“There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep.” Homer, The Odyssey
I listen to a lot of health experts. The most recent one I listened to was Gary Brecka. His TSC Podcast episode was excellent.
He mentioned that when a client comes to him, the first thing he does is fix their sleep.
Almost every expert says sleep is the most crucial thing. The body rests, restores and repairs. If you are wondering where to start, there seems to be a consensus— sleep is king.
The little girl from Uptown Girls, Ray, would always say, “Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun.”
Whether it is health, policy, work, leadership— it seems like we always complicate things, when in reality, what seems to be needed is a return to the basics, the foundations, what used to be seen as common sense.
Classics are classics for a reason. Where can we return to the fundamentals?
I still allow others to shade my day. It’s a human problem. I am actively and intentionally trying to shift this. Maybe it helps to think of energy like a bank. Or a nice little snack drawer.
What lead me to this thought was Dr. Caroline Leaf saying, “Frustration takes up energy.” That sounds basic. But it is so true. What are we expending energy on?
Allowing others to influence how we feel is like letting them come in and take from our bank or letting them steal our snacks from our snack drawer.
We should only give energy to that which deserves it. It’s time to take inventory of what is taking our energy (aka snacks).
“You must always be prepared to place a bet on yourself, on your future, by heading in a direction that others seem to fear. This means you believe that if you fail, you have the inner resources to recover.”
ROBERT GREENE
I love the thought of “heading in a direction that others seem to fear.” This concept, with wisdom and discernment, has been a recipe for greatness, for being a change-maker. To bet on yourself means you trust yourself. It means you have kept enough promises to yourself.
Every day, we have the opportunity to build that trust. Every day, we have the opportunity to take steps toward that which others fear. Every day, we prepare and keep building the future. The future is built in the present.
The Lively vs. Baldoni lawsuit/case in the court of the public opinion is heating up. Most of us following are glued to the updates from Candace Owens who now has sources one the inside revealing the story. She has about 95% of it, according to one insider.
The story has revealed that something tipped off Blake Lively’s husband, Ryan Reynolds, into a spiral of jealousy and desire to control the situation, humiliate Blake Lively and destroy Justin Baldoni. Seems like the story is Blake “caught feelings” on set for her co-star Baldoni, and her husband went on a rampage and started supervising her. This always ends badly— does anyone remember Sofia Vergara with Joe Manganiello? Eeeh.
If you want to start at the beginning, you can start with HouseinHabit’s recap of the initial Candace Owens findings— for the rest— check out Candace Owens on socials. She has even found moments on film from the promotion of the film that had nothing to do with promo but are instead just unscripted concerning rage rants. Justin Baldoni’s court filings are public record, so you can read that, too.
It’s weird to see a man spiraling and destroying his marriage and career on the national stage. But while it’s weird because these are wealthy celebrities we hold distance from, we see this all the time in regular life. People who need to control everything and spiral when the unexpected happens. People who think controlling and manipulating is love. (And it’s not). There are many Ryan Reynolds out in the world.
I think in the past, to start a divorce was so frowned upon and judged. Yet now, we realize many likely did it to save sanity and dignity. Seems Scarlett Johansson was judged harshly when she divorced Ryan Reynolds, but now she is looking like a woman who saved herself and ran from a psychopath. Johnny Depp had a long road to freedom in the eyes of the public, narrowly escaping his own abusive marriage. I don’t know if the Reynolds will divorce, but it is looking bleak.
This mess of a situation brought me back to this Tara Schuster passage I resonated a lot with:
“It takes a confident person to love fully. (…) The way a person treats you has almost nothing to do with you. It’s about them and their limitations.” Tara Schuster
I don’t know what will happen here. We are all watching. And with celebrities, we can watch them for life lessons (not purely for gossip). This is what Shallon Lester on YouTube has dedicated herself to.
I have never really liked the Lively-Reynolds duo, personally (doesn’t matter if I did, but simply not a fan). The fact that she is close friends with Taylor Swift makes her wildly unlikable to me. At first, I just felt like Baldoni was wronged, and now I am starting to feel for Blake, if in fact her husband went nuts on her. It does seem like she is in an abusive situation, and she will need to make some decisions.
I think one of the biggest lessons we can take with love, given that relationships involve a whole other person that you cannot control (contrary to what Ryan Reynolds thinks), is to live with open hands. Ultimately, people are free. You cannot control another. Control is not love.
And on the flip side, if you are in a bad situation, the most loving thing you can do is take yourself out of the abuse. Be confident enough to know that you can’t fix the person or the situation, and rescue yourself.
To love is to risk loss. And this fact will never change.
“Listen to people you care about. Sometimes, they are stumbling toward enlightenment.” Dr. Jordan B. Peterson
I like to think that we are all stumbling toward enlightenment on our separate paths that cross, at our own paces. The key to a solid relationship— one of the key ways people change and we change— is when we listen. Listening is a skill we develop.
We need to listen with a posture of grace and humility. Something so simple is so powerful. It’s a marker of our experience. A snapshot of growth in real time. It shows we care.
“If you are scared of it, it controls you.” Dr. John Delony
Yesterday, someone started a conversation with me like this, “Not to be an alarmist but…” The whole conversation was rooted in fear and panic. I watched this person sort of stunned at the level of panic. People are so afraid they can’t even see their fear in plain sight.
Fear is a powerful thing. They say it’s responsible for a lot of the reprehensible acts and behavior and how we treat each other nowadays. Our tribalism, our refusal to allow people different opinions without strong judgment— all of it is some weird cocktail of fear and pride.
Fear can be useful for a real threat, but it’s only useful if we are discerning with it, and it spurs us to action. It impairs us otherwise. It can have us miss out on things; it paralyzes us; it controls us.
How do we use fear in the right way? I think Dr. John Delony nails it in the post/quote below:
Fear should spur us to action. I heard somewhere that the greatest investment is simply doing something. Action. That is why the Nike slogan is one of the most powerful of all time— “Just do it.” Mel Robbins says the word “Just” adds a relatable humanity to the slogan. We all face fear and resistance, but what leads to greatness is the action taken after the emotional is felt.
Don’t live panicked. Live free. (Just) do it.
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains.” Rosa Luxemburg
I think everyone is sick. On the subway, people cough on you with no mercy. By the time you get to work, you feel like a petri dish. The air is so dry and cold, your hands and face hurt. Your eyes sting. The radiator becomes a necessary enemy. Winter.
Despite the fact that we walk around loaded with heavy coats, bags and boots, almost slipping on icy sidewalks— winter invites us to rest.
It’s cliche. And yet— I still, at times, find myself spinning my wheels and dragging myself around. On top of that, as everyone coughed on each other this morning, I kept thinking about how most of these people would tell a sick person to stay home and rest, and apparently, they hate themselves because they were definitely on their way to work in their death bed stretcher.
Imagine— I start passing out supplements on the train. Kidding. But this would be iconic. People take weed and drugs from strangers. Why not elderberry?
This is your sign to plan some downtime. Make hot tea, sit in the glow of a candle, use the nice lotion, eat something piping hot, read a wonderful book— I am currently enjoying Tara Schuster’s book below.
What do we need to retreat from? We often focus on what drains our energy, but what builds it? Make a list. Schedule that energy-giving list. You deserve to spend time wintering.
I am a vomiter. If I am not feeing well, one of the first signs is I am nauseated. As someone with a sensitive stomach, it’s a familiar feeling.
When one studies conscientiousness in psychology, one hears about the element of disgust. I found this interesting. When we think of disgust, we think of a cringing facial expression or someone vomiting. Take a minute and think about something disgusting. You will probably flinch.
Vomiting expels toxins. It keeps out pathogens, as Jordan B. Peterson teaches. It keeps us pure. It cleans us out.
Disgust plays a big role in order. Disgust is often perceived as fear, but it’s not fear, Jordan B. Peterson explains. To maintain order and draw boundaries, you must be disgusted or guarded against something that will destroy or taint something you desire to protect.
One could easily argue that part of society’s problem is its lack of disgust and lack of guarding against certain things. If everything is acceptable, nothing remains pure or set apart. Everything becomes infected with a pathogen that may be lethal.
Is there anything we need to re-cultivate disgust for? Are there pathogens we need to expel? Have we become unbalanced?Perhaps disgust is worth revisiting.
“Positive emotion moves you forward toward desired goals.” Jordan B Peterson
Why be intentional with our emotions? Believe it or not, our emotions serve us almost like a flame. It can extinguish us or burn bright and bring us light.
When you have a worthy goal or purpose, you need some level of hope and positivity to propel you forward. You need something to illuminate your path. When you look at the exceptional, they are sometimes at certain intervals seen as delusional because of what they see or hold onto.
Often, wise delusion makes the dream reality. How can you bring light and positivity into your day, today? Start today, and keep some healthy delusion burning bright. Run the propeller.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 