GABRIELA YARELIZ

Relationship Building

[Image from GQ]

By: Gabriela Yareliz

A note taken from Chrissy Teigen and John Legend:

Can we admit that Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are an amazing pair and hilarious couple? Their chemistry; their banter; their sense of humor. More than a couple; they are a marriage.

They are very much a golden marriage, and yet I was thinking that we see them in all their glory (as we often see other couples). We see them from the only perspective we have– the outside.

Chrissy likes to share, and in past years, she has shared details about her relationship with John that I thought were interesting.

When we look at them now, we don’t see the moment when John tried to break up with Chrissy because he didn’t feel ready to be in a relationship.

We don’t see them when they suffered because of the distance between them.
We don’t see Chrissy when she wants to argue and John “de-escalates” her, as she said in an interview once. He apparently knows how to soothe her and disarm her.

We don’t see them discuss the fact that Chrissy doesn’t want John having other music “video hoes” featured (her words, not mine). She admitted this was a sore issue spot that they were still working through. They have implied they go to therapy.

[For Gotham Magazine]

I really like Chrissy Teigen. She is vocal, feisty, funny and strong. She has her own thing going on, and if you have heard and watched the “All of Me” music video, it’s clear her husband adores her. Because even when he is losing, he is winning (the best lyrics ever).

I think what most of us like about her is that she is real (she shows us photos of her stretch marks, for crying out loud), and in interviews she has given us a glimpse into hers and John’s relationship. It’s a relationship that we see shine, and still, she importantly reminds us how much work goes into a relationship.

Relationships are hard work.

[Image from Popsugar]

[Image from Refinery29]

When two people come together, it’s two worlds. It’s each person adopting what is important to the other. This takes words and actions. It’s both people taking time they would have dedicated to themselves or their pre-relationship routine and making it a time of building a new life or routine. It’s about mixing two worlds and having important people on both sides meet each other. It’s about mixing two worlds and retaining who you are, while also compromising at times.
It’s about bringing up sore issue spots and finding solutions. It’s about respect. It’s time and lots of communication. It’s commitment.

It’s all of that, and let’s not forget, some magic. Because where there is love, inevitably, there is magic. It’s the magic that shines through and makes all the hard work worth it.

[Image from Style Caster]

Come Walk With Me: El Yunque, Part II

By: Gabriela Yareliz

So, we were walking mid-rainforest, getting ready to walk to the last and biggest waterfall, when the downpour started. Typical rainforest rain, I suppose. It would not let up. The stone steps that lead to the waterfall were slippery. I ended up slipping on one, on the way back. I have a nice souvenir scar!

We enjoyed the rainforest in its natural element. We were soaked, and the forest was alive.

Come Walk With Me: El Yunque

(A view from the top of the tower, below)

Hiking in the rainforest is not something you do every day. The whole family came dressed for adventure, and oddly not for rain (except for Ignacio, who busted out an umbrella, from his pocket). These are some snaps, pre-downpour.

It’s an enchanting forest, filled with plenty of little green details. We didn’t really see birds, but there was an incredible variety of plants.

There is a nice video at the welcome center that explains the significance of El Yunque and the research done there. I really think the welcome desk guy told us to watch the video so he could get his 5 minutes of fame (the old man is in the video). He wouldn’t give us a map until we watched it. *rolling of the eyes*

Anyway, I digress…

The rainbow tree:

Me, posing and trying to make sure I don’t slip, fall and roll down the mountain.

A view from the tower:

The family, crossing the bridge:

Moist, green details.

Come Walk With Me: Vieques

By: Gabriela Yareliz

Early in the morning, we split up and stood in two separate lines. One line was for the island of Culebra, and the other line was for the island of Vieques. There was only one boat going to each island (ridiculous, I know), and so at that point, we had a better chance of getting into Vieques, despite having woken up at like 5 am. Both are famous for their fabulous beaches.

Ultimately, the line for Culebra was closed, and they disbanded the line after the amount of people that would fit in the boat, and we got our tickets to Vieques.

We got on a boat more unstable than a Disney World raft. We all thought the ride would be quick and painless. Some fell asleep and others ended up crouched over with our heads in our hands. I usually do not succumb to nausea easily, but when the man with the barf bags came around, I raised my hand. I felt queasy. I thought for sure I would be wearing food by the time we arrived. The trip was ETERNAL. It was a bunch of us tourists, dressed for the beach, and one man wearing a suit.

When we arrived, we found a place to eat breakfast (almost all of the places were closed). We waited for another eternity (the island moves slow). A Puerto Rican Olympian ate breakfast a couple of tables away from us.

Photo belongs to Gabriela Yareliz (Taken by AZ)

We then needed to discover a way to get to the beach on the other side of the island. We found a man in a white van; we hopped into his car without too many questions, and he took us to “Red Beach.” We went as far as giving the driver our tickets to see if he could change the return boat time to a later time, so that we could enjoy the beach and island a little longer (given that our breakfast took forever). He agreed, though one person in our group thought for sure he would take our tickets, and we would never see him again.

We enjoyed our swim. We even swam with fish! Our driver came back to pick us up (and yes, he brought our tickets back). We orchestrated elaborate change stations with towels, and changed in the parking lot (the driver doesn’t allow wet people in his van).

We explored the lighthouse before our boat came. Everything on the island was closed by 3 pm. Somehow, we found a bodega open, and one of the women made iced coffee as if it was some kind of science experiment.The boat came late. Riding back on that boat was torture. We were all laying on each other, hands over mouth, praying not to projectile vomit all over the place.

When my feet hit dry land, it was such a relief.

We had a lovely time in Vieques, but next time, we fly there. The boat experience is a once-in-a-lifetime type of thing.

Come Walk With Me: San German

By: Gabriela Yareliz

It was a quick stop, filled with old world charm.

Thread

By: Gabriela Yareliz

6:00 am: Woke up. Ate my two gummy vitamins. Watched some Stephen Colbert, after morning prayer.

7:00 am: On the train with three magazines stuffed in my bag for comfort. I don’t open the magazine I was reading the day before. I am not particularly interested in reading about the Egyptian president right now. The magazines are more like a security blanket. I listen to a podcast, Pardon My French, with Garance Dore and Elle MacPherson. It’s about health and wellness.

8:15 am: I am walking through the West Village. I start mentally trying to convince myself to get an overpriced cold pressed juice at Liquiteria. I decide against it. I stick to my water.

9:03 am: Back at the cancer center today for a test that is supposed to reveal the state of what cannot be seen or felt. The technician is stoic, and there are bright colors on the screen that leave me nervous. Red splotches. I remind myself I don’t know how to read what is on the screen. I sit shivering.

What does this mean? Why does uncertainty drive us crazy? Why is it that we forget that life is but a thread guarded by the Divine, at every moment?

9:09 am: Doctor tells me that all evaluations have finally been completed, and no biopsy will be needed because I am ok. I nod like a zombie and thank her. I grab my belongings, and go to the changing room.

9:12 am: I lock the door in the changing room and start sobbing from relief. The tears come pouring out. Very unexpected. After I compose myself, I share the news with family by text.

9:20 am: This nightmare is over.
I let my deodorant dry, I put on my sweater, and I decide that since I am alive and well, it’s time to start living that way. I need to take better care of myself. More balance. I decide on a gluten free French breakfast as a solo celebratory meal. Again, I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Thread. It’s a curious thing. It can be strong, and it can be weak. It can be knotted, and it can snap. It can unravel and be forgotten, and it can be used to pull together and be essential.

I want 2017 to be the year of wellness. I want to practice more gratitude. I want to learn to enjoy everything fought for and received through the present.

This is a recommitment to God, health principles, family, love, kindness and mindfulness– everything that has brought me here. After this experience, I know I need to do better; and I will. We never know. Thread can be an unpredictable thing.

Tuesday Badinage: January 10, 2017

“Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.” Fyodor Dostoevsky

A bit of inspiration for the day.

NYC is such a public place. We all sort of partake of each other’s joys and sorrows. I think I have talked about this before. When you step onto a train, you might celebrate with someone who is loudly proclaiming his or her joy, or you may witness a few tears. Eyes bouncing to and fro, unsure of whether to give privacy or sympathy.

Whatever character you find yourself being today, think about all the blessings you are grateful for, and the ones you might have forgotten. Gratitude changes everything. Let us find happiness at every step. Remember, God loves you with a love more profound than any love you extend toward anyone. His love will keep you.

Happy Tuesday!

This is Wow

Mandy Moore

One of my childhood icons, Mandy Moore, slayed at the Golden Globes. She looked stunning in that cape dress. She was nominated for her role in the show This is Us.

All Right

By: Gabriela Yareliz

“You’re all right, now,” my friend’s text message read after I told her about my morning. “Go home and have a good cry.” I couldn’t. I needed to go to work. Weirdly, I didn’t feel like crying to release all the tension that had built up in me. I also didn’t feel rejoicing was completely appropriate. What could have been happens to people every day. What I felt was a relief and gratitude. Heavy gratitude. Gratitude that weighed more than the tension I had carried up until now.

I started out the year at one of NYC’s top hospital cancer centers for an evaluation. I walked in like a zombie, passing sympathetic and worried faces, glassy room dividers and large vases. Twinkling lights remained from the holiday season, reminding me that tomorrow is Three Kings Day.

There is nothing like a little uncertainty to make one reflect deeper on life, one’s fears, and one’s desires. It reminds one to take nothing for granted; to love, and love well.

Uncertainty surrounds us. The new year is uncertain– each new day is uncertain. Someone once said that all we can do is trust an uncertain future to a certain God.

Each day brings its own turmoil and stress. Its own victory and/or defeat.

I was on the train this morning, and I was reading my magazine. Magazines have always been such a source of comfort for me, since childhood. Maybe that is why I enjoyed studying journalism so much. I read some words that touched me deeply:

“Look to the star, keep spirits high. Good times are coming by and by.
Do not let yourselves get down;
Faith’s more a verb than it’s a noun.”

Ian Frazier, New Yorker, Issue: Dec. 19 & 26, 2016, pg. 91

Maybe, I am not “all right” now that I know. Maybe, I was all right all along, and I will be all right, no matter what. Maybe, life is about learning just that.

Toodles for now.
The Forever Student

This is how 2016 began and ended

By: Gabriela Yareliz

I started off the year feeling like I was punched several times in the stomach and knocked to my knees to cough up blood. I didn’t say much at the time because my goal is to always uplift. So, because I write the blog mainly for myself (it’s my self reflection), I wrote some cryptic lines about tears and some Rumi quotes that comforted my soul. (See Reflections Before Bedtime #61).

It was a year of trial. I had a lot of pressure on me to perform well and keep my new job (as most new employees do). I was preparing for something important and the next step in my professional career. I was working full time and feeling drained. I had tight deadlines at the beginning of the year.

The first week of 2016, there was crazy stress at work. I had been sleeping on an air mattress for six months. My unlimited metro card locked me out of the train station for twenty minutes; I filled my cash metro card and the turnstile ate my fare. The temperature went into the teens. I got slightly sick. My phone uninstalled important apps I needed. Then, my phone became half functional. I tried to get a new phone but ended up wasting my time because what I was looking for was not there. I was a mess.

You are reading this all now, but I wrote all of that in January 2016. It was Feliz’s idea. She told me to write how I started out the year, so I could post this at the end of the year. Why? Because we were both convinced that 2016 was going to be amazing.

So, now that the year is coming to a close, this is what actually happened in the year that started like a TKO (total knock out). By the grace of God, I am still standing.

2016 Recap:

January: I ended up lost in probably the worst neighborhood in NYC, twice. Phone died. Met an old colleague who was visiting from Iowa, and we remembered our good old Washington, D.C. days. I was gifted an amazing book called Just Mercy. I got a new phone. *enter iPhone era*

February: I was consumed with professional development and cases. Trying to make those dreams happen.

March: Went to an awesome networking event hosted by my LatinoJustice familia. Worked on a fellowship proposal.

April: Case-heavy month. Finalizing our fellowship project proposal. Saw Journey and Santana in concert at Madison Square Garden. I was reminded to never stop believing. After this, I got some heartbreaking news. I had to find the inspiration and pray for the strength to get up again and keep pressing forward.

May: Crazy work schedule. Struggling with my career dreams, which seemed to be shattering. It was my birthday. Ate Ethiopian food for the first time. Realized, as I was looking at signatures on a birthday card, that I was looking for a particular signature. Someone special was in my life, officially. My childhood friend had her bridal shower. I traveled to surprise her. We had a blast. Throughout this month, my stress led to what seemed like a stress-induced eating disorder, where I couldn’t keep food down. I lost a ton of weight, and I was pretty much crying myself to sleep.

June: Work and pursuing career dreams is a tough thing to balance. A massive case I had prepped for finally went to trial. My childhood friend got married, and I traveled to be a part of that. It was pretty magical and nostalgic. It clicked with me that we are grownups. I learned to be Wedding Coordinator/ Maid of Honor. I started dating the special person in my life. My special person started forcing me to eat more and focus on wellness.

July: All my preparation culminated in July, where I delivered a performance that would change everything. My family came to visit. We had fun, and they met the special man in my life. Our 4th of July was filled with love, fireworks, cupcakes and rain.

August: My massive trial continued. Work and cases seemed to pick up the pace. I start healing my health, which had suffered from so much stress. I started eating again and retaining my food.

September: I interviewed for another position (pursuing professional growth), and I concluded our massive trial. I attended a wedding with my special person.

October: I found out and celebrated our massive trial win. I hosted a Prayer in the City location for my church’s week of prayer. I was told that all my hard work had paid off (July was a success). I was finally seeing the growth and accomplishment I wanted to see in my career.

November: It became official– I got the new position I had applied for. I began cooking new dishes and improving my skills. I decided I love cooking. Donald Trump won the election. A nation divided is revealed.

December: I realize that while this year has been brutal, I am so blessed. I have a job that gives me satisfaction; I am learning new things and growing; and I was asked by my law school to become a mentor for new law students.

This year, I learned so much about my flaws, strength I didn’t know I had in me and the fact that persistence sometimes wins the game. I learned that love is hard and complex, but that when you find a person unlike anyone else, it’s worth it.

To my family (mom, dad, bros, Ignacio, grandparents), friends and that special person who came into my life: I couldn’t have done this 2016 journey without you. Your strength held me up when my legs were shaking, and I couldn’t stand. Your prayers spoke for me, when I had no words to speak. You fed me, literally and spiritually. You were there when I felt surrounded by so much darkness and discouragement. Thank you.

I learned that with a growth mindset, a God who always goes above and beyond, and incredible people– we can do anything. We really can.

2016, you showed me what I was made of. The good, the weak, the strong and the bad. You brought the most amazing man into my life. You were filled with family and once-in-a-lifetime moments. And for that, you will be unforgettable.

2016 was a year of hard work and planting. It was filled with a heavy yoke, sweat, tears and blisters. A year of dark faith. I hope 2017 is a year of growth and more harvest.

Feliz, 2016 wasn’t all bad (even though it started like hell). It ended with a bang and taught us so much. Ready for 2017?

This week, the blog turned 7 years old. As I end this year surrounded by those that I love, I am also so grateful for the love and support all of my fellow bloggers and readers have offered me throughout these 7 years. It has been an amazing ride. Journalism school, law school and now, this newborn career. It’s amazing to see how far we have come. Take time to reflect on your journey, and I hope that if you take anything from my experience, it’s that God is faithful and never give up on what God has placed on your heart.

We will be marching into 2017, together. More experiences and more amazing things to come.

Wishing you abundant blessings, peace, love and joy in this Christmas season.

With love,