The Four Questions

By: Gabriela Yareliz

This morning, I was reflecting on Byron Katie’s four questions. These are the questions she uses to coach people through issues and places where they get stuck. The questions are:

  • Is it true?
  • Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  • How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought?
  • Who would you be without the thought?

Working through these has been so interesting. They make the day brighter and make us feel freer.

Paul Maurice

By: Gabriela Yareliz

The Florida Panthers are advancing to the Eastern Conference Final. Paul Maurice’s press conference after yesterday’s hard-fought game 7 with the Leafs was such a reminder as to why he is my favorite coach. Maurice embodies a humble leader, who is fair, strategic and imparts greatness. The man is a class act. I will root for him wherever he goes.

There is something about the way Florida grinds that is so awesome to watch. This is a team that thrives under pressure.

The hunt continues. Anything can happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if this team wins the cup again. Maurice is a steady force that often seems unstoppable.

Ownership

Jocko. Image via Cal Newport.

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I was watching Vanessa Fitzgerald’s stories as she was on a walk. She was explaining to those of us on the other side of the camera that she had felt sort of in a funk. She then said something along the lines of, “We always find something to blame, but I knew it was up to me.” Ownership.

This word keeps coming up. I am currently reading Jocko’s Extreme Ownership. It’s this idea that no matter how bad the circumstances can be, we decide what we do.

Vanessa said she woke up, and decided to eat well, pulled out her journal and sorted through her feelings, she went outside and moved her body. She decided.

Vanessa out on a walk later that day.

Erwin McManus often says that the most spiritual thing we can do is choose. Every choice is a spiritual act because everything is spiritual. When we choose life and elevation, there is an effect. There is also an effect when we choose the opposite. And while not everything is in our power, we have the agency to not be victims and make our next move. (Thank God for that).

I am reflecting a lot on ownership; even in the small things we often ignore as part of routine. What does it mean to take extreme ownership over my life?

Today, it meant working out for two hours, cutting out my commute, resting, walking for a while. Sweating, and then, taking the time to care for my hair. It meant taking supplements that will help me feel better. It meant preparing something fun for my other website. It meant not skipping meals because I am too busy. It meant avoiding caffeine to get energy from somewhere else.

We cannot sit and let life happen to us. We have to happen to life. (And this is not for the faint of heart. Life is hard. Jocko is a Navy SEAL officer. His book hits home. He knows more hard than most of us will ever know. One decision could mean death for an entire team.) We all face our own trials. I was listening to a podcast on those who experience constant chronic pain, and it said how easy it is for people in these situations to be depressed. Life is hard. Every day, we will need something different, and it’s our responsibility to make sure we get it. Even when it gets hard. Especially, when it gets hard.

Agency is not given. We don’t have to wait until someone gives it to us. We have it inherently. What it can be is given up. But that is a choice.

Celebrating Outrageous Fortune’s Turns

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I was listening to a podcast where Piers Morgan was a guest (yes, that Piers Morgan). He said something that caught my attention— the idea of celebrating the good and bad in life.

He said, “We treat the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune with equanimity.” He literally goes to a restaurant or pub with his family to even celebrate when they go through hard times.

This reminds me of something Jamie Kern Lima talks about which is being grateful for even rejection. She would say about potential business partners that said “no” that God had, in a sense, shielded her value from that person because their relationship wouldn’t have worked. She was grateful for the “no.”

I want to learn to better treat the slings and arrows of “outrageous fortune” with equanimity. Life should indeed be celebrated.

Going There

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“There is stuff I know I can work through, but I am not sure I want to go there again. I do feel like if I will be helping others, I need to, maybe?” The person on the coaching call explained.

“You will need to go there. If you are going to help people heal, you need to do it from a healed place,” the coach said.

In life, to be whole, we all have to go there.

Regret and the Present

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Just saw an Asian guy jump the turnstile. I wanted to scream to the girl with him who paid to run fast from this cheap fool. Life is tragic when you are criminally cheap.

Jordan B. Peterson talks about how we can’t twist reality and then avoid having it snap back at us HARD. Being a moron always catches up with us. If we are being real, everything catches up with us. Good and bad.

Sometimes, I hear people repeatedly talk about things they regret in the past. But if the past regret doesn’t inform the future— what is the use?

Reflect on the past, but also, think about how the present moment will soon be in that past bucket. What are you not doing or doing right now that you will soon regret? Make the present moment what you want. Don’t keep focus on just the past regret. If that’s all you dwell on, pretty soon you will be looking at your whole life like that.

Right now, we have today.