“Me gusta mucho ahondar en la parte más vulnerable de esta profesión porque creo que es importante. Nos persigue el fantasma de la inseguridad, la sensación de que nunca es suficiente, por mucho esfuerzo y trabajo físico y mental que hagamos. Aprender que si no te cogen en un trabajo no es un problema tuyo, que estás completa y que no eres menos válida por ello, cuesta. Pero, con los años, me he dado cuenta de que, cuanto más tengo que dedicarme a mi imagen exterior, más tengo que centrarme en mi interior, jamás descuidaría la segunda, sería el gran error de mi vida.” Blanca With Harpers Bazaar Espana
“I really like to delve into the most vulnerable part of this profession because I think it’s important. The ghost of insecurity haunts us, the feeling that it’s never enough, no matter how much effort and physical and mental work we do. Learning that if they don’t offer you a job, it is not your problem, that you’re complete and that you’re no less valid for it, it’s hard. But, over the years, I’ve realized that the more I dedicate myself to my external image, the more I have to focus on my interior, I would never neglect the latter, it would be the big mistake of my life.” Blanca with Harpers Bazaar Esp. (Translation)
The Icono Series is all about little items that are tied to inspiration and ideas by international icons, films, shows and magazine spreads. Hoping to capture some of the creativity, quirk and touches that mark what they offer the world.
PEDRO ALMODOVAR
The Daily Telegraph
When I think of Pedro Almodovar, I think of red roses, red phones, red– everything.
“I don’t want to imitate life in movies; I want to represent it. And in that representation, you use the colors you feel, and sometimes they are fake colors. But always it’s to show one emotion.”
I read some great books this month. I just started Teach Yourself to Live by C.G.L. Du Cann. One I took a particular liking to was Four Thousand Weeks–Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. It made me reflect a lot on how I perceive time. The truth is, we all perceive time differently. We also all collectively feel and see time differently than people centuries ago. They weren’t slaves to their watches or the smart phone glow. Life was certainly less convenient, but in many ways, it was slower.
The chapter on rest (something I could improve) captivated me the most. It detailed that so much of our current Western work ethic and pace comes from the Calvinist merchants and tradesmen who were relentless in trying to prove to each other that they were God’s chosen for salvation. Not even kidding. Our zany overwork in many ways stems from a misguided perception of religion (no offense to the Calvinist brothers and sisters). The Calvinist way is contrasted with the concept of the Sabbath found in scripture. Sabbath was (and is) a radical concept. Sabbath is for everyone, including the slave/servant. Once Friday sundown rolls around, you cease– you have done enough, as the writer says.
I have been reflecting on this. Do I live like a Calvinist capitalist or like the Sabbath keeper I want to be? I am pretty sure God would prefer the version of me that stops and knows I have done enough. My worth is attached to who He says I am. I am enough. God has the rest. Figuring that out. There is so much we need to keep growing in, as humans. Life is such a journey.
This month was tough. It had wonderful bright spots as well. I went to the Puerto Rican Day Parade and explored the most beautiful town that made me dream again. That sparked something in me. I am grateful for that.
“All that you touch you change. All that you change changes you. The only lasting truth is change.” Octavia E. Butler
“Small things matter when they accumulate. This is one of the main lessons of my work—and one of the principles I try to follow in my life. The details, when finely polished and carefully combined, add up to something remarkable.” James Clear
“Bold-hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards.” Charles Spurgeon
“People be so mad when they leave you for dead and you don’t die.” Lisa Rinna
“We trust that our next breath is there. Let’s begin to trust that other things will be there for us, also.” Louise L. Hay
“All great spirituality is about what we do with our pain.” Richard Rohr
“To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.” Voltaire
“It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“I wish I were a girl again– half-savage and hardy and free.” Emily Bronte
“Do not spoil the wonder with haste.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“In order to do what God has called you to do, you’ll need faith, courage, resilience, tenacity, determination, commitment, strength, hope and love. Running the race and finishing the course is not for the faint of heart. You will face obstacles, challenges, resistance, temptations, disappointments, pain, suffering and heartache, but Jesus is worth it. The call is worth it. The adventure is worth it. The reward is worth it. We only have one life, don’t squander it on stuff that doesn’t matter. Sow your life into your God given purpose and you’ll reap eternal rewards. There’s no greater joy than doing what you’ve been called to do for the glory of the One who called you.” Christine Caine
“Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest on reciprocity.” C.S. Lewis
“There’s some good in the world, and it’s worth fighting for.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“If you wake up feeling fragile, remember that God is not, and then trust Him to be everything you need today.” C.S. Lewis
“I’m 14, at the beach in my hometown, feeling like ‘whatever’ it so boring, who cares really? And then this woman ran out onto the sand and exclaimed ‘It’s the ocean!’ I ask ‘what?’ ‘I grew up in Colorado. I’ve never seen the ocean. My God! There’s so much water; tears began to stream down her face and I thought ‘we’re on the same beach, but mine is boring and hers is beautiful and if I have to choose … I’d rather be in on her beach’ as she walked away continuing to exclaim about palm trees and coconuts I thought about how easily time makes us numb to beauty and how I didn’t want to live that way anymore. For the rest of my childhood, the beach was very different.”- David Holz, Midjourney
“Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian.” D.L. Moody
“Beauty is divine– because in its absence life is too short, too dismal and too tragic. […] Beauty leads you back to what you have lost. Beauty reminds you of what remains forever immune to cynicism.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Go for freedom. Freedom allows you to control what you work on. If you control what you work on, then you can work on what you love. If you love it, you will do it for a long time. If you do it for a long time, you will get really good at it. Money will come as a result.” – Sam Zell
“Rest is not a luxury, afterthought, or feature of entertainment. It is an essential, holy aspect of life as it was meant to be.” Alabaster, Towards Rest
“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardship.” Helen Keller
“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Maya Angelou
“A fool sees not the same tree that a wise man sees.” William Blake
“I just think it’s so f***ing crazy that there have been thousands of uncommonly successful people throughout history and we have so much information about how they did what they did, and yet we hardly seem to devote much in terms of time and resources into reverse-engineering them so that we can birth more ‘exceptional’ ‘geniuses’ into the world and have them solve our biggest problems for us. But I’ve come to understand why that is. It’s because being ‘exceptional’ is scary. Greatness is by definition deviance, and deviance makes people uncomfortable.” – Visakan Veerasamy
“Heat and pressure transform the base matter of common coal into the crystalline perfection and rare value of the diamond. The same can be said of a person.” (I think Jordan B Peterson)
“They seemed to be staring at the dark, but their eyes were watching God.” Zora Neale Hurston (Her writing always makes me miss Florida).
“The free soul is rare, but you know it when you see it– basically because you feel good, very good when you are near or with them.” Charles Bukowski
“Always be on the lookout for the presence of wonder.” E.B. White
“Have stories to tell not stuff to show.” Cara Alwill Leyba
“To love a person is to see all their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten.” Unknown
“Accept what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be.”
“Remember: you will laugh again. You will feel beautiful again. You will fall in love again. You will have hope again. You will feel empowered again. You will feel healthy again. You will feel good again. You will be yourself again. Maybe even better.” Cara Alwill Leyba
“The light has gone out of my life.” Theodore Roosevelt, February 14, 1884
“It’s impossible to have a healthy mutual relationship with any person or organization who is willing to lie and does not live in attachment to truth.” Psalm 82 Initiative
“Weak people revenge. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore.” Albert Einstein
“All sorrows are less with bread.” Miguel de Cervantes
“When poisons become fashionable, they do not cease to kill.” C.S. Lewis
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes. Including you.” Anne Lamott
“Confidence is a side effect of capability. It follows action, not affirmations. The actions, themselves, also matter. You don’t build confidence via standarized tests, Tik-Toks & hours of gaming. Do hard things in the real world. Fail. Get up. Confidence will follow.” Matt Beaudreau
“When a flower grows wild it can always survive. Wildflowers don’t care where they grow.” Dolly Parton
“Courage is found in unlikely places.” J.R.R. Tolkien
“No university turns out a Shakespeare, a Dickens, a Bernard Shaw, a Newton, or an Einstein, a Beethoven or a Mozart. It is their own lives and their own natures that give such men the extra and original something which we call genius, and which raises them above their fellows to the enrichment of us all.” C.G.L. Du Cann
“It’s the ones that are against you that believe in your power the most.” Chervin Jafarieh
July begins. A new 90 days begins. I am making plans to have less plans. I just want to sort of sit in the dirt and run my hands through it. That is where I am at. I want to keep dreaming and plotting how to make dreams reality. Anything is possible with a little rest, slower pace and fun. Don’t forget to dream this month. Think of who you want to be, and be that person every day. One day at a time is all we can do. The rest isn’t promised.
Therapy is something I have found immensely helpful when processing life events or the past. It is an incredible tool that leads to more self-awareness. In April, I started a christian coaching program that when I signed up, I had no idea how needed it was going to be. Both therapy and coaching are processes where we are stretched and challenged and sometimes, affirmed. Sometimes, there are moments where I am like, “nope!” but other times, there is info that comes and soaks me like an unexpected Florida downpour.
Below, you will find some of the gems I have collected from therapy and coaching in the past few months. And below that, I will share some books that have been the equivalent of therapy in pages I can take with me and digest at my own pace (in case you are interested in some really good books– because let’s face it, a good therapist is hard to find).
The treasure box:
Resentment is often a story we build when we believe someone doesn’t care.
If we can’t let go of a story, it often means we have not processed the emotion.
Outcome does not reveal whether something was successful.
It only takes one person to show unconditional love to make others want to jump into that river.
Sometimes, rather than asking “is this true?” it is better to ask yourself “is this thought serving me?”
Some things do not take years of therapy to get past, they only require a moment of processing/awareness and true release.
We can create safety for ourselves.
Focus on what is in your control. That is where you can work your magic.
I have plenty of time to do what I am called to do.
Your most fit and energetic days are ahead of you.
Books that feel like therapy:
Good Morning Monster (every human needs to read this book) by Catherine Gildiner
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Chaos by Jordan B. Peterson
Beyond Order: 12 More Rules for Life by Jordan B. Peterson
‘That’s is because you are older, little one,’ he answered.
‘Not because you are?’
‘I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.’”
Prince Caspian, C.S. Lewis
I loved this passage from C.S. Lewis. It made me reflect on how God is always the same. And yet, as we get older and face life’s deeper complexities and bigger problems, questions and heartache, we start to find God as bigger. We get closer and closer to just how big He really is without ever reaching a full understanding. We catch glimpses of His goodness, His faithfulness, His power— His love. He continually proves Himself, and we learn to see Him with new eyes.
I pray that as I grow older, I see Him as a giant who leads and is also behind me. A shield who fights for me always and never loses. Forever and always my safe haven and fortress. He is everything.
The enemy thought he had taken “everything” from Job. But Job’s everything was God.
I read something powerful yesterday about rest and slowing down. Jesus was in no rush and lived a life full of interruptions, people and an unexpected pace. After Lazarus (His bff) died, it took Him days to get to him. Throughout His ministry you see His “slow” pace.
Sometimes, we attribute this to Jesus’ divinity— but the thought that grabbed me was— what if this was Jesus teaching us to be fully human? What if this was a result of Jesus being human? God showing us who we are and what we should be. Something very different from what the world says we should be.
I was on a coaching call this week, and I heard something that hit me, deep. On these coaching calls, people share things they are struggling with to be coached live. I don’t remember what was being shared, but I do remember the coach’s response:
“Shame is optional.”
I found that to be a powerful response. Sometimes, the stories we tell ourselves are steeped in shame. And yet, shame is not the only story we can tell ourselves. We have a choice.
The coach said that a helpful thing to ask ourselves is:
“How is this situation rigged in our favor?”
Powerful thoughts. I am working on my own mindset constantly. I will be repeating both of these quotes to myself this month. Shame is optional, and how is this rigged in my favor? God is, after all, always at work.
On this Memorial Day weekend, I wanted to post the photos and names of the 13 soldiers who were killed in Afghanistan. While I may not be able to recite their names by heart, their faces stay with me. I pray for their families and extend my gratitude to all who have served and lost their lives serving with humility, duty, honor, and love of country. God bless our troops and the U.S.A.
“The older you get, the more you realize it’s not what happens, but how you deal with it.” Tina Turner, 1939-2023
I love that quote by the legendary Tina Turner, may she rest in peace. This month was the hardest. There were days where all I had were questions, stacked.
Despite the loss and heaviness of the month– I did turn a year older. I saw my family. Played hours of Clue (I love a good board game) and walked thousands of steps per day. I got stronger. I saw an original Andy Warhol. There was healing, and there was pain. I cleaned. I spent time away from work after waiting months to do so. Some were unpleasant but needed days. But even in the darkness, there is light. Light always has a way of reaching us.
This month was the kind of month I need months to recover from, but I am here. As the We Croak App reminds its users, we are alive, and death awaits, so seize the moment.
You will note that many of this month’s quotes belong to Jordan B. Peterson. His book was riveting. Life-changing. The most profound reflection. I share with you some of my favorite parts. Matt Higgins was another figure who inspired my month.
Dr. Taryn Marie says there are no resilient people, just people who choose resilience. That thought kept echoing in my head. The people who choose resilience never cease to amaze me. They are the stars that light up the night as the rest of us chart our course.
Life takes courage. Courage– I have never prayed for it harder.
“That’s a conscious decision to presume the primary goodness of Being. That’s an act of courage. […] Be careful. Put the things you can control in order. Repair what is in disorder, and make what is already good better. It is possible that you can manage, if you are careful. People are very tough. […] Aim continually at Heaven while you work diligently on Earth.” Jordan B. Peterson
“In the middle of Job’s darkest hour, when he was the most discouraged and didn’t think it would ever work out, God said to him in Job 8:21, “I will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy.” God is saying to you what He said to Job. Joy is coming, breakthroughs are coming, healing is coming, promotion is coming. God is about to fill your mouth with laughter. He’s going to do something so amazing, so extraordinary, you’ll be so overwhelmed, so grateful that all you can do is laugh. Your mourning is going to be turned to dancing, your sorrow turned to joy.” Unknown
“Trying to heal, while trying to grieve, while trying to live, while trying to dream, while trying to smile, while trying to give love, while trying to be love.” Unknown; I saw this, and it resonated with my soul. This is the goal of every day, right?
“Joy is the serious business of heaven.” C.S. Lewis; May we never forget it.
“True freedom is the power to possess your own mind, and like use it in a way that uplifts yourself and other souls.” Garrain Jones in conversation with Ed Mylett
“Success is an answer; failure is an answer— not trying is a lifetime of not knowing.” Dr. Taryn Marie
“Being in relationship with God alters our understanding, perception, and attention towards others. People become divine, beautiful beings to be cherished as Imago Dei. […] Every sensation of annoyance towards another becomes an opportunity for compassion and empathy.” pg. 108, Alabaster, Towards Rest
“The reason we feel alienated is because the society is infantile, trivial, and stupid. So the cost of sanity in this society is a certain level of alienation. I grapple with this because I’m a parent. And I think anybody who has children, you come to this realization, you know -what’ll it be? Alienated, cynical intellectual? Or slack- jawed, half-wit consumer of the horseshit being handed down from on high? There is not much choice in there, you see. And we all want our children to be well adjusted: unfortunately, there’s nothing to be well adjusted to!” Terence McKenna
“Escribir es como abrir una ventana a uno mismo. Ayuda a otros a mirar lo que llevamos dentro y a nostros a recordar quienes somos.” Ariadne Artiles; “To write is to open a window to oneself. It helps others see what we carry inside, and it helps us remember who we are.”
“No me gusta la incertidumbre, pero no hay nada mas bonito que dejar que la vida nos muestre lo que nos tiene preparado porque, sin duda, lo mas apasionante es lo que ni siquiera hemos llegado a imaginar.” Ariadne Artiles
“When things break down, what has been ignored rushes in. When things are no longer specified, with precision, the walls crumble, and chaos makes its presence known.” Jordan B. Peterson
“First ask yourself who you want to be, and then do what you have to do.” Epictetus
“Don’t confront the chaos and turn it into order–just wait, anything but naive and innocent, for the chaos to rise up and engulf you instead. Why avoid, when avoidance necessarily and inevitably poisons the future?” Jordan B. Peterson
“Death is only the end if you assume the story is about you.” Welcome to Night Vale
“Something is out there in the woods. You know that with certainty. But often it’s only a squirrel. If you refuse to look, however, then it’s a dragon, and you’re no knight: you’re a mouse confronting a lion; a rabbit, paralyzed by the gaze of a wolf.” Jordan B. Peterson; We must learn to confront life and our issues head-on or fear and imagination will take over.
“There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you win.” Elie Wiesel; This quote hit me like a ton of bricks. A win doesn’t always look like a win from the outside, but the victory is truly for us to detect, even in the unexpected.
“You must determine where you are going in your life, because you cannot get there unless you move in that direction. Random wandering will not move you forward.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Confront the chaos of Being. Take aim against a sea of troubles. Specify your destination, and chart your course. Admit to what you want. Tell those around you who you are. Narrow, and gaze attentively, and move forward, forthrightly. Be precise in your speech.” Jordan B. Peterson
“It is nothing to die. It is frightful not to live.” Victor Hugo
“If you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one.” Dolly Parton
“Here’s the fundamental problem: group identity can be fractionated right down to the level of the individual.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Trust visions that don’t feature buckets of blood.” Some art piece at the MoMA
“There are only two major reasons for resentment: being taken advantage of (or allowing yourself to be taken advantage of), or whiny refusal to adopt responsibility and grow up.” Jordan B. Peterson
“You may do this, I tell you, it is permitted. Begin again the story of your life.” Jane Hirshfield
“Leadership makes all the difference in the world. Yet changing leadership is fraught with friction, so it’s usually considered last. If something isn’t working, assume the person in charge is responsible until proven otherwise. The fish rots from the head.” Matt Higgins
“The dream he needed most was the dream that frightened him more.” Sherman Alexie
“Agreeable, compassionate, empathic, conflict-averse people (all those traits group together) let people walk on them, and they get bitter. They sacrifice themselves for others, sometimes excessively, and cannot comprehend why that is not reciprocated. Agreeable people are compliant, and this robs them of their independence. The danger associated with this can be amplified by high trait neuroticism. Agreeable people will go along with whoever makes a suggestion, instead of insisting, at least sometimes, on their own way. So, they lose their way, and become indecisive and too easily swayed. If they are, in addition, easily frightened and hurt, they have even less reason to strike out on their own, as doing so exposes them to threat and danger (at least in the short term).” Jordan B. Peterson
“And if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of.” Jordan B. Peterson
“I was born with a terrible need for affection and a terrible need to give it.” Audrey Hepburn
“Knowing what must be done does away with fear.” Rosa Parks
“Tragedy at such a time seems particularly unfair. It is the sort of thing that can make you distrust even hope itself. It’s frequently sufficient to cause genuine trauma.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Though I doubted and worried, my disbelief didn’t change God’s plans for me– and all your fears and feelings of defeat will not change God’s plans of provision for you either. God will never abandon His beloved children to hopelessness.” Bonnie Gray
“Silence = death. Act up.” Unknown
“You cannot break free from the crowd while seeking approval from it.” Ed Mylett
“You must decide whether to insist upon the absolute correctness of your view, or to listen and negotiate.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Freedom is not merely a means to some other end or a greater good. Freedom itself is the greatest good.” David Asscherick
“We are healed from suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” Marcel Proust
“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” Albert Camus
“We have been altered in the most profound of ways. By death, yes. But more importantly, by love.” Empowered Through Grief
“Hating life, despising life– even for the genuine pain that life inflicts– merely serves to make life itself worse, unbearably worse.” Jordan B. Peterson
“They’re all good days, if we choose.” Seth Godin
“The key to being emotionally self-regulated is define your baseline of happiness as narrowly as possible so it’s entirely within your control. Meditation. Nature walk. Morning coffee. Chat with loved ones. Simple stuff. More is upside you’re not counting on.” Matt Higgins
“What shall I do with a torn nation? Stitch it back together with careful words of truth.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received– only what you have given: a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice and courage.” Francis of Assisi
“The heightened knowledge of fragility and mortality produced by death can terrify, embitter and separate. It can also awaken. It can remind those who grieve not to take the people who love them for granted.” Jordan B. Peterson
“Life sucks! And then it gets better, and then it sucks again.” Nick Miller (New Girl)
“When you are visited by chaos and swallowed up; when nature curses you or someone you love with illness; or when tyranny rends asunder something of value that you have built, it is salutary to know the rest of the story. All of that misfortune is only the bitter half of the tale of existence, without taking note of the heroic element of redemption or the nobility of the human spirit requiring a certain responsibility to shoulder. We ignore that addition to the story at our peril, because life is so difficult that losing sight of the heroic part of existence could cost us everything.” Jordan B. Peterson
GABRIELA YARELIZ 