Kevin Lee and Lisa Vanderpump (Image via Pinterest).
A must-watch scene from RHOBH.
By: Gabriela Yareliz
This scene on RHOBH cracked me up, mostly because I am #TeamVanderpump on this one. (If you skipped it, take a look. It is hilarious). First, I love Lisa Vanderpump’s desire for a church wedding. Her daughter wants her wedding on their estate, but Lisa is thinking church. The wedding planner Kevin, the main inspiration for Franck on Father of the Bride, sides with the daughter and tries to get Lisa on the same page by saying, “Let’s build a church here.” Lisa responds with, “What on earth is he talking about?” I felt that.
Wedding planning is no joke. I really wanted this process to be stress-free and enjoyable. That has always been the goal. It’s a lucky thing when you have someone helping you who knows what they are doing. The world is really different, or as Vanderpump says, backward, these days. Things aren’t as they used to be. They are unnecessarily complicated.
Things haven’t been horrible or stressful, but they have felt more disjointed than I expected. I still don’t know if the engagement has sunk in because I still don’t have my resized ring or any photos or save-the-dates. I think men don’t understand how much excitement women gather from things like that. But we do; sue us.
I always wanted a church wedding when I was a kid. That was the only thing I knew I did want, and hilariously, due to COVID restrictions, city and church leadership’s stubborn stupidity and the need to stay local, the wedding I had “envisioned” is not possible in NYC in the traditional churches. Since the church can no longer be choice ‘a’, we go to choice ‘b’, extremely classic east coast americana.
Due to the pandemic and the local city churches playing politics, I pretty much lost all respect for the local pastor who sold his soul for city money. That meant having to find another somewhere in this insanity.
I have spent weeks reaching out to pastors I do have respect for (or could have respect for) to start the pre-marital counseling sessions, and I have been met with responses such as: “I don’t have capacity,” “We don’t do that at our church,” “I only do this for couples I am friends with,” and “Maybe if I look into your eyes, I might be moved to be of assistance.” I am not kidding. This net includes pastors from all denominations and non-denominational. The only people I haven’t approached are a Catholic or Orthodox priest or rabbi.
Apparently, counseling before marriage is not a thing anymore. Just this morning (at 4 am), I wrote an email to the former pastor at our home church in FL who is God-knows-where who once ranked me on a ministry strengths and weaknesses assessment as being very blunt, to see if he would be willing to do it over Zoom. Let’s see if he is willing to take this blunt woman up on her offer. (He wasn’t wrong).
Me at Pronovias being a dweeb.
This whole, “Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress” doesn’t exist. Now, you must know what looks good on you walking in (somehow), pay a $200 fee to try on a limit of three gowns, and that is that. It has been a bizarre experience to say the least.
It’s no mystery why places are going out of business and churches are dying. There is such a general lack of care and attention toward people, it boggles the mind. Thank God for the planner who is taking care of the food and other logistical aspects. The experience with her has been lovely, so far. Things are slowly coming together. I am finding humor, as you can see, in the midst of it all.
When Vanderpump jokes in the video saying “maybe I will execute Kevin,” I laughed. This general sass and attitude seems to be like a smoke that envelopes anyone planning a wedding. I thought I could escape the frustrations, but apparently, it’s a rite of passage.
July was a month of break. I slowed down a bit, which is rare. I do have to say I am ready to get back to busy. I do love having the mind challenged continually. While I was on break, I read a good batch of books. I am currently at 64/100 books for the year. I am saving my Light in August William Faulkner book for, well, August. Crazy how this month has flown by.
I continued my Federalist Papers course from Hillsdale College (it is excellent), and stayed away from the computer a bit more. I also continued my Rachael Attard GAL (glutes-abs-legs) fitness challenge (Monday commences week 7/8). It is amazingly satisfying when you see a change in your body. I am really proud of my progress!
The heat wave has been brutal. I was blessed to get my AC situation fixed. Thanking my lucky stars I don’t live in Europe. I also found an amazing massage place. So excited to go back. I had never had a foot massage. Did you know we have little knots in our feet? Who knew…?
Back-to-school season is upon us, and that makes my mind go to fall. Maybe it is the sticky heat, but I am yearning for fall. This was always an exciting time of the year. New notebooks and pencils…
I am excited this new season includes a new chapter for me!
“God didn’t just remove our sin, pain, and brokenness—He met us in it through the person of Jesus.” God is ____, YouVersion Plan– I truly find that to be the most remarkable thing about God. He meets us where we are with love.
“Quererse es la manera de mantenerse en pie cuando el suelo se tambalea (to love oneself is the way to stay standing when the floor wobbles).” Carmen Lomana– Over my break, I read all three of Carmen Lomana’s books. I know. It may sound exagerated, but I loved each one. I have learned so much from her. She has so many self-care and elegance tips. I was also majorly influenced by her love for Nivea. I also discovered that there is such a thing as anti-cellulite cream that actually works and doesn’t break the bank. The more we live, the more we learn! When you read her books, you feel like lipstick, a bath sponge and some Nivea. (Unfortunately, I think her books are only available in Spanish).
“And lend your voices only to the sounds of freedom. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall lead a life uncommon.” Jewel– I saw this quote in an email newsletter from the brilliant Beth Kempton. I am getting ready to do her Summer Writing Sanctuary for the third year in a row. My favorite part is, “No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from.” Wise words.
“The secret of it all, is to write in the gush, the throb, the flood, of the moment… to put things down without deliberation… without worry about their style… without waiting for a fit time or place. I always worked the way. I took the first scrap of paper, the first doorstep, the first desk, and wrote, wrote, wrote… By writing at the instant the very heartbeat of life is caught.” Walt Whitman– A reminder to write your heart out. And if writing is not your thing, find your mode of expression, and do it with courage.
“A different language is a different vision of life.” Federico Fellini– In my studying of 8+ languages over the years, I have found this to be so true. Language is life philosophy.
“A sense of humor is the main measure of sanity.” Hunter S. Thompson
“I want the truth. That’s really my biggest obsession in the world. It’s just the f****** truth.” Johnny Depp (Source)
“There are prayers in the Scriptures– in the books Moses wrote and especially in Psalms–where I cringe, half expecting lightning to strike the person dead. But it doesn’t. In fact, God seems to love that kind of raw, uncut prayer, skirting the line between blasphemy and desperate faith. He’s not nearly as scared of honesty as we are.” John Mark Comer
“Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it.” George B. Shaw
“If you gained nothing by dealing with someone, what can you lose by leaving them alone? Your peace is priceless.” Steve Harvey
“Freedom for Israel meant freedom for others.” Jeffrey Rosario
“We live between D-Day and V-Day. Between Jesus’ first coming to land the decisive blow and His second to end evil for good. And in the meantime, our job is to stand in that victory. To hold our ground. To cooperate with heaven’s invasion of earth.” John Mark Comer
“Persuasion—the purpose of argument—is replaced with public shaming. Moral complexity is replaced with moral certainty. Facts are replaced with feelings. The rule of law is replaced with mob rule. Ideas are replaced with identity. Forgiveness is replaced with punishment. Debate is replaced with disinvitation and de-platforming. Diversity is replaced with homogeneity of thought. Inclusion with exclusion. Excellence with equity. In this ideology, disagreement is recast as trauma. So speech is violence.” Bari Weiss
“When we humans commit idolatry– worshiping that which is not God as if it were– we thereby give to other creatures and beings in the cosmos a power, a presteige, an authority over us which we, under God, were supposed to have over them. When you worship an idol, whatever it is, you abdicate something of your own proper human authority over the world and give it instead to that thing, whatever it is.” N.T. Wright
The importance of small pleasures. I am someone who really believes in cherishing the small.
Famous immigrants discuss what they love about America.
The growing phenomenon of people regretting having children. I find many people of my generational bracket express that children have ruined their lives, which has been pretty apalling to hear. Children are seen as inconveniences that destroy marriages, lives, and careers. When did we start thinking like this?
Why this professor (and many others) are giving up tenure in American universities.
“Today, we face the hard truth that none of it was justified — and, in doing that, uncover a precious lesson.
It was a quick slide from righteousness to cruelty, and however much we might blame our leaders for the push, we’re accountable for stepping into the trap despite better judgment.
We knew that waning immunity put vast numbers of the fully vaccinated on par with the shrinking minority of unvaccinated, yet we marked them for special persecution. We said they hadn’t “done the right thing” by turning their bodies over to state care — even though we knew that principled opposition to such a thing is priceless in any circumstance. […]
And so it was by the willful ignorance of science, civics, and politics that we squeezed the unvaccinated to the degree that we did. […]
But betting against them has been a scathing embarrassment for many of us who’ve now learned that the mandates only had the power we gave them. It was not through quiet compliance that we avoided endless domination by pharmaceutical companies and medical checkpoints at every doorway. It was thanks to the people we tried to tear down.”
Susan Dunham
Kat-Von-D decided to throw out her witchcraft books stating: “But right now, it’s never been more clear to me that there is a spiritual battle taking place, and I want to surround myself and my family with love and light.”
People I am intrigued by:
Howard Marks: I was listening to a YouTube video and an ad came up. It was Howard Marks in conversation with Goldman Sachs. He was so engaging I listened to his entire talk for 40 min, and didn’t skip the ad. I wanted to share it here.
Carmen Lomana: I saw her in a photo and thought, What elegance! Then, I watched a bunch of her interviews and read all three of her books. She is a wise woman who has a lot of wisdom to impart. I am grateful I found her by chance.
I hope you are staying cool, eating ice cream and getting ready for the new chapter that awaits us soon. Autumn is on the horizon, but August is closer still.
You can listen to this post as a podcast, but more informal. Also, don’t miss the images, articles, and videos linked below for the full experience.
By: Gabriela Yareliz
“A man goes where he wants, when he wants,” Daniel Castellano says on The Mindy Project when standing in line for the 100th time at the DMV to try to pass his driving test. The United States is filled with open space. In 97% of this country, I would say you need to have a car to get by.
Image by Vulture; Danny Castellano being the best New Yorker. 🙂
While a car is a necessity, it is a right of passage. What do you do in the middle of your teenage angst? You study to pass your permit exam. I got my permit at 15 because I was signed up to take Driver’s Ed, the only class where I cried (in my life). I felt the pressure. Sweet Georgia peaches, the amount of cones I drove over.
Danny Castellano feeling the pressure in the driving exam; Image via Recap Guide.
The driver’s license holds a specific place in the American experience. I am ignorant of any other country where driving is such a big deal. Hell, we write songs about it. I think the idea of driving has influenced American music a lot. Anyone else blasted Journey, The Eagles or Chicago in the car? Nothing beats it. Nothing is the same. Windows down. Drive through a rural place with country music on. You will never feel it more. If you have lived here, you have stared out the window like you are in a music video. Don’t even tell me you haven’t.
Paris and Nicole learning to drive; Image via Pinterest.
Just recently, Olivia Rodrigo brought us a Driver’s License ballad. Here is this teenage girl, driving past her old boyfriend’s house. It’s that emotional car moment we can all relate to. I am convinced driving is the cheapest form of therapy.
Sunday drives are a thing that belong to American history and also American Wealth (see 1903 and then the 1950s). After dad worked all week and mom ran that household to perfection, what would the American family do? They would pile into the car on Sundays and just drive. There was no particular destination in mind. Maybe it was just to drive through the neighborhood or get ice cream. (More on Sunday drives here and here). When life got busy, we knew how to pause and be with the ones we loved most. (Some people started doing drives again in the pandemic, but you can imagine that not many people are taking Sunday drives nowadays due to gas prices).
Image from the Samantha American Girl books that take place in 1904. See the automobile in the back.
Cars would take you to drive-in theaters, drive thru restaurants, and to other states. As someone who grew up in a car world, we took a bunch of road trips. Piling into the car meant going to camp with a church group or visiting family in another city. When we lived in Michigan, we would visit my grandfather and great grandmother on weekends in a city just north of us. I spent many a Saturday night in the back of a car. I saw so much of this country through the back of a car. Open highways, sometimes covered in snow, the streetlights lining and lighting the way, mountain side houses in North Carolina, the ocean from tall bridges in Charleston, orange groves and retention ponds in Central Florida.
Image via Pinterest.
Cars are accessible. I have walked through many housing projects due to the nature of my job. You can find some nice cars parked around the projects. Even what is considered the poorest person on the ladder can have a car. There are American icons who slept in a car– see Steve Harvey.
Image via Thethings.com; Steve Harvey who once lived in his car now owns a gorgeous collection of cars.
Cars shape our society, and more importantly, cars shape American youth. Whether your parents get you your own car, or you work to buy your own or you simply borrow your parents’ car, cars afford(ed) us independence. An independence I am not sure many other young people know abroad. Sure they can take a metro or train somewhere, but can they drive across the country, music blasting, with one too many friends stuffed into the back shoving fries in their faces…? I am not sure. Even still today, when one looks at Instagram accounts from around the world, it is obvious cars do not hold the revered status they hold here.
Cars shape the stories we tell. See Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, documenting his drug riddled road trip to Las Vegas with his attorney.
Image via industrialscripts.com. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.
Before I learned to drive (and even at times after I had my license), I was a co-pilot. I had a giant atlas on my lap. If you need a map read, I am your girl. I am good at maps. I did have my fair share of MapQuest maps printed, as well. GPS came much later in my life. Maybe late high school, and then college. I still don’t understand how I am supposed to know which turn is “200 ft” from me.
I went to a high school where they had a parking lot for student vehicles. The spots closer to the school were for the top Seniors of their class. I am not even kidding. This sounds foreign to some people. Also sounds foreign to some who grew up in large cities like New York.
Cars are sort of a protagonist in the American teen’s journey to finding oneself. I think we can all look back at an experience in our late teens or twenties where we had a life-changing or emotional moment in a car. I am not even being dramatic. I know I did. What do you think all these movies are about? You were either going somewhere, running from someone, or some even lost their virginity in the back of a car.
Image from Getting There with the Olsen twins.
Image via Gossip Gist
Image from Crossroads film with Britney Spears via Refinery29.
Hilary Duff in A Cinderella Story; Image via Fanpop.
The iconic car in A Walk to Remember; Image via Hollywood.com.
Troy Bolton’s car in High School Musical; Image via Pinterest.
The car in That 70s Show; Image via Pinterest.
Image via Pinterest; That 70s Show.
Image via Giphy; New Girl car scene.
White Chicks; Image via Tumblr.
Take it from someone who had a car and now doesn’t, the loss of independence sucks. You are crammed in trains with dangerous characters, you have to literally drag your groceries from the supermarket back home or you depend on others or an Uber to go to certain places or move things of a certain size. It is draining. I look forward to having a car again, someday.
This independence and ability to explore are part of American Wealth. And can I also say one thing? The ability to have a teen angst moment is such a first world thing. When you are in survival mode, there is no time or energy to go through mini frivolous crises. The opportunity to be edgy and obnoxious is a very privileged thing. I grew up in a bracket of years that celebrated angst. SeeThe OC on TV.
The OC via Fanpop.
We loved Alloy and dELiA*s clothing. It was all funk, shiny boots, mohair sweaters and low rise jeans with a suede tie up instead of a zipper. Claire’s was way edgier. I mean it always had pink glitter frames, but we had the chokers, “cute by psycho” tops and terry wrist bands.
I adored the edgy style. I was not preppy and honestly couldn’t afford to be dressed in Abercrombie & Fitch. I loved Ashlee Simpson’s style when she came onto the scene. And yes, I wore the black nail polish. I haven’t since.
Image via Photobucket
Image via Pinterest
I have noticed that some teen icons today copy the style many of us had or wanted to emulate in the late 90s/ early 2000s.
I mean, look at Olivia Rodrigo’s style. This is my childhood stuff (it really all does come back). Look at the shoes, the hairstyles, everything– I smiled when I saw this.
Image via Pinterest.
Image via Tumblr.
Image via Bing.
Even the music is starting to sound like what was on the radio in junior high. GAYLE’s music video abcdefu is like a blast from the past. This is 100% inspired by the early 2000s. And yes, there is a car in the music video (of course, which is such a symbol and reminder of the place the vehicle has in our lives). She is a Texas girl, and hey, this level of teenage angst shot with a camcorder vibe is a reflection of American Wealth. I leave you with her early 2000s vibe jam. It looks like something we would have acted out in 2001, except we would never have been allowed to say such things. Kids, these days.
It’s 2004. For Christmas, I get the new Paris Hilton fragrance with a black quilted handbag that has a little compact in it, and it has the name “Paris Hilton” embroidered into it in bright pink. The greatly coveted and cherished gift set.
Image via Fragrance Net
If you were a teen in the early 2000s, you know the level of celebrity Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie had. Both icons in their own right, more widely known for The Simple Life.
Wiffle Gif
So, I wasn’t allowed to watch this show (and I know why lol), but I would find little clips on the baby internet, back in the day. (Remember when you got internet through that cable that had to be in the wall?) What I gravitated toward the most was their style. Both quickly became known for their smart humor while playing dumb, large sunglasses (which I found, and still to this day, find glamorous), velour tracksuits, and phrases (“Loves it” and “That’s hot!” being among the most popular).
Ok! Magazine
Years have gone by. Both are elegant business women, but I love that when I look at them, I still catch glimpses of their eclectic flair. You still see * them *. Nicole Richie is married and has cute kids and a thriving business.
Nicole Richie; Image via Andylecompte
Paris Hilton has followed no one’s timeline, and got married in 2021 at the age of 40. She sings, she sells, she DJs, and she keeps coining phrases #sliving (slaying+living). She has also been an advocate for bipartisan issues dealing with children, abuse and education.
Nicole Richie and Paris Hilton at Hilton’s wedding; Image via People Magazine
Paris Hilton came back into focus for me through a special collab from Dolls Kill x Powerpuff Girls. Here is the story: I had seen this cute Powerpuff Girl sweater that filled me with so much nostalgia. I decided I was going to get it, but then I thought, Nah, I am too old. Then, days later as I was searching it again (I clearly kept thinking about this sweater), I saw Paris Hilton wearing the same sweater (the one I talked myself out of), and I was like, Of course. Ha! Great minds think alike. (Except she went for it without hesitation).
I was a HUGE Powerpuff Girl fan as a kid. I mean here are three strong cuties who don’t go to bed until they have saved the world. (Life motto, anyone?) Their message is service, and we are stronger together. My favorite was and is always Buttercup.
Puff Fandom
Spoiler alert: I got the sweater (it will join my “Loves it” sweater, which I wore throughout the height of the pandemic).
Image via Giphy; Name a more iconic gif… I will wait.
The post isn’t about the sweater(s). It’s about not forgetting the little pieces that make us who we are (it can be tempting to fit into a box). Remembering the things that make us smile and remind us of childhood. I think seeing Paris in it not caring what anyone thinks reminded me of how important it is to still have fun, even as we get older. * Especially * as we get older. It’s the attitude. Even seeing Paris Hilton was nostalgic. I told my dad about the sweater, and he said to me, “One is NEVER too old.” I’ll try to remember that.
No matter what stage in life we are in, let’s keep sliving. Loves it.
–More grounding: Bare feet on the ground. I got a wooden shower mat for this as well. I want my feet on solid ground (lol just thought of the hymn).
trainhardteam.com
–Move every hour: There are days where I am sitting so much. Doing leg deadlifts has shown me that my hamstrings get so tight. I need to move more often throughout the office days.
Tenor
–More airplane mode: I want to be more unavailable more often. Being “on” all the time is exhausting. I am pretty good on weekends. I still want to get better at it. Sometimes, I feel so much pressure to answer a text within minutes. It irritates me to no end.
Pinterest
–Shut off the wifi: I lived here for about 5 years without wifi. I loved it. The minute I got wifi, I don’t sleep as well and I feel a difference I can’t explain. I hate it. I want to remember to turn stuff off at night.
Giphy
–More dance parties: I want and need more Lisa Rinna moments. (Happy birthday to the iconic Rinna).
Here is a good summer jam to start:
What are you going to do to feel more human this summer?
1950s Tupperware Party. (Image via Fine Art America)
You can listen to the post here. Sort of like a podcast, but informal. All sources are linked in the post below.
By: Gabriela Yareliz
The United States is known for its entrepreneurial spirit. This idea of taking risks to build or expand something, even if the outcome is uncertain. Name a country that has more group or multi-level marketing businesses than the U.S. of A. By this, I mean companies like Mary Kay, Avon (both sell cosmetics), those companies that sell knives door-to-door or the ones that do the Tupperware parties.
This was much bigger in the 70s, 80s and 90s, but I still see traces of it on car bumper stickers and social media. It was the catalog company and the friendly neighbor or church member who was the rep/distributor/consultant you would order from.
I remember my mom hosted a Mary Kay party when I was little. I will never forget how funny my great aunt looked with one of the face masks on. Some church friends had a troubled nephew come live with them, and they got him in this business selling knives, and he did really well. He sort of got his life back on track, had a purpose and started making money. Some of these companies turn into weird pyramid scheme type dynamics, see Amway (short for The American Way), but the strange dynamics aside, let’s face it– these jobs aren’t easy. Take it from someone who has gone door-to-door with the church to collect canned goods for the needy on Thanksgiving– knocking on a stranger’s door takes guts. Serious guts.
Back in the day, I did an info session for one of these businesses that sell kitchen supplies. After the first day, I decided it was not for me, and I couldn’t juggle graduating early from college and this very people-centered sales approach. I left with a lot of respect for the people who were going to go for it, though.
These companies have interesting histories. Fun fact about Mary Kay: Cars were (and still are) the incentive. “In 1968, Mary Kay Ash purchased the first pink Cadillac from a Dallas dealership, where it was repainted on site to match the “Mountain Laurel Blush” in a compact Ash carried. The Cadillac served as a mobile advertisement for the business. The following year, Ash rewarded the company’s top five salespeople with similarly painted 1970 Coupe de Ville cars. GM has painted over 100,000 custom cars for Mary Kay.” (Source) Mary Kay still gives different types of vehicles for different levels of sales, I believe. I found this interesting.
The Mary Kay Cadillac. (Image via Mary Kay Global)
Regarding Avon, “Avon’s founder, David H. McConnell, initially sold books as a door-to-door salesman to New York homes. In September 1886, he decided to sell perfumes rather than books. He started the new business in a small office at 126 Chambers Street, Manhattan, New York.” (Source)
Madame C.J. Walker (Image via famousafricanamericans.org)
As a kid, I loved reading about Madame C.J. Walker and how she became the first female self-made millionaire. She was orphaned by the age of seven, but nothing stopped her. (Source) I remember an American Girl book I had about Samantha had a whole section about her.
While the multi-level marketing business has shifted to probably essential oils and fitness and weight loss powders, the American sales spirit is alive and well. It is just different. #capitalismbaby
I truly think that this spirit is a part of our history. The beloved series Little House on the Prairie is one of many books that illustrate the American tenacity, resilience and sense of adventure people around the globe recognize and revere. When I think about our country’s sense of adventure, I think beyond the arrival here, but of the expansion to the West. I truly believe this is the appeal of the very popular show Yellowstone. This TV show, with its land battles and cowboys, reminds us of rugged adventure and life on our own terms (plus the tensions and losses that come with it).
Image via Messy Nessy Chic
The idea of the cowboy (as we think of it today) comes from right here in North America (modeled after the European settler ways). It was a type of animal herder (typically herding cattle on horseback). (Source) Ironically, “‘Cowboy’ was [also] used during the American Revolution to describe American fighters who opposed the movement for independence.” Id. Very interesting!
The idea of the cowboy has been romanticized, but the life was tough. It also came with a lot of complexity. An interesting piece on the black cowboy explains: “Growing up, many Americans are taught to see Manifest Destiny as this thrilling spectrum of possibility – a blueprint for bravery, with the occasional dash of Donner Party crazy. ‘The whole idea of taming the West,’ says Ron Tarver, ‘well, basically, you’re just uprooting indigenous people.’ The history of the Mexican-American cowboy, for example, is very complex, and interwoven with that of the black cowboy. It opens a layered conversation about integration, adaptation, and survival. This, too, has been superseded by cowboy whitewashing. Colonialism, but make it Marlboro.” (Source) We all know the smoking packets have that cowboy as an advertisement. You can read more about the black cowboys at that link.
The idea here is not to “whitewash.” (I am not white). The truth is America has cowboys of all shades and backgrounds. No matter what the shade, we are all American. The idea is to look back at all the people who took the chances they took, and they did it because of bravery. If you have a hunger for winning, this country feeds it. This is part of the American legacy. The truth is, a great deal of American history takes place in the wilderness. There is clash, conflict and integration. There are wild creatures you have to beat before they eat you. Deep in the woods and fields of uncertainty, we dare. Boldness, community and resourcefulness, it’s part of American Wealth.
If you speak Spanish, you have probably held an Hola! in your hands. It is filled with fun features, royal news, and now, influencer tracking. Spain has an incredible network of influencers. Some countries have one influencer that sort of stands out and represents them. The Netherlands has Negin Mirsalehi (of Gisou fame), the U.K. has Lydia Millen, Italy has The Blonde Salad’s Chiara Ferragni and France has Jeanne Damas (Rouje).
Spain has the network of Maria Pombo, Maria F Rubies, Dulceida, Madame (Angela Rozas Saiz), Teresa Andres Gonzalvo, and Marta Lozano (to name a few). This network of influencers attends fashion weeks, parties, launches and events together. And now, weddings.
Image via modalia.es
Best friends Teresa Andres Gonzalvo and Marta Lozano both got married this summer (about a month apart), and interestingly Hola! decided to broadcast the religious ceremony (both were very Catholic ceremonies) on their streaming service, allowing all of Spain and the global followers to attend the influencer-replete nuptials.
Image via Pitnerest
I found it interesting that Hola! took such a special interest in the weddings of marketers. They are not royals or famous other than for their social media presence, which has allowed them to build their personal businesses. (Gonzalvo has her Enea Clinic (spa) and Lozano her Glow Filter skincare line).
Madame arriving to the cathedral for Teresa Andres Gonzalvo’s wedding on 7/8/22. Image via MSN.
Fans lined the walkways and interacted with their favorite influencers flying in from all over Spain for the event. The moment the bride arrived and stepped out of her vehicle, the onlookers brought down the house, yelling “¡Guapa!”. The ceremonies were both extremely traditional, and very religious. Both brides wore long sleeves in unair-conditioned stone cathedrals that have stood there for centuries. Guests fanned themselves as they melted. Both brides cried while the priest commenced the service, and both had guests take communion along with them at the mass. In both ceremonies, I recall the priest praying a blessing over both couples and asking God to bless them with many children so they can strengthen the church.
Image via GTres. Teresa Gonzalvo entering, walked in by her twin brother.
Such a religious ceremony with so much fanfare around it is rare in the U.S., I feel. It was refreshing to see traditional services and values celebrated even by some of Spain’s biggest party animals. I know I wasn’t alone. I posted about the ceremonies (I tuned in for both), and I know many others watched. It was like a viewing party with fun strangers. It was heart-warming to see the moving moments. Often, on social media, it feels like people do life together. There is this vague feeling of knowing someone. Hola! certainly brought that feeling home.
Image via hoymagazine.es Teresa and Marta celebrating their bachlorette parties before their respective weddings.
I am curious to know what Hola!‘s motivation is. Is it the views? Is it that they know these young women have connected with the nation? Why just the ceremony and not the reception? Is Hola! reminding Spain of its heritage and values? Is this a push against globalization and a tightening grip on tradition? I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know the answers. All I know is that the nation’s international marketing faces were there, we the community were there, and well– looks like the squad is all here. I am here for it.
Image via Hola!
Vivan los novios.
Marta Lozano entering the church. Image via Elcorreo.com.
I am currently reading Harvard Economist Peter Navarro’s book In Trump Time: My Journal of America’s Plague Year. The book documents his notes and journal entries throughout his time in the past administration, specifically regarding his time on the task force when COVID-19 came onto the scene. It details discussions with Fauci in the situation room, votes taken, arguments had, decision making and how certain decisions were arrived to. It’s interesting to read hindsight something that feels so close.
As I mentioned not long ago, I finished Courage is Calling by Ryan Holiday, which left me with a quote I’ve been churning around in my mind. It was one I included in my June 2022 favorites: “That is what de Gaulle realized about Hitler. That his force was entirely dependent on the ‘cowardice of others.’”
This quote has stuck with me like glue because it is so relevant to how things are moving in the world today. It also highlights how courage (and cowardice) can change the course of the world and people’s lives. In the past two years, I have been pretty vocal on the topic of cowardice and how it pertains to the church, government and society at large (see Leadership and A Society of Cowards for more). When you listen to how people express themselves, a well-maintained fear seems to be seeping out of people’s pores.
Robert Slovak: “There is a plan for the control of humanity and that plan is moving forward at full force like it never has before. We are moving toward a dystopian society in which we are going to lose all control, everything will be censored.”
Michael Bosstick: “My biggest fear during the pandemic was actually not the disease or the sickness. My biggest fear was how complacent people got so quickly. How eager they were to give up their basic rights. People would say, Well it’s a scary time and people are dying, and I’m like, Yes, of course that has happened through history. This is not the first pandemic that’s happened with our species. What was starting to see [sic] was how many people in positions of power were so eager to exhibit that power over other people, and we all can see this now looking two years back, and how many other people were so eager to let them exhibit that power over them. The strategy is smart too cuz it’s done in the name of righteousness, right? It’s done in the name that maybe [if] you question or you’re against any of these things, that you’re a bad person that doesn’t care for other humans.”
It’s undeniable that this form of manipulation has been rampant.
Where there is no evidence that change is needed or beneficial, one only changes or molds one’s behavior to please others when one puts weight on the thoughts of others above one’s own. When one’s actions are due to the fear of being labeled in a certain way or being ostracized. Our desire to be seen a certain way, even if it goes against our conscience– our desire to be perfectly obedient to a system that doesn’t care about us and lies to us continuously, our apathy that allows us to follow along and makes us prevent the hard work of asking questions and investigating– all of this is a form of cowardice. It is a cowardice that humanity very easily falls into and justifies. It’s not easy to go against the grain, but courage never is. (And we aren’t discussing recklessness. That isn’t courage. Courage is calculated and has an element of wisdom and truth to distinguish it).
So, what does this have to do with the Ryan Holiday quote about de Gaulle’s discovery regarding the ingredient for Hitler’s success? (“That is what de Gaulle realized about Hitler. That his force was entirely dependent on the ‘cowardice of others.’”) Well, I started to think about how true this was in history and how true it is today, and then it got me thinking about the antithesis.
Scientist Robert Slovak may be right, and he may be wrong. Whatever it may be, if we continue on the track we are on, it’s clear this is not going to end well. If we read Scripture and truly look at what prophecy tells us about the world’s trajectory, we know it is going to be a wild ride.
I was meditating on how for Hitler and the Nazis to flourish, they needed people who were cowards, who wouldn’t question or stand up to anything. (Those who did, died. I mean look at Bonhoeffer and the ten Booms. Rebellion is costly). In fact, de Gaulle’s own France buckled under the pressure. It preferred invasion and compliance with Nazis if it meant it had some sort of “security and normalcy.” It took a man they tried to assassinate multiple times and called crazy (de Gaulle) to set it straight and bring it back to dignity. Hitler and the Nazis sought power over people, and they had it.
Jesus’ and the Church’s success requires quite the opposite of what Hitler required and it seeks quite the opposite too. (And by the Church I don’t mean a corrupt entity but the followers of Jesus). It seeks not power over others but service to others. It required and still does, courage. An impossible amount of courage. Jesus walked a precarious road to the cross. He risked everything to gain us. Jesus tells His followers they will be reviled, persecuted (Matthew 5:11), and that they are here to be a light to the world (Matthew 5:14-16). A compass. A people who mark North every single time. For the Church to succeed in being a place that is set apart and on fire for God, its individuals must be courageous.
It means not seeking to blame or apathetically follow along, but it means taking responsibility and choosing right. It means choosing what is right and following conscience no matter what the cost. In fact, many of the non-Jews who were killed in the Holocaust was due to the fact that they followed these principles. They did not shield themselves with the current-day Church permissions or flow of things. They sought not convenience. They stood out. They stood out like a thorn in the shoe of everyone who wanted to keep walking backwards. Their behavior matched their conscience. They had courage in word, idea and deed. In defiance, they hid people, they cared for people, they died for people.
A courage like this is supernatural. The thing that makes it available is that God promises to equip the willing and honest heart (Hebrews 13:20-21). The supernatural is gifted to us, it doesn’t come from us.
There are whispers of recession, another pandemic, more government control, collapsing governments (just this morning the UK’s Boris Johnson resigned from being head of his party). Things in this world escalate and crumble quickly.
And yet, God continually is telling us, “Do not be afraid,” and that He is with us “always, even unto the end.”
In this very moment, I don’t have a fear of what may come. I don’t think this comes from some moral or spiritual superiority at all. Nope. I think it comes from evidence. God calls us to build our relationship with Him based on faith and evidence. Let’s take the principle of tithing, for example. Giving 10% of what you have to God because all we have belongs to Him. It is an act done in acknowledgement of His status as provider of ALL THINGS. King of the universe. Tithing is something I take very seriously. Someone might think this 10% is insignificant, but that is just the thing. The small things become big.
I love the verse where God invites us to tithe. He doesn’t invite us to tithe only when things are going great and we can give out of our abundance. No. He calls us to tithe, always. It has to do with the relationship we have with Him and who we believe Him to be, not our circumstances.
He tells His people: “Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house.” He continues saying, “Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.” (Malachi 3:10)
God wants to bless us, and He engages with us in a curious way. He says, TEST ME. He is like, I dare you. Recognize me and see what I will do on your behalf. God has been and forever will be faithful.
While the world and its governments and corporations and groups require suicidal allegiance– they require your cowardice– God requires your courage and faith. Have enough faith to test Him. Take Him at His word. Be a compass that allows His pull to bring the needle to true North every time.
Failed movements will require your cowardice, but God requires the best of you. Get testy.
You can hear me talk about this, though I also recommend you take a look at the linked videos below whose audio cannot be included on Soundcloud due to copyright. xx
“Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.”
Benjamin Franklin
By: Gabriela Yareliz
It’s Independence Day. A day that reminds us that a ragtag bunch with a burning passion and insatiable desire for liberty can prevail.
We have grown in this country to value duty, courage and sacrifice. This moving WW2 veteran has gone viral. His emotion and words touched me. It is this same sentiment that has driven me to write about this country.
Is our country flawless? No, by no means. But as someone who has criticized this country’s flaws, I recognize that criticism should be accompanied by the love you feel for country. It’s like a parent when they communicate to correct a child. You criticize to improve things, to show a lesson, not to destroy the very values that have given you the opportunity to criticize it. Our country is steeped in a deep dissatisfaction that leads me to believe we really don’t understand what we have and what it has cost. It has cost the lives of others. Entire lives and families’ lives have been shaped by the sacrifice that has preserved this country’s greatness.
There are people and entire political parties that have this sense of entitlement, these days. We want what we want, when we want it. We want to eliminate the Supreme Court (like petulant children). People want to preserve abortion for rape cases (they argue), and these same people have pushed the legislation that makes it so that the rapist walks out free that same day and can do it again and again. This is not caring for true victims (if it were, we would have different policies), but simply a desire to protect self-interest. Once that self-interest is touched negatively, people flee. Politicians who once pushed to defund police have moved out of their cities (that they destroyed) because they have become unlivable and pure anarchy. This is where we are now. This is not where we have always been. Before parents were taking their children to drag shows and tucking dollar bills in thongs, we had an order and value system in this country. I remember it. I miss it.
This country was built on the dignity of human life. Some in recent time have trashed the Constitution, not realizing that this document gives them the ability and freedom to live unlike others around the world. Every time I read it, I get chills. It was written by slave owners, they say. While the human beings were flawed and didn’t execute on these principles in the way that they should have, the principles were correct. These were the same principles those who fought for civil rights hung onto–
“We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”
Declaration of Independence (July 4, 1776)
Nationalism has been argued to be the great sin of our day. Nathan Finochio has some interesting thoughts on this:
“Nationalism has been blamed for Empire, but as Chesterton once noted, no man committed adultery because he loved his wife too much. Nationalism is not about exclusivity, but rather priority. And if a man cannot love his country well, he will never love another country properly. And this is the root of all the failure of modern international politics: men do not rule and love their own house well, therefore, they treat other countries as mere mistresses. And that is exactly what Empire is.”
Nathan Finochio
How do we return to loving our “wife,” our dear country and all that has been fought for? There is a story (short film) in the film Paris, Je t’aime. It is about this man who is having an affair and decides to let his wife know finally, that he is leaving her and does not love her. (All morality thrown out the window). They arrive to the eatery where he has invited her to, and she breaks some news to him first. She is sick– terminally ill.
When he hears this, he decides to not leave her. Instead, he takes care of her and ends his affair. He starts studying her again and paying attention to the little quirks she had that annoyed him. He begins to fall in love with her all over again. She wears this loud red jacket, and when she passes, he sees this jacket everywhere. The red jacket, a symbol of love and his beloved.
It is a fact that we “fall out of love” with that which we have made judgments about so that we stop looking closely at it. We are annoyed, and we create a distance with its perceived flaws. What if we took the time to take a closer look again?
What if we took the time to read the Declaration of Independence one more time. Let’s study the men who wrote it, recognizing that they aren’t deities but have the same flesh and blood as you and me. Let’s read the Constitution and reflect on every sentence and what the implications are of that sentence to each life within its reach.
What if we spent more time speaking to veterans like the ones in the video above, and we ask them why they fought for us and what else they fought for? What if we studied the lives of American heroes like Abraham Lincoln (a man who stood against half of his country to free a part of it and unite it), George Washington (a man humble enough to let democracy thrive; he would not be king), Frederick Douglas (a man who rebelled righteously and fought the man who would whip him. A man who knew education and knowledge set you free), General Douglas MacArthur (a brilliant strategist whose audacity and love for freedom made others shake in their boots), and Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. (a man who believed in character above all else and in fighting for dignity).
If we took a closer look at these people and what they stood for, despite all their flaws– we would see people who deeply cared. People who had the courage to believe in not only a better tomorrow but a different tomorrow. They ventured out to do what no man had done before.
Just like the husband in the short film saw his wife’s red jacket as a symbol, maybe we could relearn to see the stripes on our flag as a symbol of love, sacrifice, honor, duty, responsibility and freedom.
Bari Weiss published a beautiful piece where immigrants discussed what they love about America. She started the piece by writing the very same things I discussed in the first post of this series:
“There’s lots of talk of privilege these days, and we are privileged here. I don’t mean white or cishet or able-bodied. I mean privileged by being in this country.
Even with all the intrusions on our freedom that we regularly document here—intrusions from government, from tech, from the hall monitors of elite culture—we still know that we are the freest citizens of any country on Earth.
We are all familiar with the complaints and critiques of America. We lodge many of them ourselves. But there’s always still that fundamental truth: Every single person in this country is lucky. Not by a little—lucky by a lot.”
These are some of the things her sources mentioned:
“I read the Constitution for the first time when I finally made it from North Korea to South Korea. I was studying English, and collecting letters of recommendation in the hopes that I would win a visa and be able to travel across the ocean to America. Even with my broken English, I teared up reading the sentences. I didn’t know then what the word dignity meant, but that was what I felt for the first time in my life.
My mother and I didn’t risk our lives trekking across the Gobi Desert so we could buy a nice car or live in a nice home. We did it to get an I.D. from a government that recognized us as human beings—not as slaves. To us, to become American was like winning a thousand lotteries.” Yeonmi Park (Source)
“So forget the whiners and the shouters, the hysterics and the cynics and those who count the seconds to midnight. Now and forever, it’s morning in America. Thank God.” Liel Leibovitz (Source)
“Over the years, I’ve met people from small conservative towns in Eastern India to liberal neighborhoods on the outskirts of Vienna to religious communities in rural Mississippi who have almost nothing in common except the audacity of their dreams, their willingness to sacrifice for them, and America’s role in fulfilling them. In one generation, whether you are an immigrant from Asia or a sharecropper’s grandson, America is a place where you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.” Roland Fryer (Source)
I encourage you to read more here. Immigrants have a lot to say about our country because they know what life is like without the principles, laws and ideals we hold dear (or at least used to hold dear).
I pray we can keep fighting for the dignity of every human life and liberty.
“France was a land, England was a people, but America, having about it still that quality of the idea, was harder to utter— it was the graves at Shiloh and the tired, drawn, nervous faces of its great men, and the country boys dying in the Argonne for a phrase that was empty before their bodies withered. It was a willingness of heart.”
F. Scott Fitzgerald
America– a willingness of heart.
We often just sing or read the first stanza of America the Beautiful, but if we read it in its fullness, it remains a timely gem.
I hope each of us gets closer, and begins to re-examine our history, the beautiful and the ugly. May we above all look at the character of men and the ideals they dreamed of. May we work for a better and different tomorrow, one that reflects the classic and timeless ideals the country was founded on. May we execute these principles with honor and integrity. May we raise a better generation.
The American Creed:
“I do not choose to be a common man. It is my right to be uncommon. I seek opportunity to develop whatever talents God gave me- not security. I do not wish to be a kept citizen, humbled and dulled by having the state look after me. I want to take the calculated risk; to dream and to build, to fail and to succeed. I refuse to barter incentive for a dole. I prefer the challenges of life to the guaranteed existence; the thrill of fulfillment to the stale calm of utopia. I will not trade freedom for beneficence nor my dignity for a handout. I will never cower before any earthly master nor bend to any threat. It is my heritage to stand erect, proud and unafraid; to think and act myself, enjoy the benefit of my creations and to face the world boldly and say -This, with God’s help, I have done.”
The American Creed
America! America! God shed his grace on thee And crown thy good with brotherhood From sea to shining sea! Oh America
You can hear me out instead of reading the post. It’s like a podcast but less formal. You will hear my dying AC and my occasional sigh, sass and chuckle.
By: Gabriela Yareliz
As I write this, I am laughing because my air conditioner is failing. (Great timing, AC, great timing). Just as I was going to speak about the aspects of what makes an American summer.
Here are some things I have learned from other people and life experience– one is that there are many countries where children are still in school during the summer. I am not kidding. There are some Asian countries that have school in different installments, by quarter (sort of). School is a year-round thing with some breaks in between the seasonal sessions. Not everyone gets the American summer. School start/end dates differ by region in the U.S. In the North, school often begins in late August and early September and then ends in mid-late June. In the South, school starts in early August and ends in late May or first week of June.
Children in the U.S. get the summers off. Summers are often filled with various activities (unless you are stuck doing summer school– but summer school means you failed something). There are some libraries that do summer reading challenges. Many schools have required reading over the summer for the next school year. Parents get their kids summer review books so they don’t forget all the math they learned the previous school year. Also, camp is a big part of American summer culture. *cue roadtrip*
(Image via Fanpop)
Camps are a great American staple. They help parents out who keep working year-round, and it helps kids get to know other kids and make memories. Churches like mine often have summer camps (I know Jewish brothers have their own camp system), and there are other general (non-religious) camps kids can attend. I have attended art day camps, I was a counselor at a community science summer camp where we did experiments with smaller kiddos, and then there is the general sleep away camp, without the religious element. Most people know what this looks like as it has been featured in movies like Parent Trap. It’s that camp with the tents or cabins, a bunch of pre-pubescent girls that love making bracelets, painting their nails with glitter, braiding their hair, jumping off docks into lakes and ponds, canoeing stints and pranks (not as wild as Parent Trap, but definitely pranks).
PRANKS (Image via MTV)
Camp teaches discipline. There is a morning inspection of the beds and clean-up. At the Bible camp I attended, we lined up with our unit and did morning exercises together. (If you were disciplined, you were asked to do push ups, which you concluded by saying “Thank you for strengthening my mind and body, sir.”) My favorite time was mail call, where we received letters from back home (I always missed my mom).
When you miss home… (Image via MTV)
For the kiddos who stay home, there are the day camps, but also, many churches do a free Vacation Bible School (VBS). Each year, the Bible School had a theme, and the kiddos would do crafts, do outdoor activities and sing new songs that they would then perform at the end of the camp. I remember one year, the theme had to do with ocean animals, and we got these little plastic fish in a small net bag, and there was a little blowfish figurine I was obsessed with). While Vacation Bible School had outdoor activities and elements, we spent a lot of time indoors learning Bible stories and singing and crafting in cool rooms. I remember I helped out at my cousin’s church’s VBS. Between kitchen duty (snack time and lunches), I would sit in the nice cool yellow kitchen or in the large fellowship room reading my summer reading book,TheOdyssey. Something that makes an American summer distinct is the constant air conditioning. This is unique.
I have spent time in Europe in the summer, and well, the environment was very much subject to the breeze entering through the windows. An Italian YouTuber I like mentions how warm the summers can get in Tuscany. It’s a fact that not many countries have the constant modern comfort that is air conditioning. (Hell, even some New York Schools don’t have central AC). It is a thing.
People say that the heat of a Florida summer is unimaginable, but the truth is, because one is often in a car or inside, you only feel the heat when you are going from one place to another (unless you are gardening or have a broken central AC system). New York is more European (or just simply old) in that central AC doesn’t exist outside of luxury new buildings with exorbitant rents. These days, with the state of the economy, many businesses are shutting off their AC (Bed Bath and Beyond just announced that they are shutting off their ACs in summer suicide). This is a weird thing here. And I promise you, if it is a hot summer day, customers won’t stay long. The truth is, we aren’t used to the heat. We just aren’t. We are used to cool air that dries the skin and eyes but makes it so that we can take steamy hot showers year-round and feel cozy and good. We cook and don’t break a sweat in the summer. (Except here in New York City. Sigh.)
Something else that I think makes the U.S. pretty unique is the amount of families that have a pool. Doesn’t matter if it is underground or above-ground– this is a unique thing. In Europe, some stately homes have pools, and they are often below ground from what I have seen, older structures filled with dark teal water.
European Pool at Thyme Cotswolds England
European Pool in A Good Year, Chateau la Canorgue
Having a pool is not something reserved for old money, resorts or the rich. Average middle class families have private pools. I grew up swimming in our neighbor’s pool in Michigan. We had many an afternoon playing Marco Polo and throwing balls at each other. Our wet jeans on the fence or line getting stiff and drying in the summer sun.
Along with the American pool comes the grill. I don’t think anyone else has quite the BBQ culture we have (and I know other countries do BBQ, but I feel they often imitate the southern BBQ flavors and culture). Along with that, the South is known for its iced teas and fresh fruit cobblers and pies. Open a Southern Living magazine, and you will see what I mean, set at a table with red, white and blue.
(Image via Pottery Barn)
Summertime is a patriotic time. With Fourth of July around the corner, it is worth mentioning that summer is a time to be outside with family celebrating. We celebrate freedom, and we celebrate sacrifice.
(Image via Trip Advisor)
An American Summer has a lot to offer anyone whether it is free library books, a pool (YMCA, neighbors and country clubs and other places have general pools you can enjoy if you don’t have one at home), churches/places of worship and schools often have activities and there is a whole array of camps to choose from.
Just like the ubiquitous AC, there are so many things I feel are distinctly ours that are starting to change or fade. Libraries with fewer hours and fewer quality books of value, camps stop running due to COVID or sadly, crazy scandals… This leads me to wonder, if we lose the things that distinguish our way of life, does that mean that we stop being who we are?
When I think of summer, I think of camp. I come back to camp. Summer at camp changes us. (I know it changed me). We learn so much about ourselves and the world. Camp teaches us that it’s not always about what happens during most of the year, like school, but it is about what happens in the “in between.”
Summers in the U.S. are simmering with American Wealth. After a summer of the outdoor adventures, fireworks and delicious food, we return to an air conditioned school a little tanner, taller and with a colorful friendship bracelet around our ankle that still hasn’t broken off (and if we are lucky, with a couple friendships that will never break).
GABRIELA YARELIZ 