True Feelings

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Here are five confessions of truth, straight from the heart.

1] World Cup

From soccer.fusion.net banner. Karim Benzema

Antoine Griezmann, I cried with you. That was tough. France, you played magically. I will always wear that jersey with pride. Bisous, les bleus, bisous.

2] Hair

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It’s so weird when you cut off two feet of hair. You look around you, and see long hair EVERYWHERE. In magazines, you see the articles about short summer haircuts titled: “Do you dare?” “Edgy and Confident”. Apparently, when you cut your hair, you are confident and bold. Hair, especially long hair, can be like a security blanket for women.

I heard someone say, “Her hair makes her beautiful. If she cut her hair, she’d be ugly.” First, that is not very nice, but it was said. The thing is, girls who hear this about themselves will look the same forever and be afraid of change.

I have cut my hair a lot, and I am no stranger to change. I will admit that long hair can take over you.

The thing about hair, whether short or long, if kept the same, it can represent your fear of change. Or fear of something… Hair is very psychological– much has been written about this. Getting rid of pounds of hair is liberating in more ways than one. Sometimes. Not always. But definitely, sometimes.  

I have nothing against long hair. I will grow mine out again–because Lord knows I can’t keep a haircut; but the truth is when something is gone, you realize the value you placed on it, and the value society places on it.

For a while, I thought there was an instability in wanting change often. Every school picture of mine looks different. Maybe there is something to be said for those who like change too much? I don’t know.  I guess there are two types of people, those who want to look the same and have one set look, and those who want to experiment. Either one is ok.

The one thing I have learned is that what is important is to look your best and not let someone or something dictate that. Don’t depend on things that can fade. Develop your character, let your beauty radiate through to others no matter what the hair length. Be comfortable. Be you. Be beautiful no matter what your hair length. Let beauty be defined by something else.

3] Men and Women

Recently, I saw a scenario of men and women playing very distinct roles from what I am used to. I saw a guy with a cup of water in front of him ask his girlfriend to hand it to him. I saw women get blamed for anything that happened. I saw men get taken care of as if they were children. I saw men look threatened by an educated woman. It was odd. I am used to seeing couples and men and women act as a partnership–but what I saw here was not partnership; instead, it was someone sitting back (man) and another serving to the point of exhaustion (woman).

I have to say there is a strong cultural element coming into play here, but it upset me. Sometimes people want the idea of something, but then, when reality unfolds, the dynamic is a bit disturbing. Do people realize what they subject themselves to or how they are behaving?

The truth is, it is important to find someone who shares your views on roles and partnership. If not, you’ll end up offering to make your boyfriend /or husband a sandwich four times, and he will strongly say no. Then, when you decide to sit down and eat yours, he will decide he actually wants a sandwich and will demand one from you. You will stop and make it (with love), despite the fact that it’s in front of him and he has hands. Then, when he bites into the sandwich, instead of saying thank you, he will complain about something you put in the sandwich while he looked on as you made it. (Yes, based on a true story. Can you see my expression while watching all of this?).

I have nothing against service, but I do have an issue with slavery.

4] Graduation

Ok, maybe I am not ready. I just wanted to say, we are all feeling the pressure. It is insane how we are job hunting and graduation is months away. It’s a mess. I feel like there are a bunch of choices and streets to choose from, but you must choose wisely. One choice, one path could change your life, forever.

I feel like the Arc de Triomphe

5] Exhaustion

Coming home from work is so exhausting. You don’t want to cook or clean; you just want to sit and have food magically float to you. It’s in those days of exhaustion when you thank God you don’t have children because if you did, they would eat the rice and beans you’ve been eating all week (boring but hey, it’s healthy.) or the makeshift oatmeal dinner with kale juice.

When Friday rolls around, you just want to throw a paper towel and run. Spray some perfume and relax. But life doesn’t work that way. Life is work, even outside of work.

Vida, tranquila, que no pasa nada.

It’s only Monday–keep the inspiration flowing.

XOXO

New Yorker Fear II

By: Gabriela Yareliz

When in New York, it’s not hard to find yourself in creepy neighborhoods. Sometimes, you will be walking down a street and that same street turns into the perfect set for a horror movie or some gangster musical.

When fear and alertness hit you, you find yourself doing the weirdest things. Maybe it’s praying the old man listening to bachata (and he is not hispanic) in the kidnapper van doesn’t kidnap you and sell your organs. Or the woman who passed you yelling to herself, you hope that when you have passed her she doesn’t turn around and come after you with a knife. You carry umbrellas on days you know it won’t rain, your keys become a permanent bracelet accessory, and sometimes, you pretend to chew on something, which adds instant toughness… oh, the art of being intimidating…

Movie Hair That Shaped Me

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I read a fun post on the Man Repeller blog called “Girls on Film: Movie Hair that Shapped Us”. (Written by Meredith Fineman).

I thought it would be fun to post some of my own hair inspirations throughout the years. As women, we really pay attention to movie hair and fashion. We are always looking out for inspiration.

1] Mary-Kate and Ashley in Winning London: mid-length layered inspiration. Simple but edgy.

2] Mandy Moore in How to Deal and Chasing Liberty: She was the perfect rebel. When they said, “Don’t cut it.” She said, “Cut it.”
She was always changing her hair, which I loved.

3] Anne Hathaway in The Devil Wears Prada: Bangs can change your life. Chic.

4] Sonam Kapoor in Aisha: Hair for miles.

5] Juliette Binoche in Chocolat: Big volume and curls. She was bewitching and so was her hair.

6] Penelope Cruz in Volver: mid-length, black and wavy. Her hair didn’t overpower her, and more attention was brought to her face, especially her amazing eyes.

7] Priyanka Chopra in Anjaana Anjaani: Another mid-length cut I imitated. Priyanka looks like anyone else with her long hair, but when she cut her hair into a bob and into this style as she grew it out after Pyaar Impossible, she stood out, and she let her beautiful features steal the show.

8] Marion Cotillard in Inception: Lovely. Marion Cotillard, queen of the wavy bob.

Last Month’s Picks: June, 2014

Dear friends,
Happy July. June has come quickly and vanished faster than it arrived. It was a month of a lot of learning, soccer and adrenaline for me. There were some moments of serious reflection. My cousin passed away. I thank everyone who prayed for him. Please continue to pray for my family. The month left us with a lot to process.

1] Happy Birthday to the lovely Sonam Kapoor.

2] When you make a new day exciting with a new clothes combination (often occurs when you need to do laundry).  

 

3] Enrique Iglesias’ new song is refreshing (different from other things he’s done).
 

4] People can be jealous and vicious– when that happens and someone makes a snarky comment, remember:

5] Karim Benzema and the France v. Honduras match

6] Magic System’s Song: Magic in the Air- playing popularly on NRJ France Radio

7]
Sometimes, we can make strangers our own.

8] “I’ve become more beautiful with age.” Monica Bellucci

$60 for a Life Diagnosis

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This is my skeptical, dramatic face.

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“Some days are meant to be counted, others are meant to be weighed.” ― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

This is how it all began: The weather has been hot, sticky and nauseating. Our air conditioner at work decides to give out when heat levels rise–you’d think that’s when it would work, but no, it’s a quitter.

I have been feeling lightheaded, with jaw pain, with nausea and not hungry (yeah, you add up the symptoms). Today, while I was finishing a lettre de motivation (cover letter), I touched the back of my neck–and there it was. A large lump, the size of a small grape or abnormally large pea, at my finger tips.

Let me give you the context of my week, my cousin found out he is sick, a fellow intern was hospitalized and a friend’s father died of cancer. My mind didn’t exactly fly to the happiest place. I started pressing the lump, using little mirrors to try to see this lump by my hairline.

I looked at my cover letter and decided, why send it if I might not be around to see a response? Dramatic, I know. This isn’t a joke though–life can deal some strange cards. I began thinking whether I would need to have something surgically removed, whether I would have to cut my hair a lot more, whether my loans would disappear if I died– suddenly, I imagined what a new reality would look like. It scared me.

I calmly dialed my mom’s number, but there was no response. Then my calmness evaporated, and I started to frantically call her. She picked up, and we talked. She was calm and said I would be okay. She is always filled with so much faith. I decided I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I knew why I felt so terrible all week and what this lump on the back of my neck was.

I pulled on a sweater and ran out the door leaving all of my lights on. I practically ran the three blocks to the nearest “Urgent Care” type place. I definitely jaywalked. I felt so shaky. My hands were trembling (from fear and exhaustion). I figured my vitals were wack, and my pulse was probably not normal.

I prayed a lot in that little white, clean room. I sat in a chair that seemed new; it was as stiff as my back. I felt a strange suspense I had never felt. I felt scared, helpless and all of a sudden, a lot of things didn’t matter anymore.

The doctor had some blood drawn–those results will come later. From the looks of it, it’s not serious. It’s a lymph inflammation, but not life threatening. I can’t pretend to know how sick people feel–I don’t know how that feels, and I really don’t want to know. I do know that when you are faced with a potentially bad situation, you have to make a choice as to how you will approach and handle it.

I can say this: Today, I weighed things differently. When I felt that lump, my fellowship applications, cover letters, registration inquiries, loan requests–it all vanished. All of a sudden, I only cared about the people I really love and my hopes. By hopes I don’t even mean career-wise. I mean hopes of things I wanted to experience and emotions I wanted to feel. Things you can’t buy, work hard for or create. I felt a sudden longing for those magical gifts and moments life gives us that we do not ask for, that we do not plan and that we do not deserve.

I had a long exhausting day, but when I left the doctor’s office, I felt alive. I am alive. I realized what a blessing every breath is, and how much more I need to pray for those who need strength to deal with their pain and circumstances. I need to have more faith and stop being so dramatic, and I need to never doubt God’s goodness, even if the news is not good.

So apparently, every time you touch the inflamed area, you add days to its life. Because I was freaking out and did everything to it short of a science experiment or biopsy, my lump will probably be there for 5 weeks. I paid $60 for a kind doctor to tell me that I was fine and that I would live. It was worth it.

After anguish like that, when you find out you are okay, all of a sudden you are filled with all of the faith in the world, and you believe you can do anything. (The skeptic face disappears). I guess we need to live like this everyday, and we need to learn to feel that empowerment even when things don’t look okay.

It’s in those moments of reflection that you realize that nothing else matters; all you want is life.

So no matter what your reality looks like, LIVE.