“Christmas is for freedom. Freedom from the fear of death. Jesus took our nature in Bethlehem, to die our death in Jerusalem, that we might be fearless in our city. Yes, fearless. Because if the biggest threat to my joy is gone, then why should I fret over the little ones?”
John Piper
Wishing you a peaceful Christmas, filled with the greatest gift of all, God’s love. May you feel it; may you store it in your hearts; may you share it.
A messiah was promised, and a messiah came. Today, we remember God’s faithfulness.
It began with a kiss from the most amazing man, after I had stuffed my face with grapes, per Spanish tradition.
I was surrounded by my loved ones, and Antena3 TV Española was blasting in the background. Squeaky, the cat, had gone missing, and the night was humid and dark.
On the second day of the year, I traveled home to NYC, almost projectile vomiting in our Lyft driver’s car (I could almost hear him silently praying). And on the third day, I started the day off by going to the doctor and getting a referral to a breast clinic for a potential biopsy, thanks to some swollen lymph nodes.
I wrote a post on how 2016 began and ended. It was a year of a lot of changes and “dark faith.” I wrote at the end of 2016 that I wanted 2017 to be a year of growth and harvest. It was definitely a year of growth. I learned so much about myself. And, I continue to.
I could go through the list of everything that made this year insane, but there would also be a list on everything that made this year unique and special.
So, what do I want from 2018? I believe in speaking things out into the world, in faith. Feliz (my best friend) said 2018 would be her breakout year (makes it sound like she is a pop star!). And I know it will be.
I want 2018 to be a year of strength and health.
Here are some things I have started to cultivate, as 2017 is ending, that I want to take with me into the new year:
1. JOY & GRATITUDE
I started doing a gratitude journal. It has changed my mornings. Yesterday, in my rush to work out, I forgot to do it, and I really felt the difference. My morning was moodier than it had been in the past days. I have realized that reflecting on gratitude, every morning, and deciding how I want to make the day awesome, has changed my tune. I am still working through it and growing.
I have been dealing with a lot of changes (what is life but change?), and some of it has been very emotional, but the Five Minute Journal has grounded me and really brought me joy. I totally recommend it. I added it to my prayer and devotion time in the morning, recently. Call it a form of meditation.
2. STRENGTH
I am working out, and hard. At first, I was going at it a little too hard, but I have been making necessary adjustments based on what my body is telling me. I decided to focus on strength, mostly doing weights and barre type exercise. I have felt such a big difference, even in the way I have been sleeping.
I was inspired by Nikki and Brie Bella. I saw Nikki on Dancing With the Stars, and I saw how she made an amazing recovery after almost breaking her neck. I realized I had no excuse. I wanted to feel that good and have strength like that in my own body. So, my journey began. It has been so fun!
3. WELLNESS
I am so grateful for the awesome health inspiration I have found this year in @drmonavand, @Brittnisoo, @rainbowplantlife, @Kushascorner and @Melissawoodhealth. They share so much valuable information, not just about fitness but about how to start your morning in a detox way (eating fruit), probiotics (which my mom got me hooked on– such a game changer), and awesome recipes.
Through research, MindBodyGreen, Goop, The Chalkboard Mag, and The Skinny Confidential etc., I made my own anti-inflammatory plan of supplements and diet changes. My skin looks different, and I experience way less pain. I want to keep learning.
4. CLEAN BEAUTY
I ditched my foundation, guys. I am also using cleansers that are not chemical based and harsh but ones with organic ingredients. I decided to let my diet and lifestyle determine how my skin looks rather than how much makeup I was wearing. Sometimes, that means that when I eat something that triggers a breakout, there are less ways to hide it. But I am trying to learn from this and listen to my body.
I switched to RMS, Tata Harper and softer products. As I continue to use up some products, I will keep finding better, more natural alternatives.
I realized this year how we live so fast-paced, and we don’t pay attention to our bodies until it’s often too late, and it’s about to give out. We should pay attention. It’s our life, after all.
5. ADJUSTING PERSPECTIVE
Sometimes, it’s hard to step out of our own experience and find a middle ground for some things, when we have a partner that is very different from us. And I mean things like: consumerism (maximalist vs. minimalist), adventure (rough it vs. high maintenance), politics, ideas on traveling, ideas on how people should live, parenting, etc.
Each family and partnership creates their world and their rules on how they will live. I am looking forward to figuring this out more, as time passes, and growing more. (I am only half of the equation).
In a relationship, we get polished, and we grow. We get to become a better version of ourselves– and inevitably, we change.
I think that sometimes we need to sit back and remember the child we were. We need to remember everything we have been through, and the fact that it shapes us deeply, and we carry baggage with us. And then, we need to let it go, and be open to experiencing things we may have never imagined and to find ourselves in great, unexpected places. We have to be open to live. And when both sides do this, that’s when magic happens. That’s what we call, family.
6. SUBMITTING MORE WRITING TO MAGAZINES AND PUBLISHERS, GROWING MODERN WITNESSES
Modern Witnesses has been an incredible passion project for me, and I hope it keeps growing, and that the community will keep sharing.
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2018 is less about resolutions and more about growing in the things I have started to explore and develop. I want to be a better woman, a better partner, a better professional, a better writer, and a more vulnerable and joyful individual.
What are your hopes for the new year?
What is your word/theme for 2018?
I am sure the journey will bring its challenges and beautiful moments. We will find ourselves in the valley and find ourselves at the top. We just need to keep growing, if not, we are dying.
I want to end by saying, I am grateful to a God who listens. A God who intervenes. A God who heals. A God who is waiting to take us to that next level of living, if we let Him. A God who is faithful.
I am grateful for family. Blood is thicker than water, always. We have gone through so much together. And we will continue to walk, even if it is through temporal darkness, together.
I am grateful for my friends, though many of the closest ones are far, we stay united in prayer, and we continue to grow together, support each other and have vision.
I am grateful to have such a great partner (great is such an understatement, he is beyond incredible). He has weathered storms with me and made me laugh so much. He is always down for adventure and exploring new places or topics of conversation, and I appreciate that. He has been patient and supportive, and while we are incredibly different, he finds my over-communicative and Type A ways endearing (or so he leads me to believe). Truly, the most amazing man.
I think that when you have been through so much in life, and you swear to yourself that you will never depend on someone– it’s hard to be vulnerable, later, even when you want to be. And vulnerable not just in word, but in deed. It takes a lot to be like, okay, I am going to allow this person to take the lead or to make this decision, and I will go along with it. Or, I am going to trust this person. Something so simple can trigger fears in the least trampled among us. We have all been trampled, to some degree.
It’s like learning to dance, and realizing that in this dance, you can’t do it alone. And while this sounds so basic and expounding on this is an entirely different post, I am so grateful that relational wounds are healed by good, genuine relationships and the people who are patient enough to love us, despite the scars.
2017, you have been a journey of growth, and I can’t wait to continue this journey with all I have gained from this past year.
On a day like today, eight years ago, I sat at the science library at the University of Florida, probably in corduroy flare pants and my glasses on, and I decided to start Expect Miracles.
I wanted to write. I needed to write. My heart was full again, after years of dry ink. An important relationship in my life had unraveled, and a new chapter was beginning. I could feel it in my bones.
My first post, Autumn, hinted at my readiness for a rebirth. (I have left my previous posts intact, complete with typos and formatting issues. I would rather display growth than perfection). I had no idea I would end up here. Life takes us on these amazing rides when we live by faith.
Today is the blog’s birthday. Thank you for the years of support; for reading my thoughts and for watching me grow.
I am forever grateful for how faithfully you read and for your feedback and love.
Here is to more growth! More change! More love! And more words! Around here, we like to live life deeply, thoughtfully and filled with miracles. Thank you for walking with me.
Toxic. Nope. I am not talking about the Britney Spears song. I feel like this has been a big theme for the latter half of 2017.
Are people going insane? I feel like many amazing people who surround me are dealing with toxic people in their lives; whether it be a boss, coworker, family member or peer.
How do we deal? Ugh. Here’s the thing— toxic people can really affect us. They can mentally and emotionally bring us down. And the truth is, many of these people are not people we can escape. At the end of the day, if you are human, you will have a toxic person around you.
I am not going to even get into describing what a toxic person looks like because I am sure you know.
So— I don’t have solutions. I don’t pretend to have the magic wand.
Let’s talk this out, though. How do we deal with toxicity, so we don’t don’t find ourselves “slippin’ under,” as Spears would call it?
1. Boundaries. You can love someone, but it doesn’t mean you have to invite the devil incarnate into your home or into your personal life. You can draw physical lines but also emotional/attachment lines.
2. Managing expectations. Sometimes, things affect us more when we expect and long for something different. I think that when we see people exactly where they are and call their behavior out for what it is (which is often irrational), we can manage a situation better because we are dealing with reality.
3. Climbing higher. Managing our expectations allows us to climb higher, above the mess. It allows us to see things for what they are and move past it. I think this often requires some distance, and we need to learn that this is ok. You can certainly decide what you want in your life. If toxicity isn’t something you want, you can leave it in its place, and move on. It’s a change in attitude and perspective.
4. Controlling what you can control— YOURSELF. You can’t control others, but you can control your reaction. You decide how much power you hand over to someone.
5. Reflection. I think it’s so important to be reflective and be aware of what is triggering stress or certain emotions in your life.
6. Focusing on gratitude. Along with reflection, I think it’s so important to focus on what you are grateful for, tangible things you can do to make the day better and how you want to be better tomorrow.
7. Care for yourself. Rest. Eat well. I think sometimes we care more about and for others than we do ourselves. That is not ok. After all, Jesus said love your neighbor as yourself. If you don’t love yourself and respect yourself, you can’t impart.
8. Community. Find a like-minded person to pray with and gain perspective. It can make a huge difference. It’s not about complaining and leaking bad energy, but about finding strength in another, when sometimes you have none left or you feel defeated. Even Jesus didn’t carry his cross alone.
Sigh. This was probably a bit depressing, but I think it’s a very real issue that so many people are grappling with, in so many ways.
I hope that this shines some light your way, regardless of what you are going through. Shine bright. Don’t let anyone take your sparkle.
“Every news consumer should be on guard against flimsy arguments or tendentious cuts. We can and should question journalists’ motives. But, if we demand that journalists have no motives at all, we’ll be forced to outsource the job to algorithms and drones, which are— so far, at least— even less thoughtful than humans.” Andrew Marantz, Main Streamers, The New Yorker, December 11, 2017.
“Jean Bruno Wladimir François de Paule Le Fèvre d’Ormesson was a French novelist. He was the author of forty books, the director of Le Figaro from 1974 to 1979, and the Dean of the Académie française.”
D’Ormesson passed away December 5, 2017. I am actually currently reading one of his books, Dieu, les affaires et nous. Several of his other books are on my reading list. His writing is unique, moving, and it has a way of lingering on the mind, even after you have finished the page.
A legend has departed, leaving us a great gift— his words. Philosopher, reporter, columnist and prolific letter writer, to stay with us forever. Because being a writer, makes you immortal.
I am convinced that it is never too early to talk to our kids, siblings and friends about sexual harassment. I especially think parents need to sit down and have these important discussions about what is okay and not okay, at a young age. We need to show children that they have our support. We will act on their behalf. We will believe them. We will seek justice.
We can not perpetuate our culture, where so many women have felt trapped; and sometimes, even stunned and unsure of what has just happened to them.
We need to erase from our culture the attitude that says, “Why do anything about this? No one will help you/ believe you/ nothing will change/ you will just complicate matters.” We need to take action.
We need to be vocal.
And lastly, also important is our own behavior. Little eyes are watching us. Every time you raise your voice at someone, ignore someone, show disrespect, become volatile with someone, demean someone— children are watching and making this something that they think is normal and acceptable.
What is good, true, pure— these values and definitions start at home.
I wanted to start off the week with the following thought. I was listening to a podcast on the train, as I often do. It was The Skinny Confidential, featuring guest Melissa Wood-Tepperberg (of @melissawoodhealth). She was sharing information about her health journey, past eating disorders, plant based living and belief. Super fascinating.
Something that caught my attention was that she begins the day with a very humbling prayer. It went something like:
“Where would you have me go? What would you have me do? What would you have me say? And to whom?”
I loved this. This prayer empties us of ourselves, our plans, our premeditation or ideas, and it comes to God and acknowledges His control over all things. It says, God, what would you like me to do? (Essentially).
I think a lot of our stress, tension and lack of gratitude comes from a heart that wants to control. I have even seen it in younger children, young adults and older adults who want to manipulate everything. It’s a disease that plagues humanity. And while this sometimes becomes our default operating method, if we believe in a God who loves us, it shouldn’t be.
This week, let’s practice this art of surrender. We will be happier when we do it. After all, the Christmas season is all about love. God’s insane love for us that He gave us the gift of Himself.
So on this Monday, join me in praying: God, where would you have me go? What would you have me say? What would you have me do?
GABRIELA YARELIZ 