By: Gabriela Yareliz
I ripped off my eye mask, heart racing. I am almost sure the smart tracker with a heart monitor on my wrist was about to go off. I hear ambulance sirens at a distance— it is NYC after all. I repeat to myself, inaudible, that none of that was real to bring my body back to reality.
The week has been filled with nightmares. I think it’s stress. But if you ask Gaia— it’s a regression to my past life (whatever the hell that means)— however, the likely answer is they are just nonsense.
But that is the thing with dreams— they are peculiar. Sometimes, yes, they reveal subconscious things, and sometimes, they carry the absurdity of an Almodóvar film. (This week, ironically, I met a woman who worked on wardrobe for Almodovar’s Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown).
But sometimes, dreams are revelations of what is real. I mean, hear me out— I have found out of the existence of things and things have been revealed to me through dreams. That may sound strange, but it’s undeniably true. Scripture is replete with people who dreamed things that would come to pass or revelations. Sometimes, dreams connects us to divine revelation and hidden truth.
So, I was already having insane and memorable dreams this week (which is rare because I don’t dream often), and then, I added my stupidity from yesterday evening, and I ended up with a nightmare on steroids. Why, you may ask? I drank an evening hot chocolate. Yes, the kind that has melatonin in it. I didn’t even think I about it. I just like it because it helps you feel calm and cozy before bed— but boy was that a mistake. The nightmare was probably one of the worst of my life. I felt like I didn’t sleep a wink, but the night was spent in anguish and nightmare sobs.
What does it all mean? I guess we’ll find out if it means anything at all. I find that the thing we are terrible at, these days, is connecting with our own intuition. We are disconnected and distrustful. We realize things in hindsight. But what if we started to tune into our foresight and gut warning? I feel I was more in tune with it at a younger age. The older we get, the more we try and train ourselves to ignore ourselves. We think that is where peace is found, when it’s the opposite. We spend more time talking, and less time listening.
Maybe it’s all subconscious stress and nonsense. Maybe, some day in the near future, I will experience dejavú and realize I had known.
Whatever the case may be, there is one thing I will be doing— I will be staying away from the nightcap from hell. That experience was something else.
GABRIELA YARELIZ 