Reflections Before Bedtime #94

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s a good thing my heart is stubborn. It’s also a bit like snow. It can be tough; it can be soft; and it melts in inevitable warmth. It sparkles. It glows. Magic.

It’s a good thing I befriend people by force. Before they know it, I have come into their lives and left a hand print or two.

This little persistent heart did not make it out of 2016 unscathed. It got a little bruised and trampled. It got a little cold and melted. It hurt and healed. It exhausted itself and found rest.

I continue to learn. I continue to grow. If one thing is clear, it’s that this journey is about who I want to be as a person. This is about what I want to give as a person.

Despite all the insanity– I am still hoping; I am still loving; and I am going to keep pressing forward. I want to be the woman who never gave up; the woman who loved; the woman who believed. The woman who brought her own brand of magic with her, no matter where she went.

How Many Kings?

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Oftentimes, we feel alone in our wandering through this human journey– alone in that we feel God doesn’t understand our pain or our struggles. We see God as distant, far– and yet, this season reminds us that God left His throne to assume flesh. He became man and faced our nature and struggles. He faced and carried the pain of the world.

The season reminds us God is near and that God understands His creation. He is Creator and Redeemer. He is King. It also reminds us of a faithful God who keeps His promises. A God who is love.

Compatibility

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[Image from Tumblr]

“Our culture has really fallen for this idea that compatibility is this thing you find or this thing you test for– and that’s just not true. Compatibility is something you create. You learn to enjoy one another; you learn to be compatible. […] Character trumps compatibility; compatibility flows from your character.” Pastor Ted Cunningham, Adding Some Spice to Your Marriage Comedy Hour, Focus on the Family Podcast

Truth Commission

By: Gabriela Yareliz

In my study of human rights, few things fascinated me as much as truth commissions, also known as reconciliation commissions. They are known as commissions (and essentially tribunals) that look at and investigate wrongdoing by governments and individual actors in situations like civil wars, genocide and mass atrocities.

To be honest, often times, there is no justice or compensation that can be given to people for what they have gone through, but the commissions have still proven to be important in the international justice system. People need to be heard. They don’t just want to be heard; they need to be heard. They want to make sure their story is not forgotten. They want to make sure no one invalidates or dismisses their experience or pain.

In these truth commissions, people tell their stories. Sometimes, in heart-wrenching detail. While the truth can’t rectify the past wrong(s), it has the power to heal. These commissions have been instrumental in a healing process for people.

Scripture itself says that the “truth will set you free,” John 8:32. The prophet Zechariah (8:16) said we should “speak the truth to one another.” Truth heals. Truth brings understanding. Truth brings reconciliation; that is why the commissions are alternatively called truth and reconciliation commissions.

Today, I had my own truth commission. It came from a place seeking hope, growth and more healing. I wasn’t looking for justice; I didn’t do it with malice– I simply wanted to be heard and understood. To be honest, I was heard, but I wasn’t understood. But if there is something I have learned from history and these commissions, it’s that it takes nations more than a day to heal and reconcile. And sometimes, at the end of the day, all that matters is that you respected yourself enough and were brave enough to confront and share a painful truth. Not everyone has the courage to face truth. Truth often holds hands with pain.

I spoke. And while I can’t control what effect my story has on another, I can control what effect it has on me. And like most who go to these truth commissions to tell their stories, I am ready to move on. I told my story. Don’t forget it. It happened, it’s true, and with the same strength, I am setting myself free.

Reflections Before Bedtime #93

On her 17th wedding anniversary, Kusha Alagband shares these words of wisdom:

“The truth is […] your partner may not always spoil you, may not always treat you like a princess. He may forget to complement you every day. Some things fade. Those giddy little stomach flutters fade and you’re then left with reality. There will be days he may even forget to tell you you’re beautiful, even though you need to hear it. There will be days he will forget to say I love you, and on and on. Some things fade, and when they do, what’s left is what’s truly worth fighting for. Love isn’t always beautiful, heck, it’s not even close to being perfect half the time. Despite what some claim, love is not easy. It’s hard work. It requires accountability and responsibility. It’s a commitment. It’s presence. It is a daily practice. Anyone that pretends otherwise, is deeply misguided. Feelings change, the spark dies down and what you’re left with is something you either chose to fight for or you don’t. When you know that even though those things are gone, you’re still willing to fight for every breath,then you know the love is real.”

Happy anniversary to this beautiful couple. May you always fight for your love; may it always be true.

Tuesday Badinage: November 29, 2016

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s raining in NYC, today. Christmas decorations are up. The city looks beautiful and glittery, like the movies. I had a hectic morning. Lost my metro card, missed my train, almost didn’t make it into Court on time because of the weather and the long security line wrapped around the building. I made it. The Christmas decor was inspiring me, along the way.

I started thinking about how festive this time is. There is no doubt that the birth of the Messiah is worth celebration. It’s a new life; grace; hope– actually scratch that. It’s not even just hope; it’s a promise. A promise fulfilled. And in a world where everything including promises are broken, a promise kept when our lives depended on it, is worth celebrating. A God who intervenes out of Love; that is worth celebrating. Light has come to shine out of darkness; that is worth celebrating.

Reflections Before Bedtime #92

“Her mind is an unquiet one, words and thoughts and impulses constantly crashing into each other.”
– David Levithan

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Is it bad that I am exhausted from the weekend? I had decided to rest this weekend until I decided to venture to grounds that don’t let me so much as sit down (much less rest), and I decided to satisfy a weird craving for homemade Colombian arepas. I slaved over them for hours, and when it came time to eat, all I wanted to do was collapse on the bed. My friend Cathy said it was a bit like making tortillas from scratch. God help us.

I have found new creative outlets, like cooking more daring and creative pieces of art. I have gone back to old creative outlets, like flipping through magazines.

These days, I am sitting cross-legged on my hardwood floor, wrapping gifts. I am fully anticipating my first real, stress-free vacation after entering the working world.

It feels like the world is changing, and changing quickly. Everything is spinning. Elections, heartbreaks, people quitting, people getting hired, people getting married, people dying– it’s a whirlwind.

It feels like my mind never stops. I wake up feeling exhausted.

In the end, all I do is I reduce. I try to reduce my anxieties into the basics of what is important. I want those important to me to genuinely love me and I want to show them genuine love; I want to be loved and for all the right reasons; I want to do my work to the best of my ability and make food that tastes good.

Not too long ago, I sat on a couch with a man who was interrogating me. He didn’t ask me at what exact time I was born because it simply didn’t occur to him. He covered all the other bases. He was arrogant and disapproving– extremely nosy, to say the least. He made comments with rivers of insinuations running through them, leaving me uncomfortable and cold.

Then, later, I sat on a different couch with the loveliest older woman. She just held my hand affectionately and barely said a word. She just squeezed my hand reassuringly. She was she and I was me. It’s amazing how it’s not even words that can show intent and transparency but something unspoken.

I try to remind myself of that– no matter how many words are clashing in my head, or how many words I long to hear, it’s what’s in my heart that matters, instead.

Baar Baar Dekho– Look Again and Again

img_4155“You were my yesterday, you will be my tomorrow, and you are always my now.” Baar Baar Dekho

The Hindi language is always poetic, just like its films.

When asked what she hopes people will take away from the film Baar Baar Dekho, Katrina Kaif said: “Not to take the people in your life for granted; not to always be striving and pursuing the thought that there is someone better out there. Really think and sit down and evaluate what this person gives to you, and if you see and you respect the depth and you have that love between you, then value it and respect it.” #relationshipgoals

[Image from Bollywood Cat]