Studio Update 19

By: Gabriela Yareliz

My Fitbit thinks I am dead. I haven’t charged it since we started this shelter in place. I log in my daily exercise, into the app, but I haven’t charged it because let’s face it, I am not taking a lot of steps. It’s me going from my desk to refill my tea cup. Extra steps if I decide to froth the oat milk.

The city keeps telling us this may be getting better but to stay in because we may see the worst days this week. There is a strange dread that lingers in the back of the mind.

Today, I found myself singing a really good song that I later realized I made up, and yet I knew all the words to it. Quarantine is maddening.

My love recommended a great podcast, WeCrashed by Wondery, on the fall of WeWork. If you appreciate a close examination of bullsh*t and greed, I highly recommend. I love studying human behavior. It’s a seven-part series, and I am already on episode 4. Devouring it, like these mini breadstick snacks I got. My snack game is strong.

Last night, I watched a Mosaic church Q&A. One of my favorite responses was when Erwin McManus said, “Don’t pursue or follow Christianity— be a follower of Jesus.” I loved that so much. That’s how I have personally described my own spiritual journey. There is only one person to follow. Jesus.

Something that was very evident in the Q&A on Zoom is that we are all on a spiritual journey seeking answers. These times are tough, but God is always redirecting our attention toward Him.

Studio Update 18

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I woke up from another nightmare. This time, someone had cut my hair while I was asleep. When I woke up, my hand went straight to my freshly blow dried hair, pinned up with a Drybar alligator clip. When I felt the whole Rapunzel there, I let out a huge sigh of relief. These nightmares, though. It’s probably because I go to sleep after listening to Andrew Cuomo press conferences.

After making sure I wasn’t bald, I proceeded to the next matter of the day— the ginger sign. Yesterday, before I went out for my prison break walk, as I was tying my shoes, my eyes fell upon a scarf I had worn last week to the grocery store. I had used this scarf to dramatically cover my face and make a little head/face wrap. There was something dangling from this scarf, in my entryway. I was like, What is that? Guys, it was a ginger sign. Apparently, ginger was on sale at the store, and at some point, my dramatic scarf came in contact with the (sticky part of the) sign, and it stuck to the scarf. I took the ginger sign home.

I was mortified. Had anyone seen it attached to my scarf? (If they did, they must think I am nuts). Should I return it? Would they laugh? Was it even still on sale?

This morning, I suited up in my puffer jacket (my version of hazmat— it’s plastic enough), and my bandit scarf, and I went back to the scene of the crime. Kidding guys, there was no intent, therefore, no crime here. I gave them my business, as any good sale-ginger-sign remover does. Got my perishables. It was early, and the store was full. My waking up early was pointless. I wanted to avoid people. By the time I was there though, I knew I needed to grab my stuff, pay and go. I ran into my neighbor who is always yelling at his kids. He was blocking the lemons for the longest. He took half the stand. Yes, I can judge because his yelling has interrupted my peace on many occasions. And now, I find out he is a lemon hoarder… not cool, man.

I participated in two church services (I basically livestream church 24/7, on weekends), read three interviews out of Influence (by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen). It’s such a brilliant book. Half the people interviewed in there are now dead. I read an entire cookbook, and now, I am going to cook my meals for the next few days. NYC is still inviting me to enjoy virtual parks where the sun does not shine.

I am still laughing about the sale ginger sign. There are small absurdities we miss until we stop, tie our shoes and look up.

Studio Update 17

By: Gabriela Yareliz

This morning, I woke up, out of breath, from a nightmare.

I never dream. I slowly rolled over and saw that it was Saturday. That instilled some calm in me. It was a strange nightmare about breaking free from being stuck. So vivid. So scary. So real. I never really dream (and if I do, I don’t remember it). This one was too real. Very on theme. I was screaming in the dream, when I woke up in reality.

Image from The Cut

Before tuning into the church livestream, I was sucked into a rabbit hole of making Dalgona coffees. I saw articles, including this funny one from India, and then YouTube videos. I may try to do it with hot chocolate.

I was still exasperated from my bad dream, when I tuned into the La Semaine Live, where a French facialist was describing anti-aging face massages. She did it in such a feminine, French and sensual way. It was amusing and very informative. I discovered parts of my face I didn’t know existed. I could feel under my cheekbone, guys!

NYC sent me a text that it wants me to “enjoy” the NYC parks from home. Who are they kidding? Not sure what the heck that means. My love came, and we did our social distancing walk. I wore my bandit scarf. As always, he spoils me with a care package because he is the sweetest soul.

Before we went out, I stood there debating whether I wanted to wear prescription sunglasses or my glasses. I decided I wanted to see the world and flowers in all their brightness. Can’t waste an opportunity. Sometimes, we shouldn’t have another lens. We shouldn’t distort, even if the filter makes it look more golden. We should see the world as it really is. It’s actually quite beautiful.

Studio Update 16

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Hello, from the land of tent hospitals and seclusion. Here we are, dear friends. I worked, and then my employer scheduled a Zoom social, so I joined for a bit. It was nice. We mostly discussed our favorite karaoke songs, and we got introduced to each other’s plants, children and pets. I liked it. I will join again.

It was a productive week on lockdown. You have no choice but to be productive when it’s dead quiet. Today, I heard more than one neighbor yelling at their cell mates. People are on edge.

I took down the trash and checked the mail— I needed to prove to my mail person that I am not dead. I got a sweater I ordered from The Shop Forward, where every penny goes to a cause (right now it’s masks for COVID-19). It says “Choose Joy,” and it has all these bright pretty colors. That is my motto, now. It made me happy to get it in the mail and to think that the money is being used to help people.

It’s time for the weekend. What does that mean, these days? We don’t know. I am planning on resting. Maybe going for a supplemental grocery run (for fruits and veggies because you can’t stockpile those— they are perishable).

I get twenty texts a day about how I need to cover my face, if I step out. Thank you, City of New York. The next time I go out for groceries, I will look like Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek in Bandidas.

My phone just scared the living daylights out of me— one of those siren alerts flashed onto the screen asking all health workers to report because they are needed in my surrounding area. That thing was like an amber alert. Sigh. I wish I could help in a way that is needed like that. Instead, I am here, about to make some mac and cheese. I eat dinner now. So weird. I find myself a little hungry in the evenings.

Off I go. I can hear all the siren alerts going off in my neighbors’ apartments. Their echo blares in the empty halls.

Studio Update 15

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I woke up in such a funk. First, I barely slept. I was exhausted, but my mind was racing and racing. I turned on the rain scene from the Calm app, and somehow and at some point, I drifted off to sleep. Torrential rains washed away the anxieties of the day.

I was sad this morning. Maybe it was the PMS, maybe it was the loneliness— maybe both? I went straight to work, at my little desk. Still making good on my no-homeless-chic days. I brushed my hair and put on makeup.

Midday, a little girl neighbor was outside singing. She was screeching. Like singing-at-the-top-of-her-lungs-Sound-of-Music type singing. Someone yelled at her (they were probably telling her to shut up— probably the fire escape guy, up one floor), but she kept singing. I am glad. That guy plays loud annoying music. #payback

I loved her attitude. She didn’t care. She kept singing. Was she annoying? Yes. Was she cute? Also, yes. Was she joyful? Yes. (I wonder if she is part of the family building that bunker…)

Something that helped me today was thinking about what I will do after all of this is over (assuming we living souls in NYC survive this like some apocalypse movie). Anticipation brings some perspective.

At 2 pm, I decided to take a 15 min power nap. I set the timer and wandered over to the side of the bed by the window. I napped in a ray of sunshine and woke up with new perspective. My mind was racing until it wasn’t. Stillness.

Stillness, while it seems like nothing, can give us exactly what we need. I worked 9 hrs today, and now it’s time to seek more stillness. Still your mind. The world keeps spinning,

spinning,

and spinning,

but stillness will give you what you need.

Shhh.

Studio Update 14

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Today was one of those days where I was thinking about what it feels like to be outside. Sort of reminded me of this writing project I once did of describing colors to a blind man. If you’ve never tried it, I would encourage you to try— even if just for curiosity’s sake.

I was thinking about what soft sunshine on the face feels like and honeysuckle. We New Yorkers can’t really be outside and social distance well. If you have a yard, it’s a luxury. (Hence why I do my prison break once a week only). Have you ever had honeysuckle? In my childhood, I remember playing outside with a friend and finding honeysuckle. Oh my gosh, the little tree smelled delicious. It was intoxicating when you would stand next to it. My friend was bewildered that I didn’t know how to eat the flowers. I was bewildered that she ate flowers. I quickly learned I was wrong. You could pluck a flower and bite the little stemish part and taste the sweetness.

We would do that with the little purple flowers in the grass, too. We would sit there and fill up; pure delight. I miss being outside. I will be staying in, but I miss that feeling of drinking up flower nectar and sitting in the grass in the sunshine. You don’t have to give me much.

I woke up early and worked from home in my athleisure uniform. I was fasting today and praying, and so what would have been my lunch hour, I spent on my yoga mat. It was time well spent, and it helped focus my mind on simpler things.

Watching Jen Atkin cut her husband’s hair on Instagram Live brought me joy. They are hilarious. Jen is such a boss. Built a hair empire (The Ouai) from the bottom up and revolutionized the industry. I mean, if you want someone cutting your hair, it’s her. I was laughing though because it was such raw footage. She was teaching her viewers how to do it at home. Thank God no one is here with me or you better believe I would have had them in a dining room chair with a makeshift cape. Ha! #spared

I love how it was a collaborative effort, too, you know? People saying the sides were even and giving tips. So much of life is collaboration. We truly can’t do this life alone. And in this extremely individualistic society, we are realizing we don’t want to do it alone, either.

My little neighbor is practicing his flute. I will flutter away now like a fairy amongst the honeysuckle. Be well.

Studio Update 13

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I saw this image this morning, and this is how I felt walking out (more like running out) of the grocery store with my eggs, the other day.

I was so tired yesterday, guys, that I woke up tired.

Two days ago, I saw myself in a video moving my hands like a sign language interpreter, and it hit me, I can’t keep looking homeless chic (and yes, I can say that because I have been, in fact, homeless). I didn’t feel good, and I didn’t feel like myself, so this week, I have been wearing makeup. Yep. #normalcy

Speaking of FaceTime and videos— I now have an obsession with muting myself. I do it for fun now. I do it because I can. So cool. Not sure how this will play out in public, once we aren’t social distancing. And speaking of social distancing— right on time, the City of New York texted me and told me just now, “Stay at least 6 feet from others.” You heard it here for the hundredth time. Roger that.

It’s almost like Goop knew I was feeling homeless because it sent me an email today encouraging me to buy (get this) an $85 lipstick, so I can look cute on Zoom. (That was the headline). If you don’t believe me (it’s absurd, I know) I am inserting a photo here. Such things exist. They should not, but they do. Who does Gwyneth think I am?

If you have followed along here, you know I appreciate Goop. But this isn’t aspirational; this is stupid.

If that is the price of the lipstick, it better clothe me, act as hairdresser, be edible (this is a crisis, so we got to think of these things), and give me a Goop-worthy background on Zoom calls.

Speaking of Zoom, my cute Ma had me test out her Zoom “office hours” with her at noon. We did it!

My neighbor just started sawing things outside. (Yikes!) I think the fence is a distraction so people look and just say, “Ahh cute fence!”, and they really are making a secret bunker out there. The chainsaw sound was alarming, at first— but speaking of projects (one thing leads to another here)— instead of buying a ridiculously priced lipstick (or supplies for a bunker), invest in your community. Find a place where you can donate for masks (one here), sponsor a hairdresser or hourly worker in your community, buy this cool healthcare hero tote where every penny goes to making masks, support an org that delivers food to the elderly and sick— there is something we can all do.

Ok, I did my yoga, I did my Bible time, I worked hard like I was trying to buy that Goop lipstick, and now, I am off to eat something. (Probably an egg I risked my life for— never thought I would say that about an egg that didn’t come from my ovaries). Sending you peace and love from NYC.

Studio Update 12

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I didn’t read, today. I felt like that was missing from my day. I read for work and my morning readings, but I didn’t sit down I with a book. I did wipe books down with a Clorox wipe.

I did laundry (with many precautions— so I am exhausted), and I cooked my lunches for the next three days.

I am just grateful for health. We begin week three in isolation. I will be talking to my plants in full paragraphs and not just sentences by the end of this.

My two cents: pray hard, encourage others, set boundaries with toxic people and repetitive news cycles. Break all bad cycles. (This is good general life advice). Seek out peace. It requires intention.

Wish I had more to say. Sometimes, it’s not about what we say but about what we don’t say.

Studio Update 11

By: Gabriela Yareliz

First, I wanted to say I got the eggs. Yep. I was crazy enough to get the dang eggs, garlic, oat milk (ugh, I know, I am one of those people), and some cookie mix because Lord knows I am sick of seeing everyone baking on Instagram. (I never bake. It’s one of those things I am truly being influenced on).

This morning, I FaceTimed with my ma (it was lovely), while simultaneously building the courage to venture out. I kept imagining my jeans and puffer jacket as some sort of hazmat suit in my mind. It was raining, so I ran down the block to the corner store and straight to the back where the eggs are (right next to some shelves that happened to have Caprisuns— I am not making this up).

Gabrielle Bernstein (author and self-proclaimed spirit junkie) was going to lead a meditation for anxiety, today, and she sent me so many texts and emails today that this was the cause of any anxiety I experienced today. She needs to relax. (Kidding. Hugs, Gabby).

I flipped the page on my planner, and the next section is for spring and April, so I couldn’t just flip the page. It was time to sit and meditate and reflect on the past month and the future month. So, I had to sit my butt down and reflect and write my “praise report,” to express gratitude for all the things I lived in March. That was interesting!

I FaceTimed my brother and laughed. I FaceTimed a friend and laughed. FaceTimed my love and laughed.

Something that stood out to me today was that I feel we all have a collective feeling of helplessness. We wish we could do more. Our medical personnel and first responders are out there being heroes. They really are. I want to say, though, that this doesn’t diminish the role we each play in our spheres of influence and communities.

I have heard people say they wish they could help and be like these heroes, but I want to remind everyone— life is hard. Life is long. Each of us has a story. We have had to show up in the past and be the heroes of our own stories. At the risk of sounding like Mariah Carey (oh man), there is a hero inside of each person who is trying to be the best they can be in this life.

To the people who have helped elderly parents and friends, you are a hero. To the people who are or have been single parents, you are a hero. To the parents trying to instill values in their children that go against all society holds as normal, you are heroes. To the ministers who serve their communities, you are heroes. To the teachers who touch our lives, root for us and inspire us, you are heroes.

If there is anything we have learned from this, it should be that when we take an oath, so to speak, to love someone else— we become heroes. That’s what defines a hero. Not a profession, but sacrifice and care.

Think back on your story. I am sure you have been a hero, and tomorrow, show up as that hero for the people directly around you.

Studio Update 10

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Update from yesterday: so, the neighbor made a cute wooden fence during yesterday’s Zoom calls. He didn’t sign it to me through the window; I just got nosy and investigated with my invisible binoculars. (Sometimes, you have to do what you have to do to stay informed. You have totally done it, where you take a photo of something and then later zoom in. Don’t fake innocence).

Today, I did church at home. My boyfriend was also live-streaming, and we were texting each other. Made my day. It’s like the equivalent of the whisper or passing of a note— except coronavirus edition.

I spent hours reading my Bible. It was so peaceful. Nothing like reading verses and still getting chills after reading them for the hundredth time. God’s Word is truly a living document.

I did yoga with Adrienne. I am working on the crow pose (is that what it’s called?). You lift your entire body with just hands touching the ground. Magic. I told you guys— I will be levitating by the end of this quarantine.

I am down to two eggs. Soon, I will be in my neighbor’s yard doing an Easter egg hunt, but instead of the candy-filled plastic ones, I will be looking for real eggs and not even his new wooden fence he built will be able to keep me out. Ha! (Kidding. I will search for eggs at the grocery once I decide I am crazy enough to go all the way to the back).

I did a retinol face mask, today. (I am glowing, guys. Glowing like the sun we didn’t see today in NYC). They keep jacking up the heat and then turning it off. (No better time to be profusely sweating, suddenly).

Lastly, I was reminiscing with my boyfriend on FaceTime about food we ate while growing up. Do you guys remember Caprisuns, Tang, Vienna Sausages in a can? How did the FDA even allow blue colored juices on a shelf? (I guess it still does).

My conclusion: If we lived through that, we are invincible. The City of New York just texted me. I must now go distance myself.

xx