“Slow down.” I saw this phrase on a kombucha cap, a card somewhere, a song— this has been everywhere, lately.
In a highly caffeinated world (where we run with cups of caffeine instead of sitting with them), we are reminded to slow down. When we slow down, we have more time to connect with our body (when you work out, do you feel the mind-body connection?), the person next to us (I hear podcasts and coaching calls where some issues could be easily resolved, through vulnerable connection), and God (He tells us to be still and know who He is). We get to release that which causes us stress (I keep reading about how critical it is to get our stress levels under control for health). Slowing down helps us be more present.
Today, wherever you go and whatever you do, take your time. Do it slow. Despacito.
They say you can tell a lot about a person based on the music they like. Here is a nugget about me—
I loved Switchfoot after they were heavily featured in A Walk To Remember, so it has been about 23 years of loving their music. No song of theirs hits as hard for me as “Dare You To Move.” I internalized the lyrics to that song like they were a personal philosophy.
/Welcome to the planet Welcome to existence Everyone’s here Everybody’s watching you now Everybody waits for you now What happens next?
I dare you to move I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move Like today never happened Today never happened before/
The song found me again recently when I heard a recent cover by Adam Doleac, and it took me back. It’s one of those songs that finds you raw and cuts you open.
If you are having a tough day, or you are in a tough season— this one goes out to you. 🤍
And of course, the emotional original:
And as a bonus, my second favorite Switchfoot song, “Needle and Haystack Life.” Agh. Chills. Nothing hits like nostalgia.
Blast it.
/Breathe it in, the highs and lows. WE CALL IT LIVING/
Is the world run by sex-addicts, adulterers, and pedophiles? As time passes, it really does feel like it.
**Cue song “I Need a Hero”**
Even our most revered historical figures have some insane histories. The MLK Jr. files revealed what was often rumored about the minister and civil rights activist. It wasn’t surprising, but it was disappointing. Reading the files is enough to just make one look away with the thought, “Is anyone admirable?”
I will leave some of the most controversial pages below if you want to read for yourself.
Truth is we are all far from perfect. Not all of us are a minister participating in orgies and having a love child, but you know what I mean.
When you look at the men and women in scripture, you also find a flawed bunch. Part of being human, I guess, is truly realizing the heroes among us are not always what they seem. And yet, despite their flaws, they managed to create incredible change. May we all be so privileged to leave a mark.
Another piece is having the maturity to have restrained or narrow admiration and saving the true hero status for the God who somehow takes our tattered selves and works through us.
There is a lot we can learn from the flawed heroes. With some, it’s how not to be and the hypocrisy entrenched in their stories. With others, we learn how to deal with grief, obstacles, pain and doubt. Whatever the case, transparency and truth matter. It is damaging to make people seem better than they were. It’s better to deal with truth than some romanticized and sanitized version of someone or history. In a society that wants to cancel anyone flawed— it’s time we have a more transparent era. One that forces us to deal with reality and real life. Not some distorted fantasy. If you set out to cancel people, there will be no one left.
I am currently reading a book about Theodore Roosevelt, and how every time he dealt with loss, he went out on the most insane adventures. He almost ended up dead on some of these trips. When his heart was broken, he went out there and put himself in danger. The man was wild. And not always in a healthy way.
The people who change the world have one thing in common— they are unreasonable.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” George Bernard Shaw
And the truth remains, that the unreasonable man can be disappointing. He can be deeply flawed. He is far from perfect. But still, it is the unreasonable one who is remembered. This is a valuable lesson to take.
We are each responsible for living a life that is admirable; one that leaves the world better than we found it. One that hopefully has a shred of integrity to it and a lot of unreasonableness.
“The clearest sign of intellectual chemistry isn’t agreeing with someone. It’s enjoying your disagreements with them. (…) Creative tension makes beautiful music.” Adam Grant
Image via Reddit
By: Gabriela Yareliz
One of the things that makes Frasier such an amazing show are the arguments between the Crane brothers, Frasier and Niles. The writers always nail it. They have deep fights, petty fights, hilarious fights, misunderstood fights— but they never back down from a fight.
What is always evident is that despite the competitive nature of the Crane brothers, they love each other and really respect each other.
In our people pleasing ways, we often think that a sign of respect is agreeableness and submission. When the truth is, knowing how to disagree is a much richer skill. Taking the time and energy to disagree signals to someone that you care.
“When I argue with someone, it’s not a display of disrespect— it’s a sign of respect. It means I value their views enough to contest them.” Adam Grant
You know what they say— couples that don’t take the time to disagree just don’t care anymore. It think this is true in all relationships, including the nonromantic.
“Honest argument is merely a process of mutually picking the beams and motes out of each other’s eyes so both can see clearly.” Wilbur Wright
Rather than showing restraint in the things that matter, hopefully, we develop the courage and skill to disagree. As Adam Grant says, it’s the “clearest sign of intellectual chemistry.” We’ll call it “Crane Chemistry.”
“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.” Homer, The Odyssey
I listen to a lot of health experts. The most recent one I listened to was Gary Brecka. His TSC Podcast episode was excellent.
He mentioned that when a client comes to him, the first thing he does is fix their sleep.
Almost every expert says sleep is the most crucial thing. The body rests, restores and repairs. If you are wondering where to start, there seems to be a consensus— sleep is king.
The little girl from Uptown Girls, Ray, would always say, “Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.”
Whether it is health, policy, work, leadership— it seems like we always complicate things, when in reality, what seems to be needed is a return to the basics, the foundations, what used to be seen as common sense.
Classics are classics for a reason. Where can we return to the fundamentals?
I still allow others to shade my day. It’s a human problem. I am actively and intentionally trying to shift this. Maybe it helps to think of energy like a bank. Or a nice little snack drawer.
What lead me to this thought was Dr. Caroline Leaf saying, “Frustration takes up energy.” That sounds basic. But it is so true. What are we expending energy on?
Allowing others to influence how we feel is like letting them come in and take from our bank or letting them steal our snacks from our snack drawer.
We should only give energy to that which deserves it. It’s time to take inventory of what is taking our energy (aka snacks).
“You must always be prepared to place a bet on yourself, on your future, by heading in a direction that others seem to fear. This means you believe that if you fail, you have the inner resources to recover.”
ROBERT GREENE
I love the thought of “heading in a direction that others seem to fear.” This concept, with wisdom and discernment, has been a recipe for greatness, for being a change-maker. To bet on yourself means you trust yourself. It means you have kept enough promises to yourself.
Every day, we have the opportunity to build that trust. Every day, we have the opportunity to take steps toward that which others fear. Every day, we prepare and keep building the future. The future is built in the present.
The Lively vs. Baldoni lawsuit/case in the court of the public opinion is heating up. Most of us following are glued to the updates from Candace Owens who now has sources one the inside revealing the story. She has about 95% of it, according to one insider.
The story has revealed that something tipped off Blake Lively’s husband, Ryan Reynolds, into a spiral of jealousy and desire to control the situation, humiliate Blake Lively and destroy Justin Baldoni. Seems like the story is Blake “caught feelings” on set for her co-star Baldoni, and her husband went on a rampage and started supervising her. This always ends badly— does anyone remember Sofia Vergara with Joe Manganiello? Eeeh.
If you want to start at the beginning, you can start with HouseinHabit’s recap of the initial Candace Owens findings— for the rest— check out Candace Owens on socials. She has even found moments on film from the promotion of the film that had nothing to do with promo but are instead just unscripted concerning rage rants. Justin Baldoni’s court filings are public record, so you can read that, too.
It’s weird to see a man spiraling and destroying his marriage and career on the national stage. But while it’s weird because these are wealthy celebrities we hold distance from, we see this all the time in regular life. People who need to control everything and spiral when the unexpected happens. People who think controlling and manipulating is love. (And it’s not). There are many Ryan Reynolds out in the world.
I think in the past, to start a divorce was so frowned upon and judged. Yet now, we realize many likely did it to save sanity and dignity. Seems Scarlett Johansson was judged harshly when she divorced Ryan Reynolds, but now she is looking like a woman who saved herself and ran from a psychopath. Johnny Depp had a long road to freedom in the eyes of the public, narrowly escaping his own abusive marriage. I don’t know if the Reynolds will divorce, but it is looking bleak.
This mess of a situation brought me back to this Tara Schuster passage I resonated a lot with:
“It takes a confident person to love fully. (…) The way a person treats you has almost nothing to do with you. It’s about them and their limitations.” Tara Schuster
I don’t know what will happen here. We are all watching. And with celebrities, we can watch them for life lessons (not purely for gossip). This is what Shallon Lester on YouTube has dedicated herself to.
I have never really liked the Lively-Reynolds duo, personally (doesn’t matter if I did, but simply not a fan). The fact that she is close friends with Taylor Swift makes her wildly unlikable to me. At first, I just felt like Baldoni was wronged, and now I am starting to feel for Blake, if in fact her husband went nuts on her. It does seem like she is in an abusive situation, and she will need to make some decisions.
I think one of the biggest lessons we can take with love, given that relationships involve a whole other person that you cannot control (contrary to what Ryan Reynolds thinks), is to live with open hands. Ultimately, people are free. You cannot control another. Control is not love.
And on the flip side, if you are in a bad situation, the most loving thing you can do is take yourself out of the abuse. Be confident enough to know that you can’t fix the person or the situation, and rescue yourself.
To love is to risk loss. And this fact will never change.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 