GABRIELA YARELIZ

The Thing with Dark Ponds

“People are like that, too, you know. They start over. They find a way.”
Celeste Ng

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I am not going to lie– I can be an annoying person to watch something with. I dislike things that resemble the harshness of our reality. Don’t sit me down to watch some war film when there is an actual war happening out there (if I wanted to see a war, I would turn on the news). It is not my jam. I am a rom-com type girl. Give me a funny protagonist in some faked-up version of NYC with an unrealistic wardrobe, and I am there.

My movie and show preferences have come to my attention extra when my fiancé and I sit down to choose something to watch. He likes a good drama, and the movies I like aren’t always his jam. By now, I have watched a good handful of movies I would have never chosen on my own to watch. (And he has watched two handfuls of movies he likely would have never watched had I not picked them). Many of his picks are good and interesting; worth the risk and time. I have been pleasantly surprised. But when it’s choosing time, I can be picky.

Recently, I got to pick Pilgrim’s Progress as one of our films. It’s a beautiful film (in my opinion). Today, after a hearty meal, we were deciding what to watch to relax since neither of us has time to watch anything during the week, and he mentioned a newish show. It looked like a drama (with great actresses), and I pushed back. Eventually, at an impasse as he still refuses to watch White Chicks (LOL), we settled on The Office, a safe mutual favorite.

I reflected, though, and realized I wasn’t fair in my assessment of the new series. I hadn’t watched a minute of it, and he had watched a favorite of mine, so I decided to give it a shot. Guys, all my trigger fears were realized immediately. In the first 20 minutes, I kid you not, I saw a piece of my past unfold as we were watching. I saw the houses on the show looked exactly like houses from an Ohio neighborhood where I lived for several years. The mom and daughter are close, and the mom is a single parent. The show opens where the mom and daughter are sleeping in their car, and then, they go to a public restroom at the grocery store where they proceed to take a refresher bath with wipes and brush their teeth. The protagonists have moved a million times. I have shared all of these experiences with my own mother. As I watched on the screen so many things I have lived before, I was stunned. It was triggering. So much so, that tears sprang to my eyes without warning, and to cover up my emotional reaction, I laughed. (Not a normal laugh, but like a nervous crazy laugh– I am being honest here).

I still can’t really believe I have seen scenes of my life sort of play out in front of me on some random Hulu show. (It’s fresh, y’all). But I learned something important today, I’ve been repelled by and shut out many things that made me feel like I might be reminded of something or because I am afraid certain emotions will be summoned from some dark recess of my soul. Today, it was like that fear came true– and pretty dramatically. It was bizarre.

What we watched was interesting and intriguing. Maybe we will watch another episode some other time, or maybe not. What I did find interesting was that on the day I finally decided to give something a chance, it ended up being some weird recounting of maybe some of the most strange and unrelatable moments of my life. It was almost too on point (to the point of being creepy). Creepy and all, I survived it. The tears came spilling out in a weird reactive moment of realization, but I was able to then sit back and detach from it. Part of me has felt like, This is why I don’t watch dramas or things like this. Another part of me felt less alone. Seen, almost.

It intrigues me to think that maybe the things that have the biggest potential as art are the things that make us feel deeply. They make us shifty in our seats and make us laugh and look away as we discretely wipe away tears. We all, in our own little ways, avoid the things that make us uncomfortable.

We avoid dark pond waters, sometimes, as we don’t know how deep the pond actually goes. At times, we don’t want to know. We pick the clearer light distractions, but these distractions, like clear water, reveal a shallow bottom. Sometimes, in our quest to avoid pain, we forget that it’s when we look into the dark pond waters that we can catch a glimpse of our own reflection and see ourselves.

Olvido

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I heard Erwin McManus say that when cultures do not change, they repeat behaviors. We see this in how the world operates. Political systems showcase this.

Just the other day, I was looking at an article in The New Yorker which reminded me of the Pacto del Olvido (the pact to forget), which was Spain’s way of trying to move on from Franco’s rule once he died in 1975. The truth is nations have their spiritual and political baggage. We don’t just shed that baggage by pretending nothing ever happened. I mean look at the way nations governed people throughout the pandemic and the policies enacted. Has anything really changed? Many countries’ policies mirrored roots from the past.

While reading Eric Metaxas, he brings the great point that we often think ourselves more superior and sophisticated than people in the past. Not sure why we think of them as dumb peasants or something, but the truth is we are no different. Granted, the things available to us are different, (technology, abundance, etc.), but our propensities, emotions and our nature remain the same.

Clearly, the Ukraine-Russia conflict is front of mind. My heart aches for all who are suffering. As I have thought about the conflict and had discussions about it, I couldn’t help but think about history. What makes what Putin is doing different from what all empires and imperial powers have done in the past? (Note this doesn’t justify it at all). But my point is, just as people see Putin as the devil incarnate, plenty of invaded and subjugated peoples and lands see the U.S., Britain, France, Spain and other world powers in a similar, if not the same, way. Humans don’t change in the way they operate.

This led my thoughts to, Why do people invade places or conquer people? When we look at history, we could just say power and wealth and move on. The answer, however, has always been more complex. (Note again that this doesn’t make it right).

What does power mean? If we look at history, it has not been just the ability to hold onto something, and pillage or annex it. The reason power means so much to us (as humans) is the implications of it. It’s influence and a legacy of strength (and often cruelty). As humans, we are all seeking influence. Both Putin and Zelenskyy are not only fighting a fight of land and sovereignty but one of influence. Putin comes from a power that once had more influence than it does now, and he is on a mission to restore that influence.

When it comes to world powers, influence has always been key, and its effects last for generations. It not only means a political ideology– it means language, religion, and lifestyle/culture. Lifestyle (food, conflict, behavioral responses, traditions) has such far-reaching effects that it affects our epigenetics. It has an impact on our health and DNA (how we process foods or respond to trauma), and we pass this on to our children, and they pass it on to their children. It’s wild when you think about it.

Just look at Spain and the impact it had in the Americas. It brought with it architecture, foods and ingredients, language, religion, and traditions. It’s undeniable, regardless of how one feels about it.

We all wonder what is next. Will China make a bold and swift move toward Taiwan? Does anyone else in Europe have eyes set on neighboring land and people? To be honest, Hitler, Mussolini, and Franco were not that long ago. There are generations alive who have vivid memories and feelings about what transpired and how to move forward. Colonialism isn’t dead. Puerto Rico is the oldest colony in the world, at the hands of the U.S. We humans subsist on incredible double standards in how we analyze the world and world leaders.

Societies change. The fierce attitude of the Roman or Greek empires has passed away. I’d say that by comparison, our countries are led by men of weakness, but ambitious men, nonetheless. Will history repeat itself? It feels like the inevitable answer is ‘yes.’ Further, now that attacks are cyber and nuclear, it feels like all of us (and our bank accounts) are dragged into this.

As we watch how things continue to unfold on the world stage, we must remember what is at stake. Every time influence is won, its impacts reach beyond present times and influence shifts history.

Empires rise, and empires fall. And unfortunately, we are all just in the middle of it. No one can ignore it, and the ones of the past cannot be forgotten.

February 2022 Favorites

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It has been a rollercoaster of a month. It was warm on some days and bitterly cold on others. We did our Adele series. There is war. Apparently, Putin eliminated the pandemic by invading Ukraine (thanks, Putin?). Inflation was through the roof even prior to the Ukraine-Russia conflict (thanks, Biden?). There is change in the air. We are on the fast track toward Easter.

I am sharing here the things that had me thinking this month:

(Friend) Speech

By: Gabriela Yareliz

We will get extra personal today. Uncensored speech. I have been thinking about this a lot lately in regard to friendship. Do we as adults need more friendships? Is there some sort of age cap? Modern friendships are weird. We have a world that wants to opinion check everyone. If you don’t agree, somehow you are out, and this has seeped into how we relate to each other not just public figures. (Neil Young has unknowingly become his own worst nightmare).

What I have found interesting is how we can sometimes self-censor ourselves based on who we are around. There are different levels of intimacy and also sometimes this means an appropriate level of discretion. Sometimes, we do it because we know that person can’t handle us or whatever we are about to say, but then, is it worth it? I have found that in relationships that end up being more one-sided where one person shares but is unwilling to listen, it’s something draining and not worth doing. But believe me, there is a price to pay.

Friendship has been an odd thing in my life. Maybe it’s because I was always the long-distance friend. I was always moving, so it’s not like many people would journey through different life phases with me. Still, I have some friendships I treasure very much. Friendships that have spurred me onto growth, have pushed me to see the world differently, ones where we have grown together and also ones that were a branch to hold onto when life felt like a waterfall. There are a handful that have stood the test of time and distance.

Still, I have to say that recent friendships (or attempts at them) have been so strange. Things I noticed/learned in some recent weird moments: I found that because I am often amenable and a listener, someone built a fake image of me in their head based on assumptions or perceptions not based on what I actually expressed. This person came to visit and was trying to tell me who I was, which I think resulted in confusion for her because she realized that whatever she had decided about me in her head didn’t match my reality, which she had ignored.

I feel like I lost a friend who I was in touch with regularly based on a conversation we had where she expressed a lot of fear, and I encouraged her to not be afraid (I am not kidding). That led us down a rabbit hole where she realized we weren’t the same voice in an echo chamber. The conversation felt drenched in condescension and virtue signaling, and on my end, I was just frustrated and irritated that I couldn’t be accepted when I had often offered encouragement and solidarity to her because of who she was and not necessarily based on whether I agreed with her. That conversation amplified what I knew all along. I never pretended to be like her, I simply listened to her and respected her views. Apparently, that did not go both ways. She distanced herself, and that was that.

I have had friends who see me as accountability (I didn’t ask for that), and then when they needed to act against conscience, they fled. I guess the common denominator is that when it’s time for me to express myself and the other party pauses long enough to actually hear what I am saying, I often face a person lashing out at me. Have these past couple of years turned us into something weird?

I was listening to an interesting conversation on Battle Ready between the McManuses, and some things they said stood out to me:

[The discussion was on hate mail received when someone disagreed with something Erwin said. You wouldn’t believe the amount of hate mail I receive on the reg, so this caught my attention].

Erwin McManus: “They tore me to shreds, and I remember thinking to myself, So did you only listen to me because everything I said happened to always agree with you, and then the moment I said something that you disagreed with, you set me on fire? And I think that the reality is that most of us only listen to ourselves in other people’s voices.”

Aaron Mcmanus: “And there is something to that, right? I would say that something I am learning in the beginning of this year is that a prerequisite for friendship is if that friend listens to you or not. And not just on the other side of the table, but actually, when you ask each other for life advice, or don’t ask each other for life advice but the other one gives it or you give it, if they actually listen to it. I don’t know if I want to be friends– not even like cordial, well cordial yes, but not even like fringe friend with people who are unwilling to listen to each other.”

This hit home for me. I think I have realized that many modern friendships consist of people who want to be heard in their problems and insecurities and want affirmation or something, but when you talk, they aren’t listening. They only listen if you are saying what they want to hear. And then, when one day they take a pause and actually hear what you are saying, suddenly, it’s like, You aren’t what I wanted you to be!

The conversation continues:

Aaron McManus: “Are you open to accountability in your life? And it’s like, Oh my gosh, no one has ever asked that like that. And it’s like, Yes, but what does that look like?”

Erwin McManus: “I think it’s a great question because no one can hold you accountable to anything you don’t want to be accountable for. We are all too good at hiding and lying and faking, and so people are always asking me, Do you have an accountability team? And I say, Everyone I know whose life has crashed and burned had one of those. And the reality is that accountability begins with you, and then when you hold yourself accountable, your friends actually know they can speak into your life because they are trying to help you become what you already decided you want to become. No one can make you who you don’t want to be. But people can help you on your journey to become who you want to be.”

And I think that has been what I have been lacking and not had good discernment about. I am approached for advice and counsel type friendships all the time, whether it’s in my DMs or emails, or however people find me. And at times, people have expressed the desire for accountability and openness, but they aren’t there with themselves, and that has to happen first. When I heard this, it hit me hard.

I am a part of no one’s accountability team unless they keep themselves accountable and are constantly seeking growth. I am accountable for myself. And maybe that is why I search out people who are different than me, I really love to hear difference. Unfortunately, many on the other side of certain friendships with me didn’t desire that and weren’t ready for it.

I want more discernment. I want to keep holding myself accountable and growing so that others can speak into my life. I want to cultivate friendships where I am not lashed out at when I pitch my two cents, and it suddenly doesn’t match up with what the other side wants to hear. I want to find people who can hear me out and not invent me in their heads to their eventual disappointment. I don’t want people who see me as a conscience and flee from me. I guess it all comes down to the basic things we all seek, acceptance and sincerity.

I agree with Aaron, also in my 30s with him, I am learning that life is too short to be in intolerant dynamics. One should seek out different, but the different that is ready to go deep and in love and sincerity push toward growth. The other stuff isn’t worth the fringe. Many modern friendships look like manipulation.

Here is to the friendships that keep us sane. The ones that require no censorship. The ones that inspire us to reach our God-given potential for a life on fire. Burn bright.

Crossed the Line

“I can assure you that those of us who have woken up to corruption aren’t going back to sleep. People don’t go back to sleep after waking up from this dream. Our eyes are wide open and the fight for our freedom is on.” Ashley Taylor @ ashleytaylorwellness

By: Gabriela Yareliz

The world seems to be on fire. It’s terrifying to see what is happening in Canada, so close to us here. Journalists are being arrested, bank accounts frozen— all under orders from an incompetent coward.

We could wish for it to all go away and revert to what was. But how does one unsee this? How does one forget the incredible and brash display of evil we are witnessing on a global scale? How does one forget the ones who cheered this on and didn’t see this as evil at all? That’s the wild thing. There are people who think Trudeau is right. There are people in Australia and New Zealand who want another lockdown. I get direct messages from them all the time; messages drenched in fear and an insatiable desire for whatever they believe is safety. They have made fear their nest, and there is no desire to leave it. They are afraid of a world of uncertainty, not realizing they lived in it before.

It’s wild, today’s interactions. Where one can be treated as subhuman for one’s views. If one doesn’t agree with what is mainstream, one is categorized as “ignorant poor” (literally saw this in an article the other day, and I laughed). There are people who express that they don’t care what happens to you. It’s like anarchy. The level of crime and disregard for human rights, life and what we all have in common.

Is there a reverting back? Will we be going back to Broadway shows and really care about New York Fashion Week when a woman was murdered in her own apartment a block away? When these same places irrationally discriminated against others and barred entry?

We have crossed a line, and I don’t think there is a way back.

The question then becomes, where do we go from here? The present moment marks us and changes us forever.

“It seems to us unwise, and even to border on willful, spiritual blindness, for a movement which has repeatedly emphasized that Jesus is coming soon and has long taught that liberty of conscience will be severely curtailed in the last days, to refuse to see the restrictions of freedom taking place around the globe as a precursor or foreshadowing of climactic future events that will pose an even greater threat to freedom of conscience. It is clear to us, and to many other thoughtful observers, that we are on the verge of momentous, earth-shaking events. May God give us spiritual alertness to recognize the times in which we live and to declare the message of truth for our times, a message which offers freedom, wholeness, and abundant living while on this world and eternal fellowship with Jesus in the world to come.” Liberty & Health Alliance

He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are oppressed;
To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.
Luke 4:18-19

[In solidarity with the Canadian truckers, journalists on the ground facing danger, those who face termination for noncompliance in NYC and elsewhere, the churches refusing to benefit financially from discriminatory and senseless regulations, establishments who do not refuse entry and service to fellow humans, and all who raise their voices for freedom of conscience].

The Adele Music Series

By: Gabriela Yareliz

We walked through many of Adele’s hits and albums and how they relate to her life. She was a fun one to look at. Her songs very much reflect where she was as an artist and as a woman. And it’s not over yet… Wishing her the best, as she enters yet another new chapter.

Post Directory:

Make You Feel: We looked at how she emerged into the artist world, through her album 19, and general observations regarding her music and relationships.

Rain: Looking at “Set Fire to the Rain,” what makes relationships toxic, questioning how we land there and setting standards in love. Sometimes, an end is a beginning and pain is part of being reborn.

Deep: Examining “Rolling in the Deep,” letting go of what we think could have been and finding clarity.

Uninvited: We look at “Someone Like You.” Letting go of old loves, the desire to not be forgotten and love that lasts.

Hello, 25: Looking at Adele’s most stable album. Her pivot into adulthood via motherhood, a new relationship and facing inevitable change.

Ready: Here, we look at “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”. We look at the relationships where a partner can’t handle us and the maturity and empowerment in (truly) moving on.

Hard: In this post, we look at “Easy on Me” and Adele in her 30 album. In my opinion, we find a woman who seems lost again. Hopefully, she proves me wrong.

Check out our other music series here.

Justice

“If judges do not act justly, then individuals do not have the opportunity to act mercifully.”
Good Kills: God, Good and The Sword, David Engelhardt

By: Gabriela Yareliz

One of the most comforting attributes about God, to me, is the fact that He is just. I don’t know why I find so much comfort in that, but I do. Maybe it’s that same internal thing that led me to the profession of law in the first place. I like good to be rewarded, and I like bad to be punished and separated so no one else gets hurt. I like mercy displayed for those who need it.

I’ve been practicing for years now (looking forward to the decade marker), and as time progresses, it has been harder to explain and understand the path society and my profession have undertaken. A lot of what we see out there like bail reforms where murderers walk around hurting more and more people or even certain government aid, we call it “social justice,” but it’s a perversion of the word itself.

As I was reading Good Kills: God, Good and The Sword, the author David Engelhardt hits the nail on the head when he defines ‘justice’ as getting what is owed to you. Therefore, if someone who works to gain more has more, and then he/she is stripped of that to give to another who did not work for it, that is not justice, it’s grace at best.

He shares the example of a person who works a whole year and saves up for a car. When the car is stolen, not only is the literal car stolen, but that year of effort and saving. It’s a violation.

Engelhardt writes that we have created a society that feels that so much is owed to it, and it’s true. I see it every day. “The entitlement created by economic mercy unhitched to economic justice is devastating,” he writes. People believe they are “owed” free housing or “owed” a stipend of some kind (and I don’t take the housing crisis lightly, as I work in that area and help people who face housing insecurity)– but the truth is that no one is owed anything they didn’t work or pay for. That’s just very matter a fact. Anything someone gets that wasn’t earned is grace. We have tried to make “grace” the new definition of “justice”, and yet they are opposites.

And while we all need grace and receive grace and mercy from God, a functional society can’t exist without consequences and cause and effect, or someone (or many) gets hurt.

What makes a law just? Engelhardt writes that they are laws that “promote and perpetuate life.” We see a clear statement of this through the Ten Commandments.

Engelhardt emphasizes that life isn’t some sort of gift where everything is owed to us. That isn’t even Biblical. Instead, he points to Scripture where God sees life as an investment. “Life, on the other hand, is entrusted to us with definitive obligations. We cannot do whatever we want with our lives; the correct use of life is taking what was given to you and giving God a return on His investment.” We do this out of love and honor toward Him because He has given us something we cannot earn.

He points to the parable of the servants who were given talents as an example of this. We have an obligation to live the precious life given to us, to the max. We carry the breath of God in us. (Job 33:4) When we fail to live life with duty, there is a consequence. Jesus called the servant who did not grow “wicked”. (Matthew 25: 26) The servants who invested and grew their given talents were rewarded. Not all of them were given the same, but all who did something were rewarded in measure. God operates in a just manner. Note that just doesn’t mean everyone operates with the same things or resources. Nothing is owed to us, but something is entrusted to us (to every single one). We reap what we sow, despite a society that tries to make it not so.

If you have been wronged, had something taken from you, or been violated, then you have a taste of what it’s like to be owed something. In God’s world, evil pays a price. There is restitution and healing offered, which means it matters. In a society that allows wrongdoers to victimize more people without consequence and expects us to see this as “justice”– it’s not. We know in our heart of hearts that it’s not because we were made in His image. The fact that we are made in His image means we hunger for that which is a deep part of Him. To want consequences, to want fairness as God sees it– that is not wrong or racist or controversial. It’s not hypocritical just because we all are undeserving and need grace. It’s instilled in us.

It’s the way God has and will always operate. To be connected to and reflect God means to want true justice. It means to be a good steward. It means a desire to stop evil in its tracks to spare others from pain until the day we can all stand before the true Judge. Hopefully, that day, we can all hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees… you have disregarded the weightier matters of the law: justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.”
Matthew 23:23-24

Hard

By: Gabriela Yareliz

We are zooming out on the timeline. We move from album 25 to 30. We now meet an Adele who is deep in motherhood and divorced. Adele leaves a relationship that was seemingly normal given her expressed track record. She speaks highly of her ex-husband and says she trusts him with her life and that no one “did anything wrong.” (Source)

People always seem to find themselves after they are married and have kids. Can we learn to do this before we hurt others? (A general question for the species)

She told Vogue, “I was just going through the motions, and I wasn’t happy.” I get annoyed when I hear stuff like this. I am annoyed for the kids involved and for people who are hurt. You have a presumably perfectly good man next to you, and it’s like, “Nah I am bored. I miss the pain of dysfunction. This isn’t me.” WHAT IS THIS? This is what defines Adele’s 30 album for me. It’s a woman who was bored and leaves her husband, and now, to top it off, she is going to write sad songs about it and about how she is finding herself (something any well-meaning adult does before marrying another human being who has feelings). (TF). Also emerging with the album was a woman who had a totally new look. In some photos, some said she looked unrecognizable.

Maybe, she knew how Eat, Pray, Love this album was going to be (hate that book), and so she started with the single “Easy on Me” for people like me. Meh. As someone who has experienced the aftermath of a divorce in a family, I am not really into the whole recklessness of making life-altering decisions and going back on commitments. People go into these commitments so negligently. In family law, professors half-joke that we should make getting married harder and less will face the even harder concept of getting divorced. I know the world sees this Adele move as empowering and will have a very different opinion than me, but I don’t take things like marriage and children lightly. People just need to grow up. We, as people, are always changing. If this was an excuse to leave someone, no one would stay married. Everyone would have an out.

“Easy on Me” comes off as a song of excuses, it is riddled with phrases like:

/I was still a child
Didn’t get the chance to
Feel the world around me
I had no time to choose what I chose to do/

Woman, you were not 12 when you got married. It was a full-on adult choice. The time to realize you had not “felt the world” was before having a child and involving another person. I guess what bothers me most is that her past is filled with all these supposedly evil men she sings about, and then she finds a good one, and she leaves. On one hand, she is changing, her look is changing, she is finally “feeling the world” around her, but when it comes to the relationship, she sings, “There ain’t no room for things to change; When we are both so deeply stuck in our ways”.

She states that she changed who she was for this person and tried and tried, and now she gives up. She had “good intentions” and “the highest hopes.” Album 25 felt like a woman who had matured and “let go of her ghosts,” and here, at 30, we find ourselves with a woman who is possessed by her ghosts and sort of lost again. It’s common knowledge that she hasn’t been alone since separating from her husband. Is this still an Adele trying to find herself in the reflection of other’s eyes? She asks for us to go easy on her, but I recognize I’ve gone full on hard. The music video goes from black and white to full color. It’s brighter than some of her really old videos, which were always filmed with darkness as a sort of theme, but given the recent Adele headlines, I wonder if she has really left the black and white behind.

Arbiters

By: Gabriela Yareliz

As someone who interacts with Christians from all political leanings online through my website, I have observed how subtly and yet blatantly we have turned from Scripture on many issues and sort of made ourselves our own little gods. We often gravitate toward whatever makes us feel righteous, good, included and unlike whoever we have othered or judged in our minds.

I have been reading through Good Kills: God, Good, and The Sword by David Engelhardt. A refreshing but heavy-ish book after I finished my mystery novel by some “cutting edge” New Yorker that was not a “masterpiece” unlike what the cover said. (I promise you, the writer himself couldn’t explain the ending to his own book, it was so bad). But back to Good Kills, which is much better– my most recent passage was about morality and how we see current issues. It reminded me of a conversation I had with someone who works in ministry. She had told me that abortion was not wrong as it only affects the woman, not the unborn child or anyone else involved. I was bewildered not by her position regarding abortion, but more by the reasoning behind it, which was so clearly unbiblical. It made me wonder when we (me included) became arbiters of what is right or wrong or what is oppressive and what is oppressed or when we as a church and its leadership discarded God’s ideas about life concepts and created our own.

It made me think that we are in the messes we find ourselves in because if there is anything the pandemic has taught us it’s that many spit on the privilege/advantage of others and want to make them pay for it, but when given even an ounce or a possibility at reserving power, privilege or control for themselves, they don’t hesitate to take it. We haven’t just lied to each other about why we find ourselves so broken and shattered as a society. Worse, we have lied to ourselves.

We often think that it is a society without God that we must guard against. What we have failed to realize is that many of us, as revealed in the way that we see (and treat) others, have made ourselves god instead, and that, perhaps, is even scarier.

The only solution is to walk toward something set outside of us. Something that challenges and humbles us. Something that reminds us that we are not the deciders of standards and morality, but that it was set long before we came along in our arrogance.

Ready

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Today, we are looking at another song from Adele’s reconciliatory 25 chapter, “Send My Love (To Your New Lover)”. I love the melody of this song. It’s a bop. It’s also in that category of things you wish you could say in life but never do because it’s weird.

Adele starts the song by emphasizing that whomever she was talking about invited her into the relationship. He was ready, and she was his “everlasting love.”

She continues with:

/I’m giving you up
I’ve forgiven it all
You set me free…/

See, now this is an anthem. This is the song I wish could replace “Someone Like You.” No one should want a fool back. In this song, she doesn’t want him back, she is finally freeeeee.

The chorus is this incredibly grownup response to someone from her past (who hurt her), moving on. She sings:

/Send my love to your new lover
Treat her better
We’ve gotta let go of all of our ghosts
We both know we ain’t kids no more/

She sends her best to his new partner, and simultaneously sends a message to him that she hopes he has grown up and can treat her (the new girl) better.

That’s the weird thing about relationships. Different relationships bring out different sides of us. Life can shape us in ways that change us, and we can be different people in different relationships. Have you ever seen two divorced people, and you wonder who they were or how in the world they fit in a puzzle together in the past? I know I have. But that’s the thing. People grow up. People learn. (Some people don’t, by the way). But that’s one of the mysteries of life.

Then there is reference to letting go of ghosts. The video plays with this idea as she is sort of translucent and images of her sort of overlap with one another.

In the second stanza, she talks about how she was like strong heat rising, and he couldn’t take it. She emphasizes that she is still rising. She sings that he couldn’t “keep up.” She makes it clear that this was a relationship where she shone too brightly, and he wasn’t a fan. (Not the best dynamic).

Her attitude throughout the song is very much of someone who is past something and extending an olive branch of sorts. Like an I-wish-you-well-but-not-sure-you-are-capable-of-better.

I almost didn’t post about this song, but she actually comes through in this song. It’s a good one. It’s a mature track filled with actual self-worth rather than it being a victimized scorned lover anthem.

She ends the song with a repetitive:

/If you’re ready, if you’re ready/

And you know what Adele, we are ready. Ready and here for this empowered version of you.