one becomes a moon; independent but also a bright reflector of the other.
The U.S. Supreme Court affirmed the lower court decision in United States v Texas, where the court blocked Obama’s executive action to give a particular category of undocumented parents discretionary status (DAPA). SCOTUS affirmed via a tied vote, 4-4.
Next, British Prime Minister David Cameron resigned. Yes. You heard right. In a historic referendum, the U.K. voted to leave the European Union. “Brexit” has been voted for. The EU was described in an article I read this morning as a “failed political union.”
The news is sending shockwaves around the world. And the world is changing quickly. Blink, and you just might miss it!
“Your destiny isn’t the things you’re going to do, it’s the people you’re going to love.” Shawn Bolz
By: Gabriela Yareliz
I decided to take a quick break from typing up a motion. Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there.
I can’t believe the summer is evaporating this quickly. MID JUNE PEOPLE. Mid June. I am calming my hysteria. Ha. The sweet heat has finally arrived to NYC, even though our evenings and sunsets are fresh and filled with a chilly breeze. I still get cold once in a while.
A childhood friend is getting married this upcoming weekend, and there is so much to do before then.
It has been a hectic summer, so far. I don’t even know why I say that. My life is hectic, period. No matter what time, season or speed. The day my life isn’t hectic, I guess I will mention that.
I just wanted to say hello and leave some little things that have inspired me over the past few days. I have had a lot of food for thought. Many hopes. Many dreams. Many promises. Life can really surprise us.
If only we could put Windex on life.
And despite the messiness of life, I am convinced God wants to bring something great out of all of this.
Sometimes, inspiration is hard to come by. Sometimes, we are simply to preoccupied to see it. And sometimes, inspiration overwhelms us.
Wherever you are, stay inspired, my beautiful friends.
“You fall in love with the little things about someone, like the sound of their laughter and the way their smile forms.” The Weeknd
“Focus more on how much you have done, how honest it is and how it moves you forward. Focus less on how many people have seen it.” Anonymous
“She is a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes.” Charles Bukowski
“You are beautiful because you let yourself feel, and that is a brave thing indeed.” Shinji Moon
“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” Jane Goodall
I hope you find a love that says more than “good morning.” I hope you find a love that says “I’m here to stay.” And I hope that in fifty years, you’ll see that the love was true to their word.
I’ll try not to make this a rambling post, but I am just spilling out of my glass right now; overwhelmed with so much– good and bad.
I feel it has been a while since I came by these parts. Life has been insanely busy. I feel like I barely sleep, and yet in the midst of it all, I feel weirdly content, lately.
It feels like law school: productive, crazy busy, exhausted and satisfying. Taking it one day at a time has been my motto… it’s still not fully absorbed into my system, but I am getting there. I hope. I am making more of an effort to make time for the stuff that really matters to me. What makes me happy.
We never have everything figured out. Maybe that’s frustrating or maybe that is a relief. Life is a constant growth and “figuring out” process. It’s also a continual exhaustion. I am still trying to figure out how to rest more.
This week, I received a lovely gift. There is a tree being planted in my name somewhere on this planet. I find that exciting. And thank God, it’s far from my novice agricultural skills… I have been trying my hand at a lot of “window box” planting lately. A friend of mine is encouraging this by giving me plants. I have this weird hunger to see something grow and to take care of something. It brings the oddest but warm satisfaction. It all started when I was given a dead plant, and I watched it revive, after some tender love and care. It’s crazy exciting when you see something become something new; when you watch something grow.
Last weekend, while traveling, I saw the most gorgeous homes and views. I walked along a boardwalk by these majestic summer homes in Ocean City. These things always make me reflect on what is coming (I hope) in the future. It makes me think of life, stability, getting older, family, children…
An image of me, up at the crack of dawn, making gluten-free french toast for more than just one, comes to mind. What scares me is that I no longer feel that is so far away.
Time passes so quickly. Last weekend, I was at a bridal shower for a childhood friend. She is getting married. MARRIED. Unbelievable. We used to sit in princess costumes and play with Barbies. It’s mind-blowing. I just bought my plane ticket. I still have to find a pair of sparkly silver shoes. I am sure that now that I am looking for them, I will not find them. Absurdities of life. But I will try to think positively.
Life takes us on the most unexpected journeys. We learn along the way. I have realized that in life we often have a recipe in hand, and then, we realize that some things are great theoretically but that life doesn’t work according to recipes. Realizing this is always heart attack inducing, for me. You know, nothing in life has turned out the way I expected, really. It has been a surprise, one after another.
There are career struggles and growth processes that can be terribly annoying or frustrating to endure.
Take, for example, dating/ the opportunities we give certain people to make their case. I have been learning a lot about this lately, through observation.
A person can look so good on paper, but then, in reality, this person can be an unbelievable jerk, who never makes you feel safe and cares more about his shoes than the fact that you are stranded in some bad neighborhood, at night, while sick. Or there’s the one who sets everything up, but then you find out he is constantly on the lookout for the next best thing in his peripheral vision. Or the ones who want easy and fast; like life is some kind of fast-food joint. Brother, please.
Life is weird and confusing. Things can change in a minute. You also learn to take the disappointments and move on. And then, there is the unexpected good. The one who goes the extra mile when you didn’t even ask. The good you hope will work out, somehow, just like it somehow has taken you this far. There are moments in life that surprise you. Ones you didn’t see coming. Moments that are more profound than words can explain.
I have heard a fair share of magical stories and of nightmarish stories, lately. I guess that is what happens when you spend a bridal shower weekend, in one house, with a huge Latin family that has no filter in sharing stories. I have thought a lot about reality and how life unfolds. It’s messy. It’s painful. It’s also magical.
Yesterday, someone wise told me to look at my life by all the good accomplished, the gifts received and the gifts given. I’m learning every day to look at life in a new way. A better way. A more real way. Sometimes, our own expectations get in the way of the best life has to give us.
Let’s not cling only to the recipe books. After all, you can read the recipe and even try to go shopping for the list of ingredients. I know I have done this. Somehow, I always have to end up improvising a little. It all comes down to what you can find and what’s in your fridge or pantry. You can drive across town looking for that specific sauce, but if it’s not there, it’s not there. So do the best with what you have. Often, it ends up better than the instructions on the page of the book.
It’s about being real. I have learned that so many people are out of touch with reality; what is really important and valuable. I want to be real. I want to care about what’s real. What fills us, what makes us safe, what brings us hope, all of this can only be achieved with what is real.
“Sometimes you don’t need words to say what’s in your heart.” Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being
Here is some inspiration for the week, as we continue to learn:
“We’re far worse than we ever imagined, and far more loved than we could ever dream.” Timothy Keller
“Do you love me enough that I may be weak with you?” Alain de Botton, Essays in Love
By: Greer Gattuso
“Do not go back to the past. Whether it is someone you once loved, something that someone said about you, or if it’s just a mistake you made. It does no good to visit a world that you can never change; become the person you needed back then so that your future will be thankful.”
“Let’s be brave in our love so that we can show others why love matters. Because important things take courage to do.”
– T.B. LaBerge // Go Now
“Though we may create many beautiful works of art, the most important works of art to which we will ever give ourselves are the lives we live.” Erwin Raphael McManus The Artisan Soul: Crafting Your Life into a Work of Art
“So, what if, instead of thinking about solving your whole life, you just think about additional good things. One at a time. Just let your pile of good things grow.” Rainbow Rowell (via Smile, Sugar.)
“I like the smell of earth, the touch of waves, the taste of berries, the sight of trees, the sound of laughter, and the feeling of being fully alive.” Unknown
“I watched as she turned her wounds into wisdom.”
Sean McClam
“That’s how you know you love someone, I guess. When you can’t experience anything without wishing the other person were there to see it, too.” Kaui Hart Hemmings, The Descendants
“My grandmother once told me, ‘Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.'” Leigh Ann Lunsford
“I think people spend too much time staring into screens and not enough time […] kissing, and dancing under the moon.” Rachel Wolchin
Par Paul Almásy, Rock‘n’roll sur les quais de Paris, 1950
GABRIELA YARELIZ 