I mean, we all knew it was bad, but yesterday, I saw with my own eyes a Greenwich Village that was vacant and closed down. Such a depressing sight to see. Many eateries that marked special moments, whether it was where I ate with my mom when I first moved here for law school (Nanoosh), where I ate with my love after hours of walking (Sammy’s Noodle Shop and Grill) or places we would visit for a treat after final exams— all were closed and gone.
You can find here a running list of the restaurants that have shuttered in NYC, due to COVID-19. We will miss the vegetable dumplings, creamy lentil soups and delicious rice. Change is a constant. A reminder that all we have are the experiences and memories we make with those we love.
Praying for everyone who lost employment and dreams. NYC won’t be the same without you.
Wishing you all a merrymerry Christmas Eve from my little candle-lit apartment to your home and heart. It has been a year that we have survived together, and I don’t blame you if you aren’t in a very festive mood tonight, or tomorrow or on New Year’s Eve. We’ve been on a journey. We’ve lost a lot, stressed a lot and many of us are far from traditions and family. This post just has some little things to seek out that may brighten your night or the next few days as we close out the festive season.
Personally, I spent the morning cooking, FaceTiming, doing a facemask and wrapping some last stragglers. I’m settling in this evening with a Mosaic Christmas Eve service, with a message from Erwin McManus. I’ll read a bit from Luke 2, and then spend some more time on my phone. Here is to celebrating all that we do have and the peace and love that came down.
Little things that may brighten your spirit:
Watch an old familiar movie
Photo via @KJP
A familiar movie has an element of nostalgia to it. I love the Santa Claus movies with Tim Allen, Christmas with the Kranks and The Holiday. These films always make me smile and feel warm and fuzzy inside. You can also watch a film with a loved one who is far.
Find the lights
Photo via @sezane
My boyfriend and I walked to all the bright and festive spots in the city and our immediate surroundings. There is something about little lights in the darkness that is magical. A reminder of God’s light that pierces through our darkness, even on the darkest night.
Find a good blanket
Photo via @morganesezalory
My mom gifted me a deliciously soft blanket. I have a pile of about four blankets on my bed alone, at any given time. I am partial to blankets. They make me feel cozy, and a good one feels almost like an embrace (physical touch is my love language). Bust out your fuzzy blankets, your wool blankets and the heated ones, too. Maybe it’s time for a blanket fort? (I used to live in these, as a kid).
Make several servings of a good meal
Photo via @mamannyc
All meals are not created equal. I recently made Joanna Gaines’ Sweet Pea Orecchiette receipe (vegetarian version). I loved it. It’s flavorful and buttery; sweet and savory. I spent the morning making more. Pick a meal that you could eat for five days straight, and make it so you have for several sittings. It will make you smile when it comes time to warm it up and dig in.
Revisit old memories with family
Photo via @sezane
It’s important to remember better times and important to connect with those you love. Take some time to make some Zoom or FaceTime calls. It’s good for the soul.
Give
Photo via @gramercygiftguide
I am not telling you anything you don’t know in this post, but these are simply reminders. It is certainly better to give than to receive. This time of year is all about the greatest gift given to us, the gift of God Himself. May we always pour ourselves out as He did. Find a family in need; find a food pantry or shelter accepting donations. Take good things to donate (not leftover junk)– things you would use. Maybe include a little note with the item explaining how to use or cook it. It may seem basic to you, but to someone else, it may make a very lasting memory or impression.
Froth your milk
Photo via @rainbowplantlife
Guys, your hot chocolates, coffee, and teas will never be the same. If you want a small luxury in your every day, froth your milk. It elevates everything. And personally, it brings me joy. The more foam, the better. For some yummy vegan drink options, check out RainbowPlantLife’s recipes here.
Stop tracking packages
Photo via @liz_damrich
This year, every type of shipping service has left us scrambling and with packages out in the ether. Here’s a tip: let it go, and stop refreshing all your tracking tabs. So we’ll have 12 days of Christmas post-Christmas. It’s cool. Let’s focus on what we can give and the gift of presence. In the end, that’s all that matters.
Review the past year and plan for the next
Photo via @smythson
It’s important to be self-aware and review, and it’s important to make plans and seek clarity. It’s important to start now, if you can. Proverbs 29 says people perish without vision. May we seek the dreams He has for our lives and be willing to chase after them, empowered.
Music makes the vibe
Photo via @monicabellucciofficial
There is something special about music. I have noticed more and more how when one enters a space with the right music, it’s a whole vibe. If you can, open Pandora or iHeartradio or get your Alexa going. Play something that brings the vibe you want to create in your space. Music is so powerful, and it affects our attitude and disposition. Let’s use it to elevate the season.
Take time to pause, and as Erwin McManus is reminding us tonight, make sure you don’t miss what God is doing all around you. Take time to create spaces to reflect, connect, give and feel joy.
May you feel His peace and embrace, tonight and always.
The other night, I was at the window searching for that Christmas star situation. Hand gripping the window sill that was probably painted over for the hundredth time in 1992, twisting my neck to see if I could catch a glimpse of anything behind the thick ceiling of gray clouds that reflect city light back onto us city dweller earthlings. Nothing. What a year.
We stayed indoors and grew pale this year (though I had my many-a-mile walks with my love in the later half of the year). That said, we all searched for inspiration in different things. I read, I mulled over things and also discovered some new people (and saw how people I already knew evolved). Below are some of the people who caught my eye in 2020. Sometimes, it was just their aesthetic or general vibe— but still— they inspired something. Let’s go!
Nausheen Shah
Photo via Nausheen Shah’s IG
Pakistani jewelry entrepreneur, designer and stylist taking the world by storm. I don’t wear jewelry, but she caught my eye because she is a bold boss. Her work is bold, unique, and she is a multi-hyphenate person who isn’t afraid to stand out. Lesson: Be fearlessly bold.
Heather McMahan
Photo via HeatherkMcMahan IG
McMahan continued to make us laugh. She did big things, quarantined in Canada for filming, moved out of NYC and went back south, and she took us all along for the ride. Also, just this week she married her Italian Stallion (Jeff). I have a feeling she will continue to bring us laughs. Lesson: Never stop finding the humor in the absurdities of life.
Chiara Ferragni and Fedez
Fedez and Chiara receiving the Ambrogino d’Oro, the highest honor in Milan, for their gifts and service to the community.
Chiara and Fedez kept me sane at the beginning of quarantine. I would tune into their live concerts they would do on their balcony in Italy during the lockdown. When they did it with Andrea Bocelli— I cried like a child that day. I will never forget that shared experience of humanity, grief and the solace we were all seeking in the midst of uncertainty. Apart from being a wickedly funny couple, her an entrepreneur and him a favorite Italian rapper, they are very involved and adorable parents. They show that being a parent is the greatest joy and you are still cool. Life is not over after kids. They raised millions for a COVID-19 hospital. They have poured themselves out for their community and beyond. It’s clear to me they know exactly what matters in life. Lesson: Serve, even if it breaks you. Cry with your people. Give to your people. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for it.
Fedez and Chiara honored in Vanity Fair Italia
Chrissy Teigen
From Chrissy Teigen’s IG
This year, Chrissy very publicly suffered a miscarriage. She posted that photo few of us will forget of her weeping in her hospital bed. She is forever real. Lesson: Don’t be afraid to show your pain; you’ll find out it’s not yours alone.
Tina Sadri
From Tina Sadri’s IG
She grew up in Iran seeing the US in movies. Now, she is a boss mom, has her own therapy practice in California and helps her community. Lesson: Don’t be afraid to dream, and when you’ve made it, always give back. Never forget where you came from.
Audrey Leighton
Via FrassyAudrey IG
Artist, photographer, writer and lady. Lesson: Be unapologetic, feminine and strong. We are the protagonists of our own stories. Leading ladies.
Leandra Medine Cohen
Photo via LeandramCohen IG
After allegations of discrimination being part of the work culture at Repeller (né Man Repeller), Leandra stepped down and was publicly held accountable. I knew Repeller wouldn’t last long without her. It was voiceless. With all due respect to the other writers and editors on staff, Leandra was Man Repeller. It was a brand she embodied. Repeller was shuttered. I truly think she is one of the most brilliant voices in fashion writing and writing in general. She stands alone. She is doing the work and growing, as we all are. I know she will be back. Lesson: Don’t be afraid to do the work. Grow. Make amends. Keep moving forward.
I was chewing on a pretzel and catching glimpses of my acne-stained cheeks in the reflection of the changing screen on my computer when his LinkedIn update appeared where the reflection of my face had been a split second ago.
Two years working at a bank, it said. I looked at his face and smiled. It was a much grown up version of the face I had met years ago on a flight to Paris. He told me about his life in Hawaii and all of his dreams. I had a head full of ambition, and in my hand had been a little notebook filled with itineraries, addresses and phone numbers. Plans. Dreams. Youth.
I stared at his photo on my computer screen and smiled. “Two years working at a bank,” I said out loud, not caring what neighbors heard me in the hallway. “What happened to our free spirits, remember?” I thought of our 18-year-old sparkly eyes. I paused and remembered my own very non-free spirit profession of “attorney” and smiled. I let out an exhale. “I get it man, I get it.”
I hope you are still dreaming, man. I certainly know I am. I am still a free spirit— don’t let my LinkedIn fool you.
I am reading Wide Awake by Erwin McManus, and I am in the chapter called The Believer.
He dissects the life of Abraham and Moses, and how God essentially told both of them, “I have provided all this for you. Now I am asking you to give it all up for me. You can settle for all you have, but you should expect more.” He often asks us to give up the lives He has blessed us with or the comfort and security we have for the life we were created to live.
McManus describes a time when God blessed him with a better job and paycheck and then God tells him to leave it all behind and enter the unknown. McManus says when this happens, we sometimes pause and think— “You’re not supposed to get to the top and then drop off a cliff on the other side.”
McManus continues saying, “What can happen is the things God has blessed us with become an anchor that keeps us grounded ashore rather than launching us out into His dream for us. Kim and I would have never experienced all the wonderful things God had for us if we had held on to what we had simply because we couldn’t see what was coming. […] The unknown with God is always better than the known without Him.”
Sometimes, we hit those seasons when we are called to leave comfort for what God has dreamed for us. And while that is scary and we face what may seem like less or uncertainty, we can be sure we will find Him standing beside us on the other side. Faith pushes us to live God’s dream for us, it’s not about us imposing our vision onto God.
May we have the courage to meet Him off the cliff, on the other side. Parachute ready.
The boss asked me for edits on something at the very last minute. She knew I needed to go. I needed to get to the post office before it closed to send something for work. She still wanted me to “try my best”. So naturally, the edits took me up until the last minute, and then I ran out to catch my transport to the post office (if I missed it, I would be stuck for 40 minutes and would have missed the post office window). So I ran out, and I felt the weight of my full and heavy bladder. (A cursed feeling). I had planned to use the restroom before departure but that time was hijacked.
When I got on my mode of transport, I realized that while I had prepared the envelope for mailing and the address and everything was on it, I had not sealed it. With all these COVID cases rising, I knew there was no way in hell I was licking the flap of an envelope given to me by another human being. I had no water bottle, therefore that wasn’t an option. I put sanitizer on my hands and tried that. Negative. So, I took a look at my sanitized hands and decided to go for it. I spit on my fingertip (finger, of course, not touching my mouth) and started the process of sealing the envelope. I must have looked insane. I sanitized the hand again, post spit-fest. I sealed the envelope. I ran to the post office with the neon sunset and Statue of Liberty behind me.
I made it. I handed the envelope over and told her I needed it sent priority. The kind postal worker nodded and started sticking all the labels on it. She smiled at me. She remembers me as that girl who had a million envelopes that needed to be sent certified/return receipt that one time. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a corner of the flap was moist. Probably sanitizer. Deep breath and sigh. She took the envelope with her blue gloves and flung it in a bin. I walked out triumphant with the tracking number. It’s freezing. I descended into the train station. I am on the train. Someone sneezes, and there are a couple glances. The train fills and empties, fills and empties. I close my eyes and try not to think about the volume of people.
My legs are zipped tight, and I am convinced nothing is worth foregoing the restroom with a full bladder. Never again. Never again. With nerves on edge, I realize the contents of my bladder may not be the only thing I am holding in. I remind myself to breathe. It will be a long ride home.
I am coming out of a season that I can only describe as exhausting, dark and uncertain. There is still plenty of darkness to go around in the world around us and plenty of circumstances that have not yet been made clear or resolved. And yet, something feels different.
Apart from the insanity ravaging this world with politics, COVID, loved ones touched by illness and fighting the good fight to try to heal and the very real loss of life we have been touched by— I have dealt with my own difficulties and inner turmoil.
To keep it short, I have walked down a rocky, bloody hard path on the edge of a cliff I have been trying to make sure I don’t fall from. I will admit I have never understood depression fully— but perhaps what I have felt in past months is the closest thing I have experienced to it. And I want this to be an encouraging post, but I also want to acknowledge the darkness that can surround and oppress us in trials, anguish and grief. If you are there, I see you. You aren’t alone. This life can batter us and hit us, drag us and run us over. It really can. But God—
As I wrote in a previous post, while darkness is real, may we always escape it. When oppression closes in on us, may we cry out to God who, I can tell you with no doubt in my mind, is listening.
I was reading and studying Psalm 23– a very well known passage. It’s one we get a sticker for memorizing as children. One line caught my attention: “your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” (v.4)
It caught my attention because the first half of the verse says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.”
Has anyone else felt like they have been walking through the valley of the shadow of death? Yeah.
What caught my attention about a shepherd rod and staff comforting me is this idea that scripture acknowledges our journey through darkness. (Valley of the shadow of death sounds darker than midnight— sounds like 2020 dark). The circumstances aren’t what bring us comfort or peace but the shepherd’s presence— God, Himself. His presence is what brings us comfort and peace. His promise is that even in this dark dark valley where all may very well be hitting the fan — He stands beside us. Not only that, but a staff and rod is something used to guide. He walks with us and guides us.
I hope that whomever reads this finds encouragement in it. Listen, it’s dark as hell, and we may be lacking answers, but you aren’t alone. We may be stuck in the middle of a dead situation right now, but He is with us.
Lastly, I also want to say that we have seasons of weakness and some of strength. I once saw a quote that says that not even nature blooms year-round. I have felt it in my bones that I have entered a new chapter. It feels like my eyes have adjusted to the darkness— I won’t pretend everything is perfect or resolved. I can say I see with so much clarity. “Battle ready” as the McManus family says. The inner citadel of the soul and mind, as the stoics would speak about, is armoring itself as scripture speaks about. We are fighting a battle, and what is at stake are our hearts and minds. Our sanity. The very core of who and what we will believe and trust.
After feeling like I have been drained to the core— I feel my feet firmly on the ground for the first time in a long time. “Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose,” right? (That’s my southern cheesiness for ya).
Even in the valley— I feel it. I am wide awake, and I can see.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 