Character as Fate

“Character is destiny.” Heraclitus

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“You know it’s fate we are on this train together?” Some unhinged guy said to me. I gave him a look that had him saying I was “aggressive” later on.

It spiraled into something ridiculous until I was able to send him on his way— but it reminded me of my high school self. In life, we grow and evolve.

My younger self was Shakespearean. I could literally recite passages from plays. I still can… The beginning of this blog has remnants of this me. Latin through and through. Did I believe in fate? I did.

This is a really cultural thing. I really do think Latin culture has taken religion and turned a lot of it into superstition. I miss hearing things in Spanish sometimes, and when this feeling overcomes me occasionally, I will put on a podcast in Spanish, and it sometimes makes me feel so weird and out of place with my own culture. Superstitions are deeply entrenched even in the language we use. It’s fascinating to me. It strikes me more clearly now than it ever did before.

While I will agree that life has its synchronicities and divine turning points at times, I am a big believer in “Character is destiny.” Life isn’t so much happening to us as it is a domino effect from so many choices that set the circumstances in motion.

More often than not, our own choices. Even when others make choices that affect us, we choose how we respond. Our choices are rooted in character. Life isn’t some clip of Le battement d’ailes du papillon or Serendipity (even though I love these films!).

I think the world would be different if we took more ownership over life itself. All of life. There is not some destiny imposed on us, but we choose our own destiny, every minute at a time. Anything less than this makes us pawns, victims, trapped in a spiral of events that take us for a ride.

And while many reject the notion of fate, they live as pawns, victims and trapped in a spiral. Sometimes, we succumb out of exhaustion, the desire for a justification to what is easy or seemingly out of our control or the pursuit of a fleeting “magic” we are too lazy to create. We have agency. This is what Viktor Frankl and the film Life is Beautiful are trying to teach us. Even within the worst circumstances, we face choices. And that’s not to say our choices are the same (those are mysteries); it just means we all have choices.

Character is harder than what we feel “magically” appears in our path. Good character is harder than wanting to take everything in sight. Character requires humility, discipline, the ability to turn a boat to take another course or create life in a place that is bleak. Character is a longer and harder road. Cultivating character requires denial and sacrifice. But character shows agency and resilience, which means character is the path to freedom.

The Essential for the Pilgrimage

“Chronos is time at her worst. Chronos keeps track. Chronos is delusion of grandeur…. Kairos is intimacy with the real. Kairos is time at her best. Kairos lets go.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

Via Pinterest

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Time and growth. There has been an insistent pattern in my reading about both lately. The theme has been about “letting go.”

I had the craziest dream the other night about being stabbed in my left thigh. When you look up interpretations of this, a hurt leg often means you are not letting go of something impeding your journey. If you have ever walked with a limp, you understand this well. (Reminds me of when I broke my toe… I digress).

Recently, Tara Schuster wrote from the Tao Te Ching:

“Those who seek knowledge, collect something every day.

Those who seek the Way, let go of something every day.”

These thoughts reminded me of Jesus’ words about letting go of our burdens, handing them over and taking His yoke. Scripture tells us to let go of the past and see the new thing, anger, malice, bitterness— all that weighs us down.

The concept of letting go is pronounced. It seems to be key to our wellbeing.

Tara Schuster is currently on the Camino de Santiago. On a pilgrimage, you must go on your way, lighter than usual. If you bring thirty suitcases, you won’t make it. I suppose life is a pilgrimage of sorts. To make it to the end, even if it means with bleeding feet and exhaustion, we must let go of that which makes the journey impossible; that which weighs us down or causes us to veer off and make stops that may halt the journey all together.

I have been reflecting on this and journaling about it. What does this letting go look like for you?

Never Squander

“I pray just as fervently that we never squander or surrender another precious day for whatever reason, and that we never wait until something dire occurs to feel justified in setting boundaries.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

Staying Engaged

“Do not tire, never lose interest, never grow indifferent—lose your invaluable curiosity and you let yourself die.” Tove Jansson, Fair Play

What if we determined to do a new thing every day? I promise you, we would feel more alive.

Reminder

By: Gabriela Yareliz

My old executive coach wrote to me the other day to check in. It was sweet. When she texted, I was feeling annoying, exhausted and in some weird raging PMS state. Something about that woman inspires me to set boundaries. Her sweet text jolted me (positively). When she texted to say hi, I remembered how poor my boundaries with work have been in the past months. Brutal. I remembered our sessions and the tools she always repeated to me (I need repetition). I decided it was time to take the marker out and draw lines. (My rage should have been a sign that this is what I needed). Sometimes, we forget to live a little.

Speaking of annoying and realizations— the other day, I was listening to a podcaster twist herself in knots to act like she is right about everything. It made me wonder— why are we so determined to be perfect? I find it refreshing when someone doesn’t mind being wrong. I mean, we will be wrong sometimes. It’s part of being human.

Today’s PSA: Don’t forget to live a little. Let us not forget to be human.

Analog

Image via Pinterest

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I read a piece on Substack about having an “analog fall.” To live life like a 90s sitcom adult. Imagine that. I smiled and thought back at this past weekend where we took photos of some neat antique cars with disposable film cameras. I had been organically inching toward analog before I saw this piece. The idea of reading physical books and media, taking photos with a film camera, painting on a page with a brush and playing board games sounds refreshing. Our hands need to touch more than a screen.

Weather-wise— this is the last day of summer. It’s our (allegedly) last day of hot weather before things take a turn. We are ready to bust out our jackets. Decided to bust out some loafers. I have this mustard quilted jacket that I had in mind, and yesterday, I plucked it out of closet obscurity. It is ready.

The Pilates by Bryony challenge with Refy’s Jess Hunt kicked off yesterday, and it’s spicy! Hoping to continue my seasonal cleaning today. Also hoping to do something analog after I get off the mat.

What analog thing can you bring back and practice this autumn?

To the Unseen Words

Via Hannah Bay‘s Substack

By: Gabriela Yareliz

This one goes out to all the morning pages, journal pages and brain dumps where we process all of the words that jam into our brain channels. Where we let it all out and then, feel free. The great unclogging.

I ended last week with a ton of pent up energy and work tension. Four pages later, I felt like I let it go.

Do you have a bunch of emotion you need to let out? The foolproof release is writing it all out without judgment, and then, moving the body. Through process and all the unseen words, we let go.

Isn’t that what autumn is all about? Letting go? Allowing different colors to show through? Allowing what is heavy to fall?

Harvest Moon Anticipation

Image via Pinterest

“A guilty pleasure of mine is Waspy country club culture. It’s so camp. Adults wearing matching white outfits, playing sports, eating chicken salad and drinking vodka at noon? Incredible.” The Wishbone Kitchen Cookbook

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Last night, we went to the napkin ring part of the neighborhood. The large houses that spend an entire budget to decorate for Halloween and Christmas. There was less decor than expected, but there were two houses that went all out. I love walking through those streets. They sort of invite you to dream. The night felt darker than usual despite the fact that the moon is almost full. The neighborhood felt dormant and dark.

Image via Tuckernuck

The moon was peering through my window, and I kept thinking about my almanac. According to my almanac, the full Harvest Moon is on Oct. 7. It’s the supermoon. The moon will appear bigger in the sky, and will likely show itself orange. It appears bigger because it is closer to us. It’s so interesting to me that the way God made creation is that as the nights get darker, we are not left without light. He sends us a brighter and bigger moon instead. Diwali, this year, falls on Oct. 21 (new moon phase), so those of Hindu faith will put out their oil lamps on the darkest night of the month. No matter the darkness, as humans, we celebrate and seek the light.

Image via Carolyn Williams

Tuckernuck sent the cutest email on how to coordinate for family portraits— the guide is below:

Via Tuckernuck

I love this world of matching outfits, napkin rings and a wreath on the door. I love that some people live in a Martha Stewart world. It comforts me. With each passing season, I see the importance of building a home. Of capturing snippets in time.

Image via Pinterest

As the world gets darker like a fall night, we all need a house with the light on to come home to. And the moon is that guiding friend, that just like the lamps on Diwali burn, it tells us, “You are not alone, and I will guide you home. The darker it gets, I am leaning in closer.”

Image by Neil Young