Make You Feel

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s 2022, and I thought, Why not another music series? You all have really liked these. As you know, I am not the person who always has headphones in, listening to music. I am usually listening to a podcast, if anything. (Or, I am talking to my mom or my abuela).

We’ve looked at deep songwriters like Gwen Stefani, and some artists where their music isn’t as profound, but it marks their journey through life (dating, marriages, affairs, loss), see JLO and Beyonce. So as I thought, Who else can we analyze the hell out of? There has been one person on my radar for a while– she has incredible talent as a vocalist and songwriter. A jackpot. She sort of came out of nowhere and is one of the world’s best-selling artists– Adele. I remember being in the walkway by the student center at UF. My friend popped her headphone into my ear and was like, Listen to this. We sat there on a bench. We both were solemn. Didn’t move. Her unfamiliar voice was powerful and authoritative. It sort of cuts through you. Man, this is depressing, I thought.

I still think that. Her music puts me in a weird frame of mind. It’s not something I play often, but there is a lot to be said about it. I recognize that. Her music is something people identify with. There is an element of heartbreak and sorrow to it all, so I feel like her albums are a soundtrack for the broken hearted.

Her first album, 19, was considered an “‘essential’ blue-eyed soul recording.” (Source) She had a tour in 2008-2009, and she canceled some dates outside of the UK to be with a former boyfriend. Key word, “former.” I am not kidding. This type of action sort of reflects who she is, someone centered on relationships from a very young age. This isn’t something that makes her unique. Most young love has flavors of dysfunction in it, just simply due to the lack of maturity of the parties.

Adele comes off as a suffering old soul mixed with a needy insecure woman due to her voice and lyrics; she sometimes gives me Taylor Swift vibes. She sings with strength, but her lyrics are often riddled with victim red flags. It’s that whole, let-me-love-you, you-have-no-idea-how-great-I-really-am vibe. She has done well capitalizing on her sorrows (sometimes self-inflicted). I’ll give her that.

She said to Nylon magazine about her canceled tour dates: “I can’t believe I did that. It seems so ungrateful… I was drinking far too much and that was kind of the basis of my relationship with this boy. I couldn’t bear to be without him, so I was like, ‘Well, I’ll just cancel my stuff then.'” According to sources, she calls this her “early-life crisis,” but if her music is any indicator, I think she has been someone who has perpetually been in crisis (and she brings anyone who will come along for the ride). Recently, she “postponed” (though some say canceled) her Vegas residency amidst rumors of a current volatile relationship with boyfriend, Rich Paul. Maybe some things never change, and people sort of gravitate toward dysfunction.

Maybe, I am jumping the gun, though. Unlike with Gwen Stefani (whose obsession and other red flags I pointed out fairly, might I add), I am not a super fan of Adele. I also don’t dislike her, either. I am pretty neutral on this one. I want to try to be as fair as possible. So, let’s walk through her music, and see what we can gather and learn. If we are smart, there are many eloquently worded lessons tucked away in every belted-out number album that came our way. Maybe, they are lessons on what not to be, but those are lessons, nonetheless. I am intrigued by what makes people so in love with her music.

The cover of Adele’s first album, 19. Our first wave of crisis.

One of her first singles was “Make You Feel My Love.” One thing is certain, no matter which song of hers you listen to, she will make you feel something. Maybe that is what hooks people in.

The Ross Geller ‘Hi’

By: Gabriela Yareliz

There are people who say ‘hi’ like Ross Geller.

As Joey states, they make you depressed when you interact with them. It’s like they are never ok. In fact, you are in a bad mood before you even speak to them because you know what is coming. You armor up.

I was reading about gratitude this morning in Uprising by Erwin McManus. He interestingly states that perpetual brokenness is often dependent on a lack of gratitude. We are all broken to one degree or another. We all have cracks, but note it says ‘perpetual brokenness.’

He states, “Whatever else we may need, whatever support systems might be helpful to us, whatever insights or truths may aid us in the journey, nothing will heal us if we are ungrateful. No truth, no matter how profound, will find its way into a heart that is absent of gratitude.”

Sometimes, life is hard. Oftentimes, it is. And yet we get nothing from trying to one-up each other with misery or spreading our own misfortune. I have heard people compete on how scared or cautious they are or how miserable they can make those around them. (These are often the dumb conversations that fill empty Zoom space). We should have our moments as humans in the flesh, but I like this emphasis on the fact that there is always a way to frame something that is happening in the frame of gratitude. Even in the mess, there are helpers; there are little gifts; there are things we are spared from.

I also found interesting that our lack of gratitude not only makes us and those around us miserable, but it also blocks our healing and truth from entering in. We imprison ourselves (and sometimes hold others hostage, if they get too close). We become sort of deaf and blind to the good that may be around us.

In short, don’t be Ross. Be Joey.

Favorite January 2022 Quotes

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Here are the handful of quotes that stayed on my mind throughout the month of January 2022:

Understanding

“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” Attributed to Marie Curie

Fear really distorts things for us. Understanding takes time, attention, intentionality, pause. The pause is well worth it. It prevents the spiral.

Power

“The real measure of our power is the freedom and opportunity we create for others. Men and women who are marked by integrity point the way to freedom.” Erwin McManus, Uprising

Power lies in servanthood. Freedom is a value that is born from courage and integrity.

Cruelty

“God never forces the will or the conscience; but Satan’s constant resort—to gain control of those whom he cannot otherwise seduce—is compulsion by cruelty. Through fear or force he endeavors to rule the conscience and to secure homage to himself. To accomplish this, he works through both religious and secular authorities, moving them to the enforcement of human laws in defiance of the law of God.”
Ellen G. White, The Great Controversy, p. 591

We must check everything against the law of God, which is a reflection of His character. What Scripture reveals to be His character is the standard of all. To know, we must invest our hearts in the reading of it and in the search for truth.

Language

“Without language one is lost, hopelessly lonely.” Bonhoeffer

Words have power. So does silence. It’s the difference between trust and distrust, company and loneliness, connection and disconnect.

Fight

“The nights you fight best are when all the weapons are pointed at you, when all the voices hurl their insults while the dream is being strangled. The nights you fight best are when reason gets kicked in the gut, when the chariots of gloom encircle you. The nights you fight best are when the laughter of fools fills the air, when the kiss of death is mistaken for love. The nights you fight best are when the game is fixed, when the crowd screams for your blood. The nights you fight best are on a night like this as you chase a thousand dark rats from your brain, as you rise up against the impossible, as you become a brother to the tender sister of joy and move on regardless.” Charles Bukowski

This one needs no explanation.

Happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate. Let’s do this, February!

xx

Courage

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Recently, I saw someone write that “courage is a blessing.”

A fact in human history is that there are people who have the audacity to do some pretty terrible things or to tell bold lies. We need more people who have the courage to do the right thing. Those who don’t discard integrity, but cling to it. Those who aren’t shut in by the circumstances, but those who step boldly outside of them and forward into a different future.

I had already been thinking about this when I started reading Uprising by Erwin McManus (2003), which had been on my Kindle for ages. He examines the principles of humility, courage and integrity and how they all intersect. I am sure this is not a coincidence. “The quest for honor begins with a humility that leaves us empty. This is not an emptiness that makes us hollow, but a humility that makes us teachable,” he writes.

He writes about the people who have had courage but use it to do bad things that hurt themselves, others and society. McManus explores the concept that, often, we use this idea of being “authentic” to act boldly on impulses. “Our prisons are filled with men and women who acted on feelings and impulses. If authenticity is about being true to yourself, these individuals should be our models of inspiration.” And yet we know that’s not true– authenticity and true courage are more complex than just acting. He stresses that, “Authenticity without integrity is lethal. To be authentic when our hearts are dark and corrosive is equivalent to opening a Pandora’s box.”

So, what does it mean to have integrity and be authentic? “Integrity is the context from which courage is formed. Integrity, like wholeness, is a by-product of our spiritual integration,” McManus writes.

What happens when we have integrity? “How we live becomes a genuine expression of what we care about. We are no longer guided by laws, but by values. While religion works to strain our actions from the outside, God always works from the inside out.” We aren’t motivated by the thoughts of others but rather by the desire to have God’s image shining through us.

Why should we walk in integrity? We are imitators of Christ. “That Jesus walked in integrity at all times, even when it cost Him His life, was the ultimate proof of who He was. When we are defined by integrity, we respond with moral courage. Courage is the ultimate expression of integrity. Integrity gives us the courage to walk in truth even when it means walking straight into the mouth of the dragon.”

I have been thinking a lot about integrity, humility and courage. McManus writes the truth when he states, “When we lack integrity, we live in fear.” Nobody has time for that. Forget the fear. It’s time to build our expression of courage. Life demands it.

God demands it:

“Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Joshua 1:7-9

Almanac Note: The Robin

From Unsplash

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Robins have always been my favorite bird. They were always perched by my window just around my birthday in Michigan, while growing up. So, imagine my joy when I saw a little section dedicated to the Robin in my little British Almanac.

I learned they are one of the few birds that keeps singing into the depths of winter. “Their large eyes mean they are well attuned to dusky light, and they are often among the first birds to start singing in the morning and the last to stop at night.” (The Almanac: A Seasonal Guide to 2022, Lia Leendertz). I didn’t know this but part of the reasoning behind their singing is to defend their territory.

People also say that the red breast was a “splash of the blood of Christ” as the bird sang to comfort Him while on the cross. I found this all very interesting. I think the Robin offers us some valuable spiritual lessons:

a. Sing: I was reminded of the Pathfinders, which is sort of like my church’s Boy/Girl Scouts club for teens. Part of the creed is you make a promise to keep a song in your heart. The Robin is the first to start singing and the last to stop. Music has the power to change our dispositions. Hell, I think it was Bono who said music has the power to change a life. Much of Scripture is written music and poetry. Music is a form of worship. In these trying times, one would do well to rise up and make sure one has a song on one’s heart.

b. Defend: A Robin sings to defend its territory. It is a very territorial bird. I saw a quote by Bobby Sausalito that said, “Defense, duty and self-preservation is inherently inconvenient.” We often take this posture in life that we are here to enjoy or have an easy ride, and if you don’t have that, you are doing something wrong or not “manifesting” it enough. But in the other words by Bobby Sausalito, “The world is garbage.” Yes, the world is a dumpster fire, and the truth is that we aren’t here for easy. We are here taking part in what Scripture reveals to be a spiritual battle. “Bravery is a decision. Courage is a decision. Greatness is a decision. Effort is a decision. Freedom is a decision. Inaction is surrender.” (Bobby Sausalito) So, rather than wishing for some fake alternate reality that will never come true, what if we armored up, kept that song in our hearts and defended what is ours? Our minds, our hearts, our families. Many will say it’s inconvenient, however, we were born for such a time as this.

c. Covered: Was there a Robin at the cross? Probably not. (I wasn’t there, though). That whole explanation for the red breast sounds like a great folktale to me. One thing I do know is that we are never alone. And what the Robin’s red breast does remind us of is that when we enter into a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, we are covered by his blood. We are covered by His love, righteousness and strong right hand.

He has saved us. He will defend us. He will strengthen us. He will place a song in our heart. No matter what happens, we too can sing into the depths of winter.

A String of Words

“And, when I crossed the wild, I chanced to see, at break of day, The solitary child.”

Lucy Gray, or Solitude

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I was reading through my Winter anthology, edited by Melissa Harrison. This morning, my eyes fell on a passage (quoted above). As I was reading, I knew the words felt so familiar.

The passage/excerpt didn’t end for a couple of pages and the author is always on the last page, so I hadn’t seen who penned it. I continued to read, and there was an incredible feeling attached to what I was reading. Nostalgia, perhaps. When I reached the page where the author’s name was, I saw it– William Wordsworth, 1799. I was obsessed with him and his writing in high school (along with John Keats). I would check out books with all of their works compiled, from the library. When I saw the name, I smiled.

I still find it amazing how you can recognize someone depending on how they string words together. A person can create a sort of signature; their very own gait across the page.

Whose writing have you spotted and felt that rush of nostalgia for?

Bonhoeffer on Scripture

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I loved Bonhoeffer’s thoughts on Scripture:

“One cannot simply read the Bible, like other books. One must be prepared really to enquire of it. Only thus will it reveal itself. Only if we expect from it the ultimate answer, shall we receive it.”

“Do not try to make the Bible relevant. Its relevance is axiomatic… Do not defend God’s Word, but testify to it… Trust to the Word.”

The Office

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It’s storming outside. I can hear the sleet. I can’t sleep.

In my insomnia (if it’s before midnight, does it still count as insomnia?)– all I can think about is our story.

We sometimes feel pressure all around us to be more, to be different, to fit into boxes we don’t fit into. But then, someone comes along and loves us in our simplicity. You can roll on the floor laughing; you’re best friends; everything just clicks.

This one goes out to my very own Jim Halpert. I love that I get to be your Pam. Thank you for being the one who understood the glances and “camera-like” stares; for all the flowers, treats and for the evenings in your car or our long walks where you just listened to me talk. I know I am understood, loved and seen. All I’ll say is that when I started watching The Office in 2020, I couldn’t help but feel like someone had been watching us and based Jim and Pam on us (except our story is even cooler). I can’t wait to marry you.

Choosing Our Reality

By: Gabriela Yareliz

In Cómo Hacer que te Pasen Cosas Buenas (How to Make Good Things Happen to You), the wise Marian Rojas Estapé points out that the body and mind don’t distinguish what is real from what is not real. What becomes real for us lies in our choice. In other words, if we panic or create terrible circumstances in our minds, our body reacts as if this is real, even if it isn’t.

I found this to be a profound reminder of how much power our mind really has. We see this everywhere– just look around. People these days have a tendency to panic about things that really don’t merit the cortisol. You could argue that bar will be different for everyone– and based on personality, some people like to panic more than others (or due to other external factors, some people should be more worried than others maybe due to circumstance or choice/consequence). But my general point is simply that if our default as humans is to cause stress on our minds and bodies with worries over things that aren’t real (or aren’t real yet, or aren’t as imagined), imagine what would happen if we could convince our minds of good (or the good that isn’t real yet).

Our stress and cortisol cause imbalances that help feed illness and inflammation. Imagine if we took a pause and made the decision to have healing thoughts, even in the midst of dark circumstances. When I was reading the Bonhoeffer book, I found interesting that Bonhoeffer wrote in his letters from prison about the birds singing around and other notable positive things around him. His attention to the right details and his dwelling on them strengthened him in his last days. It sounds simple, but it’s a profound act and choice.

As we enter this new season, what things do you want to feed your mind, and by extension, your body? What are the thoughts or reactions you want to trade out? What reality will you choose to focus on? The mind and body can’t make the distinction by default, so the choice is yours.

Bonhoeffer’s Journal

Even while being a minister playing games to escape the attention of the Nazi government while at the same time provoking them, Bonhoeffer kept a journal. This is how we know so much about his thoughts as he traveled, escaped trouble, landed in trouble, was imprisoned, met people and studied Scripture. This was a time where you would put your ear to the door and look both ways before having a conversation with someone. It was risky to be writing things down in his journal, but he did it anyway. I am so grateful he was fearless even in that. He was a bold journaler.